Comicflipper

Manga Focus: Legendz

2010-09-30T01:26:00.017+01:00

To say that "collect 'em all" series like Pokémon and Digimon have entirely shaped the way anything is aimed at children is perhaps to make the most obvious statement yet to anyone who's as much as looked at multimedia successes aimed at children in the last decade or so. Of course it stretches further back than those two high points, I mean there were series like Transformers or Marvel's Rom Spaceknight comic series to shill toys to unsuspecting children over the years but it's arguable that Pokémon and Digimon are entirely responsible for today's focus existing, so I'm sticking to my guns on this train of thought.

Turn on your TV. Put on any kid's animé. It was probably made to sell collectable toys. Go to a bookstore, look at kid's manga. It IS there to sell something to the kids. Go to a toystore. THAT is what's being sold to them. It's just how everything works, and I know you're unsurprised. But it leads me to an interesting point about Legendz.

Legendz is a manga made to shill these unique and intriguing virtual pet style pod things to young'uns, we know this to be true. And yet when the manga was licensed for the US nothing was released. To this day, nothing has actually transferred over from Japan. And I don't even know if it was a success over there at that. Basically there's no business reason for this Pokémon clone series to be localised, and yet here it is in its entirety, available from any good bookstore. It boggles the mind to some extent.

But then I take a look inside the books and I get it. Who cares about whether it's selling goods to impressionable youngsters? It's good all-ages reading with art that blows the reader away and that is ALL that matters in the long run, isn't it.

So let's all hit that magical jump thing I include in these articles so you can read me worshipping the very pages the series is printed on or some such, shall we?

HIT THE JUMP TO READ THE REST OF MANGA FOCUS

What Is It?: Legendz is a 4-volume manga series based on a toy range. Released by Monthly Shonen Jump and Shueisha in Japan and localised into the english language by Viz Media. It follows hyperactive Shonen generic mold #3, Ken Kazaki as he makes friends easily through the power of friendship and defeats bullies with ease. But that's just dumbing it down. What it actually does is follow Ken Kazaki as he starts as a new school, making friends and a name for himself as a legendary player of Legendz, a tamagotchi style battling game. This draws the attention of his school's best Legendz players, the leader of whom tries to give Ken a mysterious GOLDEN LEGENDZ CRYSTAL! This leads to conflict with increasingly evil groups of people who all want access to this mysterious and powerful tamagotchi thing. Along the way to the conclusion to the series Ken and his friends learn a lot about friendship, whether somthing has to be alive for you to care for it (and whether those items actually ARE alive) and how to have a jolly good time.

What's So Great About It?: As you've probably gathered from my synopsis of the plot it's not gonna be the writing that stands atop its qualities. Series like Beet the Vandel Buster have successfully proven that generic series can have excellent writing in the execution and Legendz certainly has a glimmer of what made its Monthly Jump cohort's genericness enticing, but around the second volume's conclusion it just gives up the ghost, realising that it may as well embrace the generic nature of any collectable, catch 'em all type series and start a slippery slope towards a lackluster conclusion.

No, what completely sells this to me and any other manga fan with sense is the art. Makoto Haruno is an artist without equal. You only have to look at the one-shot Toriya Trip from JUMP SQ II back in 2008 to see this. That's not to say that Haruno is the best artist out there. Far from it. But when it comes to what Haruno excels at, facial expressions, poses, proportions and adorable creature designs... Well, it's hard to imagine someone as perfectly suited to these things.

A simple way of getting this across to those who prefer western comics is to say that Makoto Haruno comes across in his work as a quality equivalent to Kevin Maguire with the sheer strength of the expressions, being realistic whilst looking nothing like real life.

The sheer amount of creatures and characters shoved down your throat over the four volumes is another brilliant aspect of the series. Not a single one feels rushed or poorly designed and stand out as much as the next. There will always be a little design touch or different bit of design to every character on the page that you will honestly never mix up one person or creature with another. And when it comes down to what you'd want from something expecting you to want to buy every buyable thing you see, it's kinda the most important thing.

Is It Worth Buying?: 4 volumes at £5/$8 a pop? For a fun and beautiful series with only some glaring writing flaws to be held against it? Why are you even asking? Seriously, this is a great book to ease you into the Shonen Jump style and has some decent appeal to any people who just plain love great art. It's a nice, easy to complete package and you can't possibly feel ripped off!

So get your derrières over to Amazon.co.uk and order yourself these gorgeous little things, they're out of print and may not be around forever!

Thought Balloons: Update + Renee Montoya pg.4

2010-09-29T20:55:00.003+01:00

Oh my GOD! I've been gone a significant portion of time and another Thought Balloons update has rolled around. you'd think I'd have multiple entries to make up for the time between posts but... No. No, I only have one script for you. A script where I killed a character because I'm just not a fan, essentially making me much like any given E-I-C. Whoop.

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER - WHAT THE HELL IS MR. POINTY

As usual each script teaches me a valuable lesson, and this one is no exception. I've successfully learnt that if I don't like a character and don't think I can do anything with her flawed, unlikeable arse then frankly I shouldn't force myself to write something. Sure, people are hired all the time to write about characters they may not have a story for, but the basis of things being done through pitches kinda means that if you've got nothing or hate the character, you're not gonna get the job. It's as simple as that.

Also breaking necks Wonder Woman style is AWESOME.

Anyway, onto a character I DO like, to the degree that I took her elseworlds arse and caressed it fondly for what is now 4 out of 12 pages. This is a nice simple stylised wednesday comics style page, providing a simple clothing switch before I dive into the previously alluded to strip club.

... Yeah, so I'm just kind of a huge perv with this story but it's more for the style of the piece than anything. And a love letter to Frank Miller's scripting. So onto Noir As Heck page 4!

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Page 4 - 8 Panels

1-- A sillhouetted Renee Montoya is in front of an open cupboard in a dimly lit apartment. the contents of the cupboard are unclear, but on the top of it is a selection of trilbys. As she's currently preparing an outfit Renee is down to her underthings, consisting of incredibly girly, frilly and colourful panties and bra, both of which are fully visible on her silhouette. Also of important note is that if at all possible her hair should be fully outlined on her silhouette.

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - The Dark Bible has a strict dress code for its patrons, and an even stricter dress code for their employees. And seeing as I'm lacking the necessary fetishes to own my own uniform for that sordid place I'd better get suited and booted.

2-- A shot of Renee's legs as she pulls up some trousers onto her silhouette. The trousers are fully visible, being part of the traditional Question outfit.

3-- A shot of Renee's torso as she buttons a white shirt over her silhouette, tie hanging around the collar, untied.. Whether her bra is slightly visible underneath is purely a matter of whether you feel the colour would show up underneath a white shirt.

4-- Renee is tying her tie on her now done up shirt, with arrows or motion lines indicating her turning and tucking the tie around.

5-- Renee pulling the Question's trademark trilby onto her head, daintily keeping the angle perfect with both of her hands.

6-- Finally we have Renee with the Question's jacket on, doing that thing where you heft your shoulders and shake the collar (man, what is with that thing?). She is now suited. If you're in need of reference for this motion just ask me for some and I shall happily provide.

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - Suited...

7-- Renee is now sitting on the bed in this apartment, putting on some loafers.

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - ... AND booted.

8-- A full shot of Renee in her full Question gear (sans the mask, which shall not be seen in this story). She's neatly dressed for a night in her seedy location, with no make-up other than some considerably dark lipstick.

SPEECH BUBBLE/RENEE MONTOYA - Damn, I feel good.

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - It's a strict dress code, all right, but I'll be struck down if it isn't the best for someone as snappy as me.

QUASAR

2010-09-27T23:17:00.004+01:00

DONE GOT PREGGERS!

(ah the 90s!)

A to Z: O is for Othello

2010-09-27T23:13:00.001+01:00

So it's been a while, and a significant gap in my new schedule. Let's blame it on computer issues and self-loathing and get back on the horse, shall we?

To say that misinformation and ignorance can breed accidental racism or insensitivity is to say something exceedingly obvious. And when it comes to manga there are no end of these groan-worthy moments of cultural distance. Usually these come in the form of how people from foreign countries are represented, most notably America and Africa (doubly so African-Americans, obviously).

If you can catch my gist here, Japan has a HUGE problem in how they usually illustrate black people in manga. More often than not they just look like a horrific caricature, and not out of racism, but purely because most authors just don't realise that the depiction might be a TAD racist. Let's look at one of the more popular examples of this, the Shaman King character Chocolove.This is a relatively early image in that series, so it DOES improve, mind you.

I mean the name alone hints at some small issue, as I'm sure you've noticed, but the huge afro, tribal clothing (he's from New York and at one point was wearing a huge African mask) and large white lips all kinda sit awkwardly as kinda-sorta a bit racist.

But that's the thing. It's not represented as such. In fact Chocolove in that series is one of the more able characters, strong and capable and with a tragic history that's inspired him to want to give good humour to the world at large. It's just that the visual is painfully off (and kinda close to minstrels with the huge white lips). It's just not knowing what you're doing.

Which brings me to today's entry in A to Z. See, this segue is largely unimportant to the manga at large, but I wanted to make a point of acknowledging how awkward it is that a rich girl has a completely subservient black assisstant who doesn't speak so good. It's utterly cringe-worthy and utterly unintentional. The poor speech is because he's not Japanese and doesn't fully speak the language, and the subservience is just how a worker should behave towards their boss in Japanese society. But it rings so awkwardly due to a simple lack of knowledge.

... So yeah. I just wanted to bring up how kinda awkward that is. Now let's talk about Othello.
[WARNING: This review has absolutely NO images of the series in question, because my own scanner and the big bad evil scanlation community have let me down. With that said let's continue, shall we?]

So Othello is a 7 volume series by Satomi Ikegawa that follows the life of Yaya Higuchi, a timid, withdrawn type (something that is basically comics code for "bullied the shit out of") who secretly spends her sundays hanging out with a gothic lolita group (SAFESEARCH ON, PEOPLE!) in secret, the only place where she feels she can truly be herself. But that's really neither here or there. Basically the bullying becomes too much and a childhood persona Yaya calls Nana comes to the rescue, being a brash, no-nonsense polar opposite of Yaya who can deal with the bullies that give her a hard time. And as with ANY story about split personalities Yaya doesn't remember any time she spends as Nana.

Basic set-up, right? Well.... it doesn't really get any more complicated than that for the most part. I mean there's a love conflict between Yaya and Nana of sorts, and more people out to bully poor little Yaya, and even some music related stuff as a central plot point, but really when it comes down to it the series is just an interesting if not simple take on a multiple personality trope spliced with a bit of magical girl tribute.

Oh, that? Yeah, it's kinda interesting. The tool that brings Nana to the fray at first is a magical-girl styled kid's mirror, and Nana herself has very Sailor Moon-esque poses when need be, as well her own catchphrases "HEAVENLY PUNISHMENT" and "JUSTICE IS DONE". Which is kinda awesome in its own awesome way. Not just that, but the idea of someone too weak to fight turning into a powerful version of themselves is kind of the whole crux of the magical girl genre, so there really isn't any denying the connection to the much-loved genre.

So this is where I get into why it's worth reading as part of this 27-part super range of comics. And I gotta say, it's NOT because of the art. Ikezawa's art is very much the typical Shojo art style, in that it's background light and details aren't in the least bit important. Oh and the tones kinda suck complete arse. But if you've been reading Shojo for more than... I don't know, a month? Yeah, a month. If you've been reading Shojo for more than a month you know to expect this and completely ignore it in favour of the story, which is more than satisfactory.

Othello manages to just about dodge becoming saccharine sweet simply by how destestable the antagonists are, or even with how frustrating each situation becomes. It's no Hot Gimmick or I"S when it comes to making you too frustrated with awkwardness and emotions, I mean you can still turn the pages without missing a heartbeat, but it certainly stands out as one of the better titles offered in English.

The most important facet here though is simply this: most quality Shojo series run for about 20-30 volumes, and even the shorter, most brilliant titles like Hot Gimmick run in at 12 volumes. So the fact this clocks in at 7 without feeling the least-bit rushed pays dividends, providing a complete and interesting story without breaking your wallet.

So I implore you to ignore my lack of images in the article, to go to a shop, book exchange, amazon, ebay or even a library, and find this book. Give it a try and you won't be disappointed. And heck even if you are at least you'll... um... hmmm... I'll get back to you on that.

You can find Othello on Amazon (UK) and probably in many a book store, especially as Del Rey's support for manga in the UK is good enough that most of their titles can be found in any decent-sized Waterstones.

And that's O. Next up is P, which is... Classified?! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!

MR NEGATIVE

2010-09-14T17:15:00.001+01:00

IS *NOT* A FAN OF THIS BLOG.

Lazy Sunday: Beta Ray Bill Rocks Out

2010-09-13T11:25:00.003+01:00

SO LAZY IT COMES OUT ON A MONDAY!

Steps to a successful image of awesome:

1. Buy a Beta Ray Bill Marvel Legends.

2. Buy a Transformers Animated Soundwave

3. Give Soundwave's Guitar to Beta Ray Bill

4. Sit back in awe of the wonder before you:

Yes.

Friday List: Top 10 Awesome Pokémon

2010-09-10T22:34:00.016+01:00

Be honest. You love Pokémon. You still play it, and sometimes you feel the need to check out the TV show or card game just to see if they still exist. You moan every time they reveal new Pokémon for upcoming games, but still form new favourites and get excited about the game's release. Deep down you're still that child who played Pokémon for the first time, absolutely entranced by what you saw and what you did. And heck, it warms your heart every time you see a kid experience this crucial part of your history for the first time, becoming as enraptured as you were at their age.

... Okay, I'm projecting a bit. But it's pretty safe to assume that you're like me, one of those people who had their life profoundly affected by an admittedly basic monster training RPG.

So today I'm breaking away from comics (though Pokémon has had, like, a MILLION manga spin-offs and such) to look at the 10 Pokémon that are just so god damn cool when you think about it that you wish they were real. Except the ones that would just kill you. I mean fuck those guys.

SEE WHAT POKÉMON MADE THE CUT BY HITTING THE JUMP!

#10: Probopass
This dude has facial hair that no man can truly beat. Screw his moveset, strengths, weaknesses, whatever. He wins. Because that EV-trained lv.100 Arceus you love so much or whatever? Does NOT have this fucking Moustache. And it IS capitalised. Just because it's so hardcore. Like the Dad you always wished you had, he has the wisdom that only those who know the true art of Moustache can have. And that's why he's on this list. That and I'm pretty sure his ears are stone bird-heads, which makes your arguments invalid.

#9: Blastoise
Blastoise does NOT fuck around. Every other Pokémon out there is just a creature using its abilities to fight and survive. Not Blastoise. No, Blastoise saw his chance to outshine them all and through the sheer power of evolution grew TWO HUGE FUCKING CANNONS OUT OF ITS BACK PURELY TO KILL A BITCH WITH!! He'll stare you down and hurt you. And sure he's tubby, but you try and burn him and he will SOAK YOU!

#8: Houndoom
Dude's straight-up just a HELLHOUND. I mean Houndoom is a creature of hell, walking amongst the living, burning up their Pikachus. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?! Oh, devil horns and some bones on the outside? Flame breath? If you can find a way to get three of these guys on a shirt with a moon we're ALL gonna be rich, and you know it.

#7: Ledian
Are you a teensy little ladybird? No. Can you punch the shit out of things with your many, many arms? Hell no! Then Ledian owns your arse. Doesn't hurt that it's bloody adorable either.

#6: Hitmonchan
He's SUPPOSED to be Jackie Chan. But Hitmonchan doesn't buy into that. Instead he's decided to just be a boxer. That's right, this Pokémon is so badass that he's defied his very name and decided to just punch dudes in the face. Perhaps even harder than Batman can. Just think about that for a minute.

#5: Hitmonlee
Named after Bruce Lee. Kicks things. That and we can all agree that Bruce Lee is better than Jackie Chan, yes? Good. Because things'd get ugly if you disagreed with this headless freak.

#4: Sharpedo
You know why these reasons are getting smaller. Because the pictures speak for themselves. Observe: THIS POKÉMON IS A FUCKING TORPEDO AND A SHARK. AT THE SAME TIME!

#3: Muk

*ahem* GIRUGAMUK!

#2: Honchkrow
Honchkrow is the Godfather. A traditional gangster of a Pokémon, who'll make you offers you can't refuse, or you'll sleep with the fishes. Which, being a crow... He's probably eat. Along with your eyes. So you better recognise, respect and really pay attention to anything this crow does. Or you're in a world of hurt from the big don of the Pokéworld. If he extends his wing towards you, you BETTER take it.

#1: Tropius
Imagine you have your own Dinosaur. Yeah, big enough that you can ride it. Cool, right? Now also imagine that it's a tree, with big shady leaves to chill under, and healthy nutritious bananas growing from its neck. Awesome! AND HEALTHY! Now add in the fact that it can fly! AND THAT IT LOOKS LIKE THE MOST AWESOME THING IN THE WORLD AND THAT NOTHING CAN EVER BE BETTER! You've just imagine Tropius. Look at that son of a bitch. You can't beat that. You want to BE it. And moreso to OWN it. And why wouldn't you? It's just that damn cool. It's so cool that just looking at it makes you want to go high-five someone. Go on, go high five someone. I'll wait for you to come back... Done? Good. Because now you know. Tropius is more awesome than anything EVER.

Manga Focus: Beet The Vandel Buster

2010-09-10T19:45:00.017+01:00

Generic isn't always a bad thing, you realise. The implication that a story being by the numbers or conceptually something we've seen a million times before doesn't inherently make it BAD. I mean heck, nearly every single shonen manga churned out from Shueisha in the last two decades has been conceptually the same thing, which is assumed to mostly be King Generic's fault (King Generic in this piece is played by Dragon Ball).

Let's just put the obvious out there as to how 90% of shonen manga are nowadays. First take a naive boy. Now give him a special talent or something he excels at despite other failings. Give him some insurmountable thing to face that can only be beaten through love, friendship and hope. Oh and while you're at it we're gonna need a brooding anti-hero with black hair and an inability to JUST ABOUT reach the heights of the main character, even if he started off being far more talented. Finally the cherry on top, a stubborn girl who despite constantly being annoyed by the main character's actions slowly falls for him, worn down over time. Heck, be adventurous, throw in a side character or two, an old friend who's lost his way, a teacher who has something mysterious about him, and another girl who is far more outgoing and love crazy than the main character's love interest. With larger breasts.

So, what shonen manga have I made there? MOST of them? Yes. Yes, I have. But then almost half the manga that fit this template have a gimmick, a unique selling point that pulls it above the rest. And those, those generic little beauts, are the BEST generic shonen manga out there.

Which brings me to today's focus (yeah it's late, I know), a manga that sounded so generic that I almost passed it up. But it does everything just so... tweaked to perfection, utilising each trope perfectly, that it truly deserves a look from each and every one of you. Even Clive over there in the corner. Yeah, you see him. Glare at the bastard for not already owning this series. The bastard.

.... What? Oh yeah, HIT THE JUMP TO READ MANGA FOCUS!

What Is It?: Beet the Vandel Buster is a shonen series from Koji Inaba and Riku Sanjo about a young boy in a world of monsters, where humans often choose to stand up to the monsters and their leaders, the Vandels by becoming Busters, warriors of might and magic who are out to make the lives of the humans of the world just that little bit easier in such oppressive times. The young boy (Beet) idolised a group of these "Busters" and one day became one himself to follow in their footsteps. This was admittedly poorly timed, as one of the strongest Vandels in existence attacked Beet's hometown, his heroes the Zenon Warriors attempted to save them all and (SPOILER!) Beet's youthful arrogance almost gets himself killed. For Beet's life to be saved the Zenon warriors (which it turned out was led by Beet's older brother, a fact revealed as they saved Beet's life) they had to give him their Saigas, magical weapons powered by the elements. Without their weapons they fought on, appeared to all be killed, and Beet decided to live on and fight in their memory.

That's the initial premise anyway. From there it became a series about Beet and his "fiancée" Paola building a team of warriors and taking on the strongest Vandels, who begin to target Beet and his team for their slights against them and the promising power within Beet himself.

It is ALSO a series that went on hiatus 4 years ago when the artist Koji Inada fell ill, and has yet to have had even a hint of continuing to this day, leaving the current volume count at 12, with a VERY awkward cut-off point mid-fight. But we'll try to ignore that for the minute, shall we?

What's So Great About It?: I have to heap praise on the characters on display in the series. The humans are pretty much entirely stocks, albeit stock characters done to a fine degree. Beet is the weirdly relaxed/serious when he REALLY needs to be hero with unusual talent and an inability to pay attention to big problems along the way. His ignorance and goofiness are endearing because he can switch just like that into a fighter, ready to do anything to protect the people he cares about. Paola is the standard grumpy love-interest who denies being a love interest, frustrated at how far behind her team-mates she believes herself to be. But of course behind that is a person capable of something great that none of the others on the team can do, with a soft spot in her heart for Beet and a readiness to do crazy things to save the day. That small change is endearing compared to other Shonen heroines, who are usually just left at the 'weaker than everyone else' stage for an eternity or two. Then there's the other team-mates, the most notable of which being Slade, a gruff, miserable looking black-haired ally who hides his caring and respect for someone who he mostly treats as a nuisance and a weaker rival. The stock for this sort of anti-hero type is broken in that he learns to display his respect for others more openly as the series progresses, and even learns his faults and deals with his mistakes over time. It's captivating.

But the REAL stars here are the Vandels, giant demonic humanoid demons, who all have their own personalities and strategies, with different motivations for how they act and an unpredictable element that often shows that when you JUST ABOUT think you know them you're proven wrong. This is something we see most notably with Grineed, the first big-time Vandel Beet & company take on. At first he just seems to be a calm, collected and suave Vandel, intent on taking out any promising Busters before they can become anything more than amateurs. But as the series progresses we see that he's also a calculating, ruthless bastard who plans everything he does to perfection, all to hide that deep down he's a hyper-aggressive and super strong monster whose rage drives away all around him. And this upsets him. It straight up makes him cry out in despair at one point when his true form is revealed to all, showing him for the brute that he is. It's actually one of the more emotional turns in the story, as you emphasise for the enemy who just wants to be more than he was created as. I mean the Vandels don't choose who they are. They're made and they be exactly what they are. And he just didn't want to be that. Which is heart-breaking and a true credit to both the stellar writing and the art.

Oh, the art! I should definitely talk about the art. Koji Inada brought something spectacular to the table with Beet the Vandel Buster, bringing his inimitable style from Dragon Quest: Dai's Great Adventure (which sadly ISN'T out in english) to a new level. The faces were better defined, the proportions felt tighter. And the expressions carried a lot more impact. Again, the main praise here has to go to the Vandels, who all look so different from each other and anything else I've seen that it boggles the mind how he managed to create them. But then I guess with him and Riku Sanjo working together for so long (they both worked on the aforementioned Dragon Quest series for EIGHT YEARS) they'd surely know how to take any crazy thought they'd have and put it down perfectly on paper.

... Wait, so basically I could have just made all this section shorter by saying "WHAT MAKES THIS SERIES SO GREAT?! THE FUCKING VANDELS!"? Bugger.

Is It Worth Buying?: Honestly? Kinda-sorta. If you can live with the fact that there's a 99.9999% chance that the current arc will NEVER finish and that the series is effectively over for good now then yes. Seriously, without the hiatus issue looming over everything this is the dog's bollocks, a perfect example of how you can take something generic in concept and craft a perfect world around it, defying the limitations of the thoroughly stereotypical Shonen genre. And even if you don't care about stuff like that, this is a pretty cool footnote in manga, being a key series for Monthly Shonen Jump when it was around, with a dedicated following and being a decent success at that. And I like to think that maybe, just maybe it'll come back, and those who've experienced it will rocket it to the heights it's always deserved.

That and it's bitching. You can get the current 12 volumes at Amazon (UK) and really, why wouldn't you? Aside from the huge and obvious reason. But as I said earlier, let's just ignore that, shall we?

Thought Balloons: Update + Renee Montoya pg.3

2010-09-08T11:25:00.005+01:00

Another week, another entry at Thought Balloons, and as such another update on the blog. This week brought about a character I know not nearly enough about, except that he's Daredevil and I own at least two books about him/his father. Which counts for knowledge, right?

Daredevil - His Worst Enemy

Again, this entry came with a lesson learnt. When trying to be clever with SFX, at least TRY to make them work. I did a little Thought Balloon based in-joke, that whilst a good idea, had a pretty lousy execution. So lesson learnt, sound effects will be thought about far more in the future.

And with that it's time for another page of my 12-page Wednesday Comics size epic! This entry is a bit text heavy, but that's the advantage of trying to utilise a grander space for each page, really. And even then, over-narration? Kinda a noir trope in its own way.

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RENEE MONTOYA - NOIR AS HECK

Page 3 - X Panels

1-- Renee Montoya is walking down a dark alleyway in the black of night. In front of her by some distance is an indistinct slumped shadow curled up against a wall, shapeless and slender.

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - So here I am, on another dark night in another dark alley, looking for some clues about these "Beastly Gentlemen". Hhh. Beasts, she said. I don't know anything about them, but I DO know about a Bat. Seems as good as any a place to begin.

2--Renee is now next to the slumped shadow, who we can now see looks like a withered shadow of Batman, in that the shadow clearly has something that looks like a cape and pointy bat ears. Renee is looking down at the shadow disdainfully, and grabbing a torch from her belt.

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - I don't even know why I'm doing this. The lady... THAT lady... Is clearly manipulating me somehow. I mean no broad talks like that, do they? To say nothing of what she was... Doing... That was... Where was I?

3-- Renee kicks the Bat-Shadow as hard as she possible can, the shadow's body crumpling around her foot.

SFX/KICK - KA-THWUMP

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - Oh yeah. I HATE The Bat.

4-- Renee has turned on the torch and is waving it at The Bat. The Bat is a crazy looking tramp with overlong canines, a long shawl that looks like a cape, and a mask made out of soggy cardboard. A mask that looks an awful lot like Batman's.

SFX/TORCH - KLIK

SPEECH BUBBLE/THE BAT - GAH! WHARRAYA WAN'?!

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - Crazed son of a bitch. Years ago his family were shot down in this very alley. Since then he's been stuck in a deranged state of mind, refusing to leave this godforsaken little alley. Still, he hears things. And if there's one thing a P.I. needs in a city like this it's someone with good ears. Even if he is The Bat. That Bat for Bat$#!t, obviously.

5-- Renee has grabbed The Bat by his shawl and pinned him to wall, leaning in, yelling in his face. She's shouting so hard that spit is flying from her mouth at The Bat.

SPEECH BUBBLE/RENEE MONTOYA - LISTEN! I want to know about some strange men. A group of them. Carouse with a Woman In White, a fake-tanned sort. Beasts, I'm told. DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING?!

6-- The Bat is now responding, horrible green clouds of rotten breath spewing forth from his mouth. He has maybe two teeth in total left in his mouth. Renee is leaning back, cringing, screwing up her face in an attempt to hold her breath.

SPEECH BUBBLE/THE BAT - Ya, I know about the beasties. They a... Uh... 'ligious people. Mus' be. Tha's why they go to... Urp... The Dark Bible! Now LEMME GO!

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - There has to be a better way than talking to this schmoe, I swear.

7-- Renee throws The Bat back to the ground.

SFX - THUDD

SPEECH BUBBLE/RENEE MONTOYA - Urgh... That'll do Bat. You go back to protecting "your world".

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - Still, I have a lead. The Dark Bible. It's not a religious place at all, you see. The Bat's confused. It's the most high-class strip joint around here. And it adds a new level of fear to my job. I'd better head straight there...

8-- Renee is now at one end of the alley, with the reader viewing from the other end. The Bat has curled back up against the wall, and Renee's silhouette is being violently sick onto the floor.

SFX/RENEE MONTOYA - HURRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGLE!!

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - Right after I've purged this whole experience from my body...

To be continued next week!

MADMAN

2010-09-07T08:57:00.000+01:00

TOTALLY DIDN'T FAIL TO THINK OF A PUNCHLINE FOR THIS POST BECAUSE HE'S BEEN SO BUSY LATELY.

No, That's me.

A to Z: N is for Nomad: Girl Without A World

2010-09-05T22:34:00.045+01:00

Everyone has characters that immediately click with them that, no matter the stories they've been in, just fit so firmly within their hearts that they'll never budge. They're YOUR characters, that you're so invested in that you'll follow them anywhere. They're, frankly, your favourite comic book characters.

Mine are pretty clearly known to anyone fool enough to read this blog for a significant amount of time; Jubilee, Chamber, Connor Hawke (okay NONE of you know that one), Moon Knight and most importantly, Rikki Barnes. Rikki Barnes, former Heroes Reborn Bucky and current Nomad, who currently has the good graces to star in one of the best team books coming out from Marvel as well as the rare pleasure of sharing a book with Captain America.

She's. Just. That. Cool.

Her origin lies in Jeph Loeb and Rob Liefeld's alternate universe relaunch of Captain America, where through a very slow burn she got wrapped up in a crazy skinhead plot (in an attempt to dissuade her brother from being in said skinhead group), strapped to a missile (as you do) and rescued by the formerly amnesiac Steve Rogers. From there she got about one issue's worth of decent use before Heroes Reborn went kinda tits up and it all ended in a clumsy, painful way.

Now, I'm not exactly a hater of Rob Liefeld (at least not anymore). I mean I LOVE Youngblood and his New Mutants/X-Force stuff is the tits. But Captain America easily had his worst art, and nothing from it should really be seen by anyone. But within that mess was Rikki, a shining element of a young girl trying to be worthy of her rescuer, the gargantuan figure of good that is Captain America. It was a spark too good to be left alone and years and years later, it came back with a vengeance.

See, Loeb & Liefeld hadn't really gotten to finish their story, due to the abrupt end of their run on Captain America, and the havoc that followed for the rest of the title's existence. So ten years after the fact both creators got one more chance to finish the story with Onslaught Reborn, a 5-issue miniseries. The time had been good to both creators, outside of the funk of mainstream 90s comics and having had time to refine their skills. Well, for Liefeld to refine his skills. The art had taken a massive step up, becoming something worthy of the content and proving that Rob wasn't the hack everyone claims him to be to this day (which is basically just a popular internet opinion as a sort of rite of passage dealio, if we're all being honest). Not just that, but the time away seemed to have clicked in the creator's minds. They knew what to do with their story, and who to have as the core character of the miniseries. That's right, Rikki Barnes.

[I know, I know, this is getting VERY long for an introduction to the article, but just bear with me, I'm getting to the actual article. I just wanna boot lick for a minute. If you're tired already just scroll down to that part where I say the title of the comic just above a picture of the comic's cover.]

Rikki led us through a quick journey into the Heroes Reborn universe (restored to existence by Franklin Richards temporarily) and we got to see through her eyes the final conflict of that little-remembered alternate universe, with all the heroes of that land joining together for the final time to protect Franklin Richards (inside his own univerAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH MY BRAIN) from a revived Onslaught, potentially the ultimate enemy the Marvel Multiverse has ever faced. Suffice to say they won, but at a cost. The Heroes Reborn universe was once again gone, taking everyone with it, save our brilliant narrator, Rikki. The reasoning about it was something along the lines of her not existing in the 616, but I'll get to that in the actual review.

Anyway, Rikki survived the event, at just the right time to see that Captain America had been assassinated in the wake of the superhero civil war.

Which is where... THIS all begins. And where I encountered the character for the second time (the first is another tale I'll get to in a future A to Z, but rest assured that it's Thunderbolts). Rikki Barnes got a short story in Captain America 600, in which she interacted briefly with Patriot of the Young Avengers. It wasn't a massive story, but it got me into the character sharpish, by no small means due to the teaser image for her story in the issue, drawn so beautifully by Rafael Albuquerque that I freaked out about it on this very blog. A teaser that got redrawn for the debut issue of Rikki's very own miniseries by Sean Mckeever and David Baldeon. A miniseries that was easily the best thing to come out of 2009 for me.

A miniseries called Nomad: Girl Without A World.
Wait, this image looks remarkably familiar... Wonder where we'd have seen an image almost IDENTICAL to it?

See? Told you I'd do that! Anyway, the plot. It's fairly simple, but be warned, there are spoilers (or at least painfully obvious hints towards spoilerific moments), so... I don't know, look the other way and scroll down for... A while...

So Nomad: GWAW picks up with Rikki a fair bit of time into her new 616 existence, with her having a job, a place to live AND beginning to get an active role going as a superheroine again. Her school life is pretty okay, as she's been clever enough to pick the same school that the 616 version of her brother learns at, allowing her to get some bonding in with a much less insane person than the brother from her world (more on this later). In fact her main task that she's failing to accomplish is managing to meet the new Captain America, James Buchanan Barnes, just so he can know that she exists. She almost succeeds at the start of this story, if only it weren't for Black Widow shooing her away, knowing that the last thing BuckyCap (as he's so delightfully named) needs is to see another Bucky.

So dejected she returns to her school life, where some strange goings on are afoot with the school election. Strange going ons related to Mad Dog, the monstrous member of the secret empire! Needless to say Rikki ends up in an awkward position, getting torn the hell up by Mad Dog and having to make a hasty retreat back to her home. Where a strange gift has been left for her: The Nomad costume.
It's only a double page, but Mad Dog beating on Rikki is impacting. You can really feel that she's getting wrecked with every vicious blow. Not bad for a more traditionally comic art style. All that photo-realism can bugger off.
And that's the first issue. I won't recap any more of it in my usual manner, because it really deserves to be experienced first hand. But there ARE a few moments I wanna talk about. Or one in particular to be sure, and that's the nature of Rikki's 616 family, and the explanation as to why there isn't another Rikki Barnes staring her in the face. See, this world's Rikki died at birth, a tidy excuse if not incredibly depressing. Just through that simple move (And calling herself Rebecca Baines) any chance of her connection to her brother is kept secret. Which in no way completely backfires, drawing brother Barnes a dangerous step towards being just like the Heroes Reborn skinhead. It's actually a little chilling, and a relief in that he never becomes that horrific parallel.

But enough of that. Let's talk about the art a bit, yes? David Baldeon's art style is a healthy mesh of European sensibilities and classic comic book art. It's a refreshing change of pace from the hundreds of artists trying for the most realistic things possible, or the sketchier styles of people like Leinil Yu or Khoi Pham (not that they're bad, they're great). What's more Baldeon doesn't go for cheesecake. Which is a good thing when you think about how this is a mini about a teenager, but even when Black Widow pays her small appearance there's no sense that she's there to titillate some pathetic 45-year old comic reader. Which, when it comes down to it, is what we want ALL comic artists to be like.
This is a particular favourite moment of mine. Here's a healthy teenage girl doing exercises. No ridiculous back stretches, chest thrusts or the like. Just some sweat and effort. Which impresses the hell out of me.

Not just that but Rebecca's new costume is brilliantly designed. It's, dare I say it... SENSIBLE! It's covering, padded, bright yet not ostentatious and most importantly it's functional. The boots and gloves are large, protective items, and her two discs on her chest (easy, now) detach from her outfit to act as throwing weapons a la mini versions of Cap's shield. It's just perfect. Not to mention it's adorable! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE or something.

Finally I should give big ups to Sean McKeever. When it comes to writing teens he's the only one worth calling, and with good reason. Outside of a few poorly received DC storylines, McKeever has been consistently cracking out comics starring teen characters of a ridiculously high calibre for what surely has to be the most successful streak of comic books in recent history. He proves it more than ever here, having a grip on Rikki Barnes' voice from the offset, with nary a misstep on the way to the finish line. Sure she's not the most deep character ever, but this is defining stuff and he. has. DEFINED.

I can't recommend this story enough and wish I wasn't trying to keep to a schedule so I could make this a more coherent and loving piece about the work, with more in-depth looks at the minutiae and the flaws of the piece (occasional duck-mouth, awful t-shirt slogans/logos), but you don't need to know about all of that. All you need to know is that this is one of the best comics of 2009 and does great things without reaching for the stars. Both McKeever and Baldeon are great talents and with any luck will one day helm some sort of super-book that they can use to rocket their characters into the heights of all those long-running 60s characters. Or beyond, as the case SHOULD be.

You can get Nomad: GWAW in the snazzy TPB-GN format over at Amazon (UK) and I heartily encourage you to. Nomad is one of several characters that NEED the support of readers to not drift into obscurity, alongside other members of the new team comic Young Allies (by the same creative team, of course, so buy THAT too) like Arana or Gravity. You really can't go wrong with this mini unless you're a heartless monster.

And you're not. Are you?

And that's N. Next is O, obviously, and a return to manga to write about the slightly controversial matter of racial insensitivity inherent to Japan's isolated society. That and multiple personality disorder creates rock stars, don't you know.

Lazy Sunday: My Comics

2010-09-05T18:23:00.006+01:00

The updating streak is damaged slightly by there being no list on Friday, but that's okay, there'll be TWO next Friday! AND a new Saturday feature! I spoil all none of you readers, yes?

Anyway, it's another Lazy Sunday, in which I do something that cannot possibly take more than 5 minutes to complete. Last week we had that terrifying picture of Darth Vader with no clothes on and spiky nipples, now we have... MY COMIC BOOKS!

Well, most of them. The shoeboxes are left closed and the Generation X issues are hidden safely away, and you might well only see half of the manga in my cupboards, but it's still a hefty and quick look at what a man with too much time can collect! Let's go!

First there's the box of current issues/boarded collections, which isn't very interes-... The G.I. Joes? What, it's one of my favourite movies!

And then there's a shoebox of random issu-... What? I NEED A BRUSH TO BRUSH MY HAIR! And the Marvel water squirters are awesome.

Oh and then there's the shelf of trade paperbacks. What do you mean you can't see anything? What, because of all the Marvel Legends in the way? BAH!

How about now?

Or even now? That better? Now, this is all kinda small so far, so let's take a peek inside the cupboards, shall we?

Oh, bloody hell...

... It just doesn't stop, does it?

AND there's a second row behind all this. AND some crap in the cupboard. IT JUST DOESN'T END! SAVE ME FROM MYSELF!

*ahem* That concludes out tour of shit Max owns. Goodbye.

Manga Focus: Hot Gimmick

2010-09-01T20:58:00.023+01:00

Shojo manga is pretty much the shittiest sub-market of the entire manga industry.

Now, that's a very harsh statement to make of an entire age-group of a core part of a country's societal being, but screw that have you read some of the things being released in the west lately? I mean gosh. Let's have a quick run-through of some series so I can pretend my point is valid, shall we?

First there's the recent series Cactus's Secret. It's about a girl who gives up her crush but then suddenly the crush starts calling her CACTUS because she's all PRICKLY AROUND HIM! HA! Will the crush learn... CACTUS'S SECRET? That's... just terrible. I assume there's some clever english going on here that I'm not aware of too, because I'm fairly sure the possessive of Cactus (as a name) would be Cactus', with no extra S. Which if I'm right makes this title really stupid. Like, dumber than the actual plot.

Then there's series like Black Bird, a series about a SPECIAL GIRL WHO COULD BE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU who has a UNIQUE POWER THAT MAKES HER OH SO SPECIAL. In this case it's that she's one of a few who can see a special world where magic and myth intersect with reality. But OH NOES SHE GETS ATTACKED, an old childhood friend helps but OH MY GOD HE'S ALSO AFTER HER BECAUSE OF HER SPECIAL TALENTS! BUT MAYBE ROMANCE WILL HAPPEN BETWEEN THESE TWO AND THEIR SADISTIC BLOOD-LICKING WAYS! These sorts of series make me sick, stupid-ass attempts to tell the same story over and over.

But there is SOMETHING in the latter that appeals to me, an element that if used in a competent Shojo series (rarity that they are) would rock my socks off. A sadistic love interest. Heck, I'd love to see a series where a sadistic or cruel love interest whom the main character doesn't initially like grows and becomes something more than the little kid expressing love in an immature manner...

... Wait, that's Hot Gimmick. A brilliant example of Shojo done right. In that it's mostly not incredibly stupid. And it hurts my heart with every plot turn. As I'll try to explain to you in the review, after the jump.

READ THE REST OF MANGA FOCUS!

What Is It?(Spoilers): Hot Gimmick is a (brilliant) Shojo manga that ran for 54 chapters, following the romantic misadventures of Hatsumi Narita as she deals with a variety of men, all of which being problematic in their own way. Along the way she must deal with her sister having a pregnancy scare, being blackmailed into some very awkward sexual situations (as a direct result of said scare), almost being gang-raped by a love interest and his friends and dealing with the affections of her adopted older brother... Wait I'm making this sound a lot more fucked up than it is! Um... It's also a brilliant tale of people growing up past their immature natures as children to become adults, find love, discover themselves, or face up to the realities of the situations they come to be in. But really no matter what this story is about the romance that builds between Hatsumi & Ryoki Tachibana, which whilst SO uncomfortable at first (because of the whole blackmail thing and Ryoki's immature and abusive nature) becomes something that truly MATTERS to the reader, demanding the attention and emotions of the reader. But I won't say anymore about that, just in case you don't want ALL the plot beats ruined for you.
What's So Great About It?(SPOILERS): This is a series that knows drama. There isn't a single twist in this series that feels tame. Seriously, you read any twist in this story and your heart is torn right out, thrown on the floor and completely destroyed, all before the story kicks it back up into the air and slams it back to where it belongs. But it's too late by then, your heart is hurt. It can't cope with how emotional this stuff is. And not just that, it feels realistic. Okay, that needs some adjustment. It FEELS realistic, even when it's clearly stuff that would NEVER happen. For example there's the reveal of Azusa Odagiri (another of Hatsumi's love interests) true intentions and the motivation for them. See, turns out he's out to hurt Hatsumi's Father by hurting Hatsumi, because he's convinced that the Father had an affair with his Mother, ruining his life and leading to his Mother's death from ill health. That's a real convoluted plot, but one that is treated in such a manner that you believe that not only COULD it happen, but you can realistically imagine it happening as you read. That's pretty damn impacting.

Still, I can't truly address what makes this series great without dealing with the huge fucking elephant in the room: Hatsumi is abused by Ryoki, the character she stays with. And it's treated like it's acceptable. Now, you and I both know that it is absolutely NOT acceptable, and it reads in a way that absolutely SHOWS it's not acceptable, but it IS shrugged off more often than not. This actually becomes comedic more than once when he goes beyond the acceptable threshold and gets CONSTANTLY INTERRUPTED. But what matters here isn't how horrible Ryoki can behave, but how he grows throughout the story. What was once a horrible and petulant child in the body of a man, a person who doesn't understand how to interact with others correctly because of their... corrupt upbringing. It's a man growing from his nurture to discover who he truly is. And in the end he's still a jerk, sure, but he's no longer horribly abusive in attempts to show affection or in dealing with others. He's just kinda a dick. And if we're honest, isn't that the best any man can aspire to be? It also helps that on more than one occasion along the way he shows that underneath it all is a gentleman, ready to protect the people he cares about. I mean the man saves Hatsumi from Azusa's attempted gangrape situation in an incredibly gallant move. You don't get much better than that deep down, do you?

Oh and the art and writing is brilliant, and representative of what Shojo manga could truly be if given as much love and care as Miki Aihara has clearly put into her work. But I'm sadly running too short on time to delve into that, and sadly have no scans to back up my claim on this occasion.

Is It Worth Buying?: Originally I would have said it depends on how much you want to read this story. It ran at 12 volumes at about $10/£6 a pop, which added up fast. But due to the rare bit of common sense from Viz Media the series recently got re-released in their 'VizBig' format, which is a high-quality 3-volumes-in-one dealio at a much lower price than they would be seperately. So for about $60/£40 you can get one of the western markets best Shojo manga. And you can't say no to that. Unless you're an arsehole. Or, ya know, if I've offended you with my earlier whinging about Shojo.

You can get Hot Gimmick in both its formats on Amazon (UK) and I implore you to at least grab the first vizbig 3-in-1 volume. For your own good.

Thought Balloons: Update + Renee Montoya pg.2

2010-09-01T12:52:00.002+01:00

Just your weekly update on the Thought Balloons front! It's been another week, another character and another lesson learnt for your stalwart hero of the land (what?). This week brought Rol Hirst's second character choice and boy, was it a doozy. John Constantine of Hellblazer fame, a character I barely know from adam, or at least from his awful Keanu Reeves counterpart (comparatively awful I mean). So in my usual fashion I etched out a nice story that respects the character and uses him for more than a panel. Barely. The story's title is pretty self-explanatory, so why not head over and read...

John Constantine - Archie Meets John Constantine

Now, this script had its problems, hence the lesson learnt. I went for a first page of a greater story, as I've tended to for... oh... the whole damn time on the site. The problem here being that not all first pages are chock-full of material. So I barely had the two characters used interact, nor had I actually done anything of any real note. So the lesson is DON'T ALWAYS DO A PAGE ONE. For one that can happen, but also we're supposed to grow from Thought Balloons, and that can't REALLY be done if all we're doing is learning how to write page one of a story (as others have clearly already realised with some brill scripts over time).

But enough of that. The title promises page 2 of Renee Montoya - Noir As Heck, and that's what you're getting. So enjoy, and give feedback if you have any. It's much appreciated.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Page 2 - 7 Panels

1-- Lady In Red's face, looking the same as in the last panel, her hair stretching off to form the panel borders to the subsequent flashback panels.

SPEECH BUBBLE/LADY IN RED - It's my other side you see, she's just up to no good. I want her away from them and back to me before she does herself a mischief.

2-- The first of the flashback panels framed by LIR's hair. Contained within is a heavily tanned blonde woman (Woman In White), dressed in an all-white ensemble consisting of a white slip-on dress lined with golden stitching, a large white headband pulling her hair back, some white slip-on shoes and a small white handbag with a gold clasp. She is surrounded on both sides by neatly dressed men with stubbly beards. All three of them have martini glasses in hand, laughing to each other.

NARRATION/LADY IN RED - She's cavorting with some very unpleasant gentlemen...

3-- Same panel as before, in essence, except now the two men are lycanthropes, caressing Woman In White, with one of them running their long tongue down her neck and into her chest. Woman In White now has a sinister, crazed smile on her face.

NARRATION/LADY IN RED - ... Some real beastly sorts, disgusting wolves preying on anyone they see fit to.

4-- We've hit the end of the flashback now, so back to conventional panel frames. We're back in Renee's office, where Lady In Red is doing an extravagant and over-sexualised fainting motion across the desk. Renee is surprised, pushing herself up from the chair.

SPEECH BUBBLE/LADY IN RED - It's all just too much. Too... murroooh-

5-- Renee has caught Lady In Red before she hit the desk, holding her close. So close that Lady In Red's head (Her hat and sunglasses now slipped off from the fall) is in fact resting snugly in Renee's cleavage. I'm a monster, I know.

6-- We're now looking up close at Lady In Red, looking up at Renee while snuggling her head further into Renee's chest.

SPEECH BUBBLE/LADY IN RED - So may I have your help, Ms. Detective? I NEED it ever so much.

7-- Renee's face looking down at Lady In Red, turning completely red, some sweat on her forehead, and her trilby askew, mouth open in an attempt to form speech.

SPEECH BUBBLE/RENEE MONTOYA - Abwuhwha?

to be continued in 7 days time!

FIN FANG FOOM

2010-08-30T20:53:00.001+01:00

FINALLY KNOWS THE ONE THING HE'S BEEN MISSING THIS WHOLE TIME

A to Z: M is for Metal Men

2010-08-30T13:16:00.002+01:00

Sometimes there just isn't a decent opening paragraph to give these A to Z entries. They're usually a mildly related tangent up till I get to a point where I can bring up the comic being featured and segue into the full article. But really, what can I talk about that's related to Metal Men?

I could talk about how it's such an interesting concept in comics for a writer to lay out ideas for another creator to pick up and turn into a miniseries, as Grant Morrison does for Duncan Rouleau in this series, or perhaps how comics companies can use their collected editions as a chance to correct any lettering, colour or art errors found in the original product, as DC completely failed to do here. Heck, I could even go on about how that whilst too much text in a primarily visual medium can be a horrific thing, that in the right hands it can work splendidly, especially in science-based series like All-New Atom, Fantastic Four, or indeed this title.

But instead I'll just tell you that I love the Metal Men. Every single one of them. Copper most of all, if only because she's never really used enough, as the latecomer to the team, and I love an underdog. It's a series that started out as a the epitome of the utterly insane silver age of DC comics and when it returned in 2008 under the creative strength of Rouleau, continuing the momentum built up by their appearances in the weekly series 52. If you try to do something sensible with it you're going to fail. Which is why I really wanted to spotlight someone doing it right.

I wanted so much to talk about Duncan Rouleau's Metal Men... So I am. Let's begin, shall we?

If there's one thing I have to say it's that you simply MUST get this series in TPB/HC over single issues, for this cover alone. Not that it's the most amazing thing ever, more that the single issue covers, whilst well-themed and interesting, are kinda crappy in comparison

Metal Men is an 8 issue miniseries following the titular group of periodic substances (Tin, Mercury, Copper, Gold, Platinum, Iron and Lead) and their creator, Doctor Will Magnus as they face a veritable ton of their opponents, from Chemo to themselves (as the vicious Death Metal Men) in an adventure that spans from ancient Egypt, to Will Magnus' early days in robotics, and indeed into the present day madness. I won't say too much about what goes on (because that would, ya know, RUIN the plot beats), but rest assured that family and time travel are core components of the dense adventure.

And it IS dense. To say that this is full of text (as I alluded to earlier) is to give the writing a disservice. It's BLOODY TEXT HEAVY. I mean we're talking enough text that a single issue of the series takes about thrice the amount of time to read than the majority of comics out there (which when I think about the whole craze of decompressing comic issues to the point of distraction nowadays isn't really saying much). In a way it's a sign of the mental capacity of most characters involved, being scientists and super-robots and the like, but more than anything it feels like a throw back to DC's silver age when the Metal Men were at their best, in densely packed stories where information was thrown at you in sizeable chunks. Here though it's less the silver age tradition of a lot happening between panels than it making sure that a lot happens in EVERY. SINGLE. PANEL. It's almost to the point where the book would have benefited from an extra couple of issues to spread it out, but if you have the patience to deal with heavy text in a visual medium then you're in for a treat, because the writing is pitch perfect. Everyone has a voice of their own and it's never broken for the sake of exposition or something annoying like that. I mean when Platina speaks, she's THE Platina, the fawning, slightly slutty, shiny robot that loves Dr. Magnus more than anyone would be comfortable with. When Tin speaks he's an endearing nervous wreck with hidden strength at his core. It's just so right, through and through.

An example of how there can be a LOT of text on a single page (in this case really a single image and some headshots) without it becoming overwhelming. each bit of speech carries the charm of the relevant character, helping endear the writing style to the reader.

Changing subject slightly I feel there is something that I must inform you of: this DOES retcon the origins of the Metal Men, moreso the responsometers that give them life and soul. Again, I don't intend to spoil it too much but it connects the idea of alchemy in ancient Egypt and living monsters made of the elements of the earth as a starting point that through a strange meeting carries over to Magnus, who fully implements the idea.

Now, retcons are almost universally proven to be painful in execution and often anger fans but to me (and I can only speak for myself, obviously) the retcon here is well executed and if anything has a positive effect on the origin of the Metal Men. I mean before I just knew of their origin as wacky silver age creations where reason wasn't REALLY that important. Instead what we have here is a story that can be referenced and utilised to tell future stories, to give more strength to a group of characters that wouldn't really be capable of supporting a series without it.

Finally I wanna show you where DC have shown a complete lack of initiative, with an error in the issues that was never corrected for the trade. Observe these headings for Chapters 15... and Chapter 15... What?

An issue apart.... (EEEEEE TIN!)

.... with another chapter between them. Competent, yes?

It's a basic lettering error that could surely have just been fixed. I mean there's every chance that they didn't notice it, never got a letter about it or something like that, but it's a sign of an issue I've had with DC on even their greatest titles. Their proofing is just TERRIBLE. Here it's only this and... I think another couple of small cock-ups here or there, but then we have titles like the best-selling Batman & Robin, which has two issues in a row where the letterer thought Batwoman was Batman and Batman was Batwoman. That's pretty damn significant. It's distracting and really makes you feel like you're paying for a rushed, sub-par product. Which is a crying shame because when it comes to titles like this, which stand head and shoulders above so many other titles from Marvel or DC at present, it's just depressing.

Still, don't let that put you off. Metal Men is a great series that needs more attention, and if you give it a chance and the necessary time you won't regret it. You can find the hardcover pretty cheap if you look around various sellers, and even then the tpb is a pretty tidy price for 8 issues too. You can find both versions at Amazon (HC) (TPB) (UK HC) (UK TPB), though I'm sincere when I say get the Hardcover. It's awesome and the engraved picture under the sleeve is the cheeriest face you'll ever see on the front of a book.

So that's M. Next up is my favourite miniseries in recent history, and my second favourite of all time. That's right, it'll be N, which is NOMAD: GIRL WITHOUT A WORLD!

Lazy Sundays: Sexy Darth Vader

2010-08-28T19:50:00.002+01:00

.... I... I'm so sorry.

Friday List: 10 Manga Reduced To Offensively Stupid Negative Traits (Or Is This A Helluva Long Title Or What!)

2010-08-26T22:18:00.001+01:00

A list you say?! You mean that I, Max Barnard, am writing shoddy 'comedic/entertaining' lists about things that are supposed to catch your interest? Yes? Oh. Okay. Well I guess if I absolutely HAVE to do these every friday then I may as well start now. What is it this time? A title THAT long? Christ on a bicycle!

Remember lists? You see them on pretty much every geek entertainment site and, if we're all honest, you should be absolutely bloody sick of them. So much that the next time you see a site start to produce them you should hunt down the writer and kill his fat British arse. So what better time for my fat British arse to start a weekly list feature?

Yes, it's time for another new feature for this first week of Comicflipper's resurrection, this time being a list of 10 morals you could gain from reading certain manga. If you're thick enough to misinterpret them COMPLETELY. So... A short list really, consisting of single sentences. Phoning it in? Yes, I am. Now bugger off...

... TO AFTER THE JUMP FOR THE FULL LIST!

1. Katekyo Hitman Reborn
"Katekyo Hitman Reborn teaches that it's perfectly acceptable to let your young child join the Mafia and carelessly throw grenades at other children! REMOVE THIS MONSTROSITY FROM OUR LIBRARIES!"

2. Yu-Gi-Oh
"This shows that cheating and stealing to win at card games is fine! It's the way to fame and glory! IT'S MORALLY REPREHENSIBLE!"

3. One Piece
"This 'book' teaches that it is COOL to be a pirate! Clearly our children will travel to Somalia and KILL ALL HE CHILDREN WITH UZIS!"

4. Beet The Vandel Buster
"This manga is sexist to an extreme. It shows that if you tell enough people that you're engaged to a girl her will will eventually collapse and she'll become a subservient member of the strong male's 'team'. It's horrifically sexist and I shall now complain about it whilst I write some exploitative Yaoi fan-fiction."

5. Detroit Metal City
"Children will clearly read this mature-rated work where a man sings about vicious incestual rape and murder. AND THEN THEY'LL COMMIT SUCH CRIMINAL ACTS! IT'S TRUE, SOMEONE TOLD ME IT WOULD HAPPEN!"

6. Death Note
"This horrific work encourages students to kill others under the pretense that you can get away with it as long as you get good grades!"

7. Shaman King
"The vaguely alluded to unprotected sex between an engaged couple, aged 15, who cohabitate the night before he goes off on a worldwide quest that will probably result in his death is such a morally null plot point that it can only poison the minds of children to become sexually active early. I mean you can see them do EVERYTHING!... What do you mean you CAN'T?"

8. Ultimate Muscle
"This teaches children who aspire to be professional wrestlers that pooing yourself is the key to any victory, especially in the company of your peers!"

9. Hot Gimmick
"Hot Gimmick teaches that abusive relationships are fine if you're a vapid, weak personality, as surely all women must be in this universe. I must be right, I read a few pages of it!"

10. OEL Manga
"This entire subset of manga shows that it isn't awful to be a westerner aping a decades old industry just because you watched some Dragon Ball Z when you were young and now desperately wish you were Japanese and you can yell completely mispronounced anime cliches at passers-by because THAT'S WHAT ANIME CHARACTERS DO, you pathetic, weeaboo cunt. I mean heck, you think this is drawing competently? I mean what's going on here with the shitty expressions and overacted motions and looking the wrong way because you can't draw this shit properly and are using manga tropes as a fucking excuse. Why don't you just crawl into the foetal position and cry yourself to death you HACKS!"

.... Okay, I may have been projecting my own opinion at the end there. Just a little.

Manga Focus: Ode To Kirihito by Osamu Tezuka

2010-08-25T23:17:00.003+01:00

Manga Focus, the spiritual successor to my old Flip The Page columns at the obscure old website known as Live Action Anime, is my attempt to reconnect with the largest element in making me who I am today, manga and the manga community as a whole (though I hate it as much as I love it). Each week I'll highlight a title I feel deserves the attention, with the occasional look at what's coming out in any given month. Hopefully you'll gain something from it, or at least seek out the titles I give big ups to.

Considering he's the father of modern manga, you'd think that Osamu Tezuka would have his body of works given great exposure over here. Or heck, at least have the majority of the more notable titles in print stateside. And yet in my 6 years of being balls deep into the world of manga I have only seen around 4 of his titles in shops.

Now, I'm in the UK, so I'm admittedly crippled by my positioning in the world, but that's no excuse, as any amount of research would show that the only company to really have had enough guts to translate and print his material in english is Vertical Inc. (probably the manga company most willing to take risks in a market that's undeniably faltering) and they've still got a ways to go. Still, it's thanks to their support of Dr. Tezuka that I'm able to even read and review his work (well, alongside one series from Viz Media and another from Dark Horse, but I digress) so I can only be grateful, as without them I'd never have been able to read one of his more intriguing and absolutely bizarre works, Ode to Kirihito.

Ode to Kirihito is a book that draws upon high philosophy and Tezuka's own background as a medical doctor alongside the very concepts of good, evil, perception, morals and the human condition in an epic adventure through the harrowing and dark experiences of Kirihito, a doctor trying to deal with a peculiar new condition that is turning people into dog-like beasts. I'm not one to claim that something is "deep", because that sounds pretentious as all hell, but Ode to Kirihito is probably the deepest and darkest journey into the human psyche you will ever find on a comic shelf. And anyone who says otherwise is a liar.

So join me in this debut Manga Focus as I take a rather foggy magnifying glass to the genius of this, the greatest work of the greatest manga-ka in the history of ever. After the jump.

READ THE REST OF MANGA FOCUS:

What Is It? (some early spoilers): Ode to Kirihito is a medical thriller that primarily follows Kirihito Osanai, a young doctor intent on investigating and curing a strange disease plaguing a small village in the mountains of the Tokushima Prefecture (that's Japan in case you don't know your geography) that deforms people into a strange dog-like form before their deaths. Intent to prove his superiors wrong in their opinions that the disease (Monmow) is a virus he travels to the village to spend some time there and investigate the cause. Suffice to say things don't go to plan as he's not allowed to leave the village, has to marry a local (despite being engaged to a woman back in the city) and contracts Monmow himself. From there escalating events cause him to discover the truth of the disease and to journey far and wide to get the truth out about Monmow.

A plot that goes alongside this follows Kirihito's colleague, Urabe, as he receives a nun from South Africa who appears to also have Monmow disease. However his findings don't meet the approval of his jaded superiors and his fragile mental state weakens, leading to him making some very unpleasant choices as he reaches and passes breaking point. The chilling moments all lead to some hard, honest choices for him though, choices that show that, despite the negative things he's had to do and the mental state he's in, proves how much the case matters and what lays within his very soul.

What's so great about it? (spoilers!): More than anything? The art. Osamu Tezuka's style isn't only completely inimitable, it's beautiful to a tee, no matter what work the man did over time it just clicked perfectly with what he was writing, proving his position as a master of the art form. Here is no exception, with their being a real emphasis on creating tension and emotion through the use of layouts and surreal imagery, not to mention the very unusual use of Christian imagery (not that Christian imagery is unusual, just that it's very unusual to see in a manga).

Layouts never get their fair share of praise in the realm of comics, yet they can be so crucial in controlling how you read a work and here the main use is to build tension, like in the image to the right of this bit of text, where our protagonist is chasing down a horrific murderous sort, with the view getting tighter with each panel, showing a more panicked criminal and a far crazier and angrier Kirihito. And then we get a wider view, showing that it's this tense and emotional when there's STILL SO MUCH GROUND BETWEEN THEM. If that doesn't even slightly affect you outside of the full context then you really don't appreciate the medium as much as you should (yeah I'm being pretentious saying that but hush I'm talking about the godfather of manga's work here!).

The surrealer elements featuring Urabe really maximise the use of layouts too, creating a sense of a shattered psyche with unconventional and fractured panel placements and images. A personal favourite moment for this is when Urabe sees that Dr. Tatsugaura, his mentor, is responsible for ruining him and his psyche gets closer to completely shattering. We get a sequence of unusually shaped panels with black shapes in white panels, Urabe putting his hands to his face, sweating, his mentor's face and such, all laid out so you don't even know where to look. Your eyes go all over the place trying to find which piece of the bigger picture to look at, creating a feeling akin to that going through Urabe of a fractured mind flitting all over the place, breaking down at this revelation. It's powerful, art-light and shows what can be done just by playing with how a page is laid out.

It occurs to me at this point that I've rambled on and repeated myself endlessly about some stuff but haven't really expanded on the whole "excellent writing and examination of the human condition" stuff I may have alluded to earlier (goodness, I don't remember, it feels so long ago). Well, the writing is excellent. The dialogue is believable. Whether it's coming from the formal atmosphere of the medical profession to the old-timey village, it READS like how someone in that situation would speak, which is something that can be easily overlooked by a lot of comics professionals nowadays.

The whole human condition stuff is something to behold. Whilst a lot of other works would be content to say that good men do good things and evil men do evil things, what we get here is the idea that above anything a good man can do horrendous things for the right reasons. Kirihito himself has to make some hard decisions in his journey through the hero's labyrinth and they haunt him more and more as time passes. But despite all this the reader knows that these decisions are necessary, or at the least would be regretted if they weren't made. Ya know, like decisions people have to make in real life!

Urabe is an extreme in this respect, in that whilst not being a truly good or evil person a lot of the time the reader still generally gets that somewhere in his warped mind he is a good individual. It's just that on the outside he makes some horrendous choices that would paint anyone explored with a fraction less depth as a horrific monster who deserves nothing but pain. Instead what we get is a sympathetic character who can go to extremes and be forgiven because circumstances and the strains he is under warp him into something he is not. The decisions he makes should never have to be made by anyone in a real world situation, but when they are made it is as a real human being rather than a two-dimensional caricature of a singular trait like so many other comic characters manage to be.

Is it worth buying?: In a word? Abso-bloody-lutely. At about £15/$25 for over 800 pages of Osamu Tezuka's greatest material it really isn't worth missing. I believe at present that it's now collected in two chaper paperbacks splitting the story in half, which is fine, but I really recommend tracking down the first edition in its HUGE glory, you won't regret it.

Ode to Kirihito is a once in a lifetime experience in the world of manga and is something that will surely never happen again. So grab it, cherish it and tell all your friends about it. Anything less would just be disrespectful.

Thought Balloons: Updates, Jubilee Script + Renee Montoya pg.1!

2010-08-24T19:39:00.001+01:00

I know, right? Halftone is awesome! The new Thought Balloons banner we've got was done by frequent contributor Danial, and by gosh darn heck have I been waiting to use it here!

*ahem* So remember that awesome writing project thing called Thought Balloons I plugged some couple of posts ago? Well it's been a long time since then and I've got a lot more entries to plug the hell out of, as well as the start of my snazzy bonus content feature over here!

For those who are fresh to the concept, Thought Balloons is Ryan Lindsay's baby, where a group of us get together week on week and write about a chosen comics character as an exercise in script skill-building. It's awesome, constructive and COMPLETELY open to viewer participation. If you're interested in being a part of it and writing about this week's character (Jubilee of Generation X and the 90s X-Men cartoon fame) then head on over to the Why Jubilee? post and stick your own script in the dooblydoo *ahem* I mean the comments.

Here's the scripts I've done since that last post:

Doctor Doom - Latveria's Street Magician

Superman - Related

Blonde Phantom - The Best Dressed Detective (in which I hate on myself unnecessarily)

Aquaman - It's A Pun, You Sea (in which I use Welsh effectively)

The Penguin - Are Penguins Furry? (in which... just don't)

The Punisher - Blood Simple

Gamora - Dojo of the Deadliest Woman

Renee Montoya - Noir As Heck

Jubilee - Who I Am Hates Who I'll Be

And now for the bonus content I've been touting. The first is a re-release of my Renee Montoya script on here, which will be followed for 11 subsequent weeks with the rest of the story. Because I'm not lying when I say that THAT, my Gamora script and my Punisher script are some of my best works I've ever done. Why 12 weeks of Renee Montoya? Because the pages are scripted with the page size of Wednesday Comics in mind and I want to do something of that sorta length with my crazy Elseworlds-style tale of stuff that is indeed Noir As Heck.

Renee Montoya - Noir As Heck

Page One - 7 Panels

1-- Renee (in a tank top, trilby, cargo shorts and sizeable boots) is sitting at a desk in a very cliché P.I.'s office, with her booted feet up on the desk. I'm talking the works, old style wood panelling in a sparse, cheap, small room, with basic lamps in some corners, and blinds on the windows. If you need any reference check just about any classic hard-boiled detective film made more than... let's say... 30 years ago. I'm not kidding, it's always the same. Heck, I think the detective's office in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" had that typical look. Anyway, the desk (and subsequently Renee) is facing the door, which is slightly ajar as a long leg draped in the lower parts of a glittering red dress is making its way through the gap. If the connected foot fits into the shot we should see some ruby-red stilettos with a very long (but not ridiculous) pointed heel.

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - I knew as soon as she entered my office that she was nothing but trouble. The kind of trouble that can never lead to anything good...

2-- The woman (who for the sake of scripting will be referred to as "Lady In Red"), a redhead with skin as white as ivory and made excessively tall and leggy by the aforementioned heels, has entered the office, leaning in a sultry pose against the doorframe, with one arm raised to her head, holding a wide-brimmed floppy red hat, with a large ribbon trailing off of it down her body. As for said body, it is covered by the previously alluded to long ruby-red sparkling dress, with a chest cut from the shoulders straight down to the navel. At that point there is another extravagant ribbon, that trails down to her heels. Her eyes are obscured by oval sunglasses with -what else- deep red lenses. Her lips are a bright red pout, alluring yet revealing nothing of her emotions. In the hand not leant against her head is a small (RED) handbag/purse dealio. A hell of a design job, but drop-dead gorgeous and *ahem* Noir As Heck.

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - Not that trouble has ever stopped women like these being worth every second in front of your eyes.

3-- We're now looking at Renee's face, trilby raised, surprised and ever-so slightly slack-jawed expression on her face.

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - I mean DAYUM!

4-- Renee is now leaning back in her chair again, trilby covering her eyes as she tries to maintain a blank expression. This, however, doesn't distract from the facts that her cheeks are now quite red.

SPEECH BUBBLE/RENEE MONTOYA - Dayum...

5-- We're now viewing Renee at her desk from the doorway, with the legs and arse of the Lady In Red in view as she struts sexily towards the desk.

SPEECH BUBBLE/LADY IN RED - Oh Ms. Detective, I've come to you with quite the dilemma, a real pulava, a what-to-do and a great big mess I need you for.

6-- Viewing the scene now from just over Renee's shoulder, the Lady In Red is now leaning over the desk towards Renee, back curved so that her rear is raised above the curve itself, thrusting her cleavage at Renee's face with no real subtlety, yet still maintaining a pose by pushing her breasts together with her arms, which themselves are pushed against the desk.

SPEECH BUBBLE/RENEE MONTOYA - Whuff. A problem, you're saying? Well I'm the right person for the job, toots. And it's Renee, by the way.

7-- A close-up of the Lady In Red's face, wherein she is perching her sunglasses on the edge of her nose, looking up through her carefully shaped eyebrows at Renee with -again, what else- red irises. She is now slyly grinning.

SPEECH BUBBLE/LADY IN RED - Oh wonderful, I'd hoped ever so much that you'd be just the person I was looking for. Let me tell you about what's causing such a stir in me, making me all a-twitter, all flustered and bothered...

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - Some Dames are worth all the trouble in the world and this one... Well, she could cause three world's worth of trouble and I'd still be putty in her hands.

The second item is behind this jump, and is a SECOND Jubilee script focused more on the character at her best than the soapbox moaning about what she's become that I did for the Thought Balloons entry.

SO HIT THE JUMP TO READ JUBES LIGHTING UP THE SKY!

Jubilee - The First Fourth of July - Max Barnard

Page 1 - 7 Panels

1-- Jubilee is standing against a night sky, stretching and cracking her fingers in front of her. She's dimly illuminated by a light source somewhere in front of her (Chamber/Jono Starsmore), showing her in her classic yellow jacket grinning widely.

TEXT BOX/NARRATION - July 4th 1994

SPEECH BUBBLE/JUBILATION LEE - 'kay... You guys ready to be blown away?

2-- We've now pulled back to show the rest of the Generation X crew (Penance, Husk, Chamber, Synch, Skin, M) sitting in front of her (by a fair few metres? I mean you shouldn't be near fireworks when they're lit, yes?). All are sat legs crossed, though Penance has her hands to her face in fear and Husk has a fist raised in the air. The light source used earlier is now clearly Chamber's chest energy stuff, illuminating the students in what is essentially just an open field. Nothing else is visible.

SPEECH BUBBLE/M - Get on with it.

SPEECH BUBBLE/Husk - WOO! DO IT GIRL!

SPEECH BUBBLE/Chamber - ... You guys know I don't sodding care about the fourth of July, right? I mean it's celebrating you Yanks beating the UK and all that.

3-- Jubilee has raised her hands to the sky, ready to use her powers. Penance has lowered her hands and leant forwards expectantly and Husk has lowered her arm.

SPEECH BUBBLE/JUBILATION LEE - OKAY, OKAY! Prepare for spectacular awesomeness unlike any awesome you've ever been awesomed by before! Time to bring the FIREWORKS!

4-- Some meagre little lights spurt from Jubilee's fingers. Penance has jumped up, cowering and peeking through her fingers at Jubilee.

SFX/JUBILEE'S FINGERS - fzztleflit--

5-- Jubilee is now sad, shoulders slumped in defeat. Penance is dashing off panel. The other students are all laughing.

SPEECH BUBBLE/STUDENTS - AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

SPEECH BUBBLE/JUBILATION LEE - *sigh*

6-- On one side of the panel Synch has gotten up, with his arm round Jubilee's shoulder. Jubilee is looking at him with a faint smile on her face. On the other side of the panel the other students are either playing with sparklers (Skin, Husk, a VERY cautious Penance) or sitting down watching the others play (M, Chamber). The three sparkler users have "G" "-" and "X" from left to right. Because that's just how they roll.

SPEECH BUBBLE/SYNCH - Hey, don't worry about it. Just do it again next year when you've learnt to better use your powers.

SPEECH BUBBLE/JUBILATION LEE - ... Yeah. And every year I'll make it an even better show for everyone. Thanks for cheering me up Ev, you're a good buddy.

SPEECH BUBBLE/SYNCH - No problem. Things can only get better for us, I'm sure of it.

7-- Close-up of Synch and Jubilee, both looking at the reader suspiciously.

SPEECH BUBBLE/SYNCH - ... Right?

TEXT BOX/NARRATION - The End.

WENDIGO

2010-08-22T21:19:00.007+01:00

GETS A REAL MAD-ON ABOUT THE PRONUNCIATION OF ITS NAME

A to Z: L is for Lost Girls (Or: Not Safe For Your Soul. Or Work)

2010-08-22T21:16:00.001+01:00

Sometimes a man must admit that even he has limits as to what he'll do. For me it's that I simply cannot and will not post uncensored images from Lost Girls in this article. So I've employed a crippling amount of editing to ruin the original art of the comic and preserve my dignity a few more minutes. Apologies to those who desperately need some titties, you bloody wankers you.

It's a hard thing to see a classic tale of prose adapted into something wholly different. We usually see this with Hollywood film adaptations, such as that absolutely bloody awful Alice In Wonderland by Tim Burton painfulness. Or any Phillip K. Dick books save A Scanner Darkly (not that those were bad films, just not faithful). In comics we've seen this done to SOME success though, with titles like The Wonderful Wizard of Oz from Marvel being a truly brilliant title that captures the charm of the original material and didn't stray very far from L. Frank Baum's writing.

So it came as some surprise to me when I learnt that Alan Moore took three beloved children's characters, put them in a comic and made them all have lots of sex.

... I mean that's just not good adaptation, surely?

But it is.

And I'll tell you why as we delve further into Alan Moore and Melinda Gebbie!

Ah what a nice and innocent cover, yes? And with a a nice thematic nature to it!... Let's look at what's going on inside that mirror, shall we?

OH GOD WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!

To give you the basic gist of what Lost Girls is about (at least on the surface), it follows three characters from popular literature (Alice Fairchild, Wendy from Peter Pan and Dorothy Gale) as they meet for the first time in an Austrian hotel ("Hotel Himmelgarten") and connect due to the fantastic natures of their pasts. And have sex. A lot. In pretty much any situation, from watching a theatre performance to a frantic orgy all throughout the hotel. Seriously, nothing stops the trio from giving in to their desires. Which in its own way is a beautiful expression of freedom, and in another an excuse to fill the book with Alan Moore's filthy, beardy perversions.

Of course more happens than just that. There's also a subplot involving Wendy's husband and Dorothy's new fella having a jolly good time together as well (which is significant enough to get an entire chapter dedicated to it), not to mention the mystery of hotel owner Monsieur Rougeur and his much beloved "White Book" of naughty, lurid sex stories. But really they're just some icing on the cake of what is really a story focused on our three main femmes.

Something I do love in this graphic novel is the tendency to use panel layouts to maximum effect. A particular instance of it is this, where the panel borders control the way you read the page, and separate the conversation going on between Dorothy and Alice with Wendy's arrival at the bottom. It's effective without intruding on the art.

But I digress from what I was trying to say earlier, in that this is a brilliant adaptation of the original material. Because it is. And it's so much more than that. But before I go further into all that other stuff I suppose I really should address the adaptation thing so I'm going to and this paragraph is a really awkward segue, isn't it?

The key to a good adaptation isn't necessarily to be faithful to the nth degree. We've seen this to be true of how awry most of Watchmen went (though it did substantially change the ending) in its attempt to be a perfect adaptation of the original work. No, in my opinion the way to make an adaptation work is to take the original material, but make it fit what you're attempting to achieve with your version. This works well in Lost Girls by twisting the classic stories of Through The Looking Glass, Wonderful Wizard Of Oz and Peter Pan into the sexual discovery of their characters, with what originally happened being reflected in the new versions of the tales (which quite brilliantly are told via use of artistically different tales shared amongst the trio).

An example of this I'll highlight for you all is the approach taken to Dorothy's encounter with "The Tin Man". In her retelling he is one of three farmhands she has sexual relations with, the last of the three to be specific. Where the parallel is drawn is in how he is referred to, as a heartless man who just pounded away like a machine, like clockwork, with no romance in him. However, towards the end of the story she dumped him and he got upset, showing he had a heart all along. It follows the original material in some ways whilst twisting it into the correct shape, and makes it work without ruining the tale... For me. I'm sure it angered any number of people who didn't want to see Dorothy wanking off a horse (oh yeah that happened. and it's weird). Or later in the story where she sleeps with her father.... What was my point again? Wow, it's not often that I kinda prove myself wrong with the minutiae before I've even succeeded in making my point. Still, I like to think I'm mostly right... In my mind.

A nice aspect to the flashback things is that each story will kinda be summarised in a single art piece that makes the connection to the literature even clearer. They're amazing pieces, though this one has been ruined through my standard need to preserve my dignity right after using the words "wanking off a horse".

Finally I want to talk about the way each chapter tends to differentiate itself from the others. Whilst one or two chapters may well just be standard sequential art, others will be framed by representations of such things as the seven deadly sins or the material from Rougeur's White Book, and the flashbacks all have their own panel style and artistic theme. For example whilst the tales of Alice Fairchild's past are framed in consistently sized ovals page on page, containing surreal and overwhelming images, Wendy's past is framed in a stained glass style with a 4 panel layout and flat colours throughout. These touches maintain an immediate atmosphere for each person's past, affecting expectations and page-space in ways that prompt the imagination to mentally add a tone to how they react to these controlled layouts. Also they all look VERY pretty and stylised, and isn't that what REALLY matters in the world of high-brow artsy comic erotica?

... You tell me. I don't really know much about this stuff.
I haven't had a chance to praise the realistic facial expressions, so just... I don't know, admire this poorly censored example of one of the brilliantly true-to-life faces to be found in the work. Also who the hell wears a penis costume?!

If there's one thing that solidifies my recommendation of this title, it's the fact that despite what it is it makes a GREAT coffee table book. I mean you put this down in front of mixed company and you're guaranteed to get a chance for a fancy conversation. Or you'll be considered a perverse freak. Either way, CONVERSATION! Which if you're a geek is something you're sorely lacking, as we all well know. So that's a

You can find Lost Girls in... Comic shops? Maybe? OR you can just order it off of Amazon.com (UK). You know you should. Just 'cause you can.

And that's L. What's M?... It's Metal Men by Duncan Rouleau. Less perverse, but still well worth talking about. I hope.

I'm Sorry It Took Me So Long (To Come Around)

2010-08-22T11:28:00.001+01:00

I'm back after all this time, and I'm ready to please my hundreds of readers with my fingers and occasionally my mouth!

.... What?

*ahem* I'm back. Properly. There's a schedule and everything. I should be posting 4 to 5 times a week with substantial content. I KNOW! Not just that, but A to Z will rocket to its conclusion week on week, starting with tomorrow's entry on Alan Moore's Lost Girls. Amazing, I know.

So strap yourself in, put your strap-on on and come with me into my own fairly normal psyche!

.... That's it. I haven't got anything else to put in this post... So here's a picture of an adorable Goat.
I should have used a sheep, then I could say "I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-CK"... Shut up.

Thoughtballoons (Or: a cool thing I regularly do)

2010-06-11T20:53:00.003+01:00

So yeah I do this thing called Thoughtballoons, which is basically the writer version of Comic Twart. Each week we write a one page story about a chosen character, and leave it out there for public criticism and such. So far we're about three characters in, and I've actually managed to update EVERY WEEK!

DUN DUN DUN!

Yeah, I know! So I encourage you to hop over there and look at my stuff, and while you're at it, EVERYONE'S STUFF. It's a fun project, open to all comers to participate in, and it's a chance to see how comic scripts CAN (but in my case probably shouldn't) look.

MY ENTRIES SO FAR:

IRON MAN - STARK NAKED

MOLECULE MAN - MOLECULE FAN

MEPHISTO - AMBROSE BURNSIDE

A to Z: K is for Kinetic

2010-06-08T14:53:00.022+01:00

Welcome to COMICFLIPPER! I'm Max Barnard, I write about comics (for the most part). If you're new or have just not checked out this site in a while (it's been a while longer than forever since I last updated), this is the 11th entry in my A to Z of Comics, wherein I highlight a comic from each letter of the alphabet in the hope of learning something, encouraging others to read the title, or as was the case last time, suffering horrendous pain from one of the worst comics of ALL TIME. Hopefully you'll stick around for the ride, or at least find something interesting about these articles. Okay, we good? Let's go.

I'm probably not the first person you'd think of when you're trying to name people who like realistic elements in comics. In fact I'm not even the FIFTIETH person you'd think of, but that's more because you barely know me rather than any lack of affinity for realism. Still, once in a while I'm struck by some sort of 'powers-that-be' and really just want something different, that feels like it could be rooted in OUR world, no matter the unusual aspects of the book.

I've turned to many books over time looking for this fix, and for the most part have been left cold. From Kickass (which I swear is the SECOND worst comic book I've ever read) and its unrealistic physics and hilariously pathetic pandering, to Scott Pilgrim, which whilst brilliant just feels too disconnected from reality and silly to sate my need for a realistic comic. There's the occasional gem like Phonogram that feels so realistic I might actually start believing in Phonomancy and the power of music, and indeed the book I'm about to go on about now.

That book is Kinetic and SOCKAMAGEE is this stuff brilliant.

Kinetic is an 8-issue limited series from DC's now entirely defunct DC Focus, a delightful little imprint that seemed to mostly be remembered for dealing with superpowers in a non-superhero related manner. To be honest though it's mostly not remembered at all, because no-one bought anything from it, hence it being defunct. The most memorable title from the line was probably Hard Time, a series about psionic powers and high school or something (I don't know, I've never heard of it before shut up), in that it escaped the Focus imprint and managed 7 issues as just a normal DC comic. But I digress, let's look at the plot, shall we?

Kinetic follows one Tom Morell, a high-school aged dude who suffers from no end of medical issues from Hemophilia, to Muscular Dystrophy, and even Diabetes. Basically the poor boy has a shitty quality of life because of this and he despises it. Everyone at school treats him like shit and his mother is far more over-bearing than anyone needs a mother to be at that age. Anyway it all gets too much for poor Mr. Morell and he decides the best solution is to step in front of a truck. Rather surprisingly he survives this without as much as a scratch (which is more than can be said for the truck driver, who rather spectacularly flies out of the truck's cabin). In fact let's break from this summary to show that:

SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT, that's INSANE!

*Ahem* Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, what follows being hit by the truck. Understandably in complete shock from these events, Morell goes home and sleeps. The next day he gets his usual life-saving injection and seizes from it, because as it turns out he doesn't need it anymore, for he's now super-powered and stuff. Later on his mother discovers his powers and after some initial shock completely breaks out of her restricted life, becoming disconnected from her son and finally exploring romance again after so long.

In the meantime Morell tries to enjoy his life now he's free from all his problems and is thoroughly disappointed, and in fact has several problems on the way, such as feeling guilty about peeping on the girl he likes and feeling so guilty he has to tell her. Not only that but in all his angsting he finally realises that the truck driver is probably dead now, which is not only incredibly sad but gives him even more reason to angst (there's a LOT of angst in this). All in all it comes to a head when he realises he used to be special, and has lost that now he can live life like a normal person and decides... to be... A SUPERHERO.... For all of a few pages. Ya know, because being a superhero would be stupid.

Clearly the best superhero mask anyone has ever worn in the history of comics!

Anyway long story short the girl he likes who he peeped on punches him in the face and he has a MASSIVE nose bleed, realises his powers are gone, falls down stairs, breaks his collarbone and his mother takes him to where he first got hit by the truck so he can be hurt by a truck again, in the hope it'll restore his powers. After an interesting conversation between the two he lets his hand be run over by a truck, which totally doesn't work. Finally he reconciles with the girl he likes and they eat school dinner together. The end.

Phew, I really shouldn't recap ENTIRE stories in this thing, but I felt like I really should in this case, simply because it helps to know what to expect. Telling you all about it doesn't spoil the series either, because I haven't explained the nuances in art, dialogue, structure and such. I've just told you the plot beats, and honestly they're the least important aspect of the story. So now you've survived the horrific parts of this article, I'll let you in on some of those more sophisticated elements.

The dialogue would be the best place to start, and will actually be the ONLY bit I'll highlight, if only because I wouldn't want to spoil the entire experience. Every bit of dialogue has the emotion and tone behind it that you'd expect from something with a, y'know, actual auditory aspect to it, which really speaks wonders about the comic in that it transcends the largest stumbling block of the format. Some particularly powerful moments that use this intense power are the flashbacks found in issue two that show the past of poor Tom Morell before that fateful truck hits him. They show strong moments in his past between him and his mother and you can HEAR the dialogue to the nth degree, with timing and tone all displayed magnificently through the layouts and more than anything the lettering. Here's a couple of them:

If anyone says this stuff isn't emotionally powerful I will punch their SOUL with my wimpy sensitive fists

Huh, that might be the first time I've ever made note of the lettering in a comic. Who did it in this? Oh, Pat Brosseau, I've heard that name before. Oh Pat letters Sweet Tooth, another series with AWESOME lettering.

On that note I should actually mention and suck up to the creative team on this. The initial concept and character and such is created by Allen Heinberg of Young Avengers, The O.C. and 'that one Wonder Woman arc I actually liked that wasn't Diana Prince: Wonder Woman' fame. I'm not sure how much I can attribute to his initial premise, so I'll just say that he's a part of this tapestry of brilliance along with Kelley Puckett, co-creator and actual writer of this mini.

Puckett is probably best known for creating Cassandra Cain, the previous Batgirl to Stephanie Brown. That's some pretty massive creative stature there, as Cain was one of the most well-received characters in the recent history of DC comics. But WAIT, that's not all. Puckett also created the BEST Green Arrow, Connor Hawke, whom I've actually read some material of so I can say something a bit more substantial, like ONE OF THE BEST THINGS EVER CREATED EVER EVER EVER. And I don't say that lightly. Connor Hawke is up there with Rikki Barnes, Arana, Lyra and Phonogram as far as BEST THINGS EVARRRRR go... Most of the time. Sometimes he's not, but that's not Puckett's fault.

The art is by Warren Pleece, whom I'd never heard of previously, but have been assured that he is a british artist who has contributed to such titles as The Invisibles and Incognegro, as well as the apparently brilliant 2000AD title Second City Blues. He's a pretty great talent who really should do more stuff that I'm reading, if only because it's easier for me to notice an artist when they're creating stuff I care about. Shove him on something like... um... ON SOMETHING. DO IT!

So, this has been a little slapdash, if only because this is the first piece of proper writing I've done since what, mid-March? Anyway, I'll wrap this up by saying that Kinetic is a one-in-a-million experience, that title you've never heard of that amazes you when you have the courage to check it out. It does little wrong and really knows how to work within the confines of its 8 issue length. You can probably hunt out the trade paperback on Amazon and I heartily encourage you to do so, else never quite understand all this crap I'm spurting out of my mouth. Oof that's not a nice image, I need to go wash my mouth out now.

So that was K, what's next? Oh it's L, and the pornagraphic high-art of Lost Girls. Gird your loins, but not in that way, as it's coming soon!

A to Z: J is for Jubilee

2010-03-13T13:24:00.025Z

Ugh... It's really no lie to say I've been dreading this. Thankfully I had Young Allies to squee over like a child recently to fill the gap in updates, because if I honestly had to churn this out two weeks ago like I intended I would have gone stark raving MAD! But still we all have to knuckle down and face the music at some point and right here, right now, is me doing just that. So let's dive into the final A to Z of block two, shall we?

The immediate issue that anyone has to face when they make a schedule such as I have is that if you haven't ACTUALLY read every title you're going to review in your attempt to highlight 'underrated series' you will inevitably hit something that is so unequivocally SHIT that your only course of action is to punch yourself square in the face till you finally pound it into yourself that you should ALWAYS make sure you know what you're going to write about before you do.

Because this is shit. It is REALLY SHIT (seriously my twitter followers will know of the pain I suffered reading this garbage. In fact this A to Z might suffer for that venting as I've gotten a lot of the pain out of my system). This comic is in fact one of the worst titles I've ever read (and I've read Ultimatum, Countdown to Final Crisis, The Incorrigible Hulk AND Anita Blake, so I know from shit), featuring some incredibly STUPID art (something that's hard to diagnose art with, I might add) and writing that can only ever come from someone so detached from the reality of being a youth as Robert Kirkman is (a statement I'm sure would provoke disagreement from Invincible fans if they actually read this blog).

This is Jubilee and it almost made me quit writing about comics.

Ugh... Not a wraparound AND it makes me feel sick to look at. Bravo Jubilee, bravo.

Okay, how does this template I attempt to use go? Um.... PLOT! What's the plot of this heap of stinking crap? Well I'll tell you! Jubilation Lee has decided to look even more like a stereotyped cartoony Asian than ever before and followed that up by moving to Bel-Air to live with her rich Aunt who is of course an assassin. Still, credit where credit's due, at least she's not a kung-fu ninja assassin. I think.

Anyway, so Jubilee starts to go to school, becomes friends with the resident unpopular geek who LOOKS JUST AS NORMAL AS THE NEXT PERSON, starts crushing on the first white jock she sees (a theme throughout until she eventually ends up kinda into the black teen gang leader of the tale, which is OH SO MUCH MORE LESS STEREOTYPED THAN THE ARYAN JOCKS, AMIRITE?! (aside: he actually is)), causes some typical trouble, retcons the use of her powers down a fair bit from fusion-reaction based pyrotechnics to... flashes that kinda blind people a bit for a while. I mean obviously, right? Anyway some boring crap happens, Jubilee ends up being forced to be some sort of youth counsellor and does such impressive feats as getting a rebellious youth to leave the gang he's in and fighting another gang leader and... Well that's about it. Oh and Wolverine turns up at the end, which coincidentally is when the crappy artist for the first 5 issues fucks off somewhere.

Remember when Jubilee decided to look like a horrible whorish stereotype drawn by a crazed artist who really didn't know how to draw anything remotely well following the death of her friend Angelo? Me neither, but here it is.

You really can't make this stuff up. Because if you did you would be an awful writer who needs to be slapped on the wrists and told to come back when you have the ability to write something relatively palatable about a new ant-man, or even a brilliant series about a forgotten golden age character called Destroyer. And if you're that person, you're also Robert Kirkman.

Now, I've already fielded the fact that Kirkman and Phillips brought me back into comics with Marvel Zombies, to the point that I essentially wrote a love letter to Phillips back in my Incognito entry in this exercise in futility. But sadly whilst Phillips gets endless love from me, Robert Kirkman has been out to make me attack him at various points in time. Jubilee is the worst example, but such works as his mediocre Captain America material, his utterly shite Ultimate X-Men (though the title never exactly had that much going for it anyway), the frankly boring selection of comics from Pilot season and a kinda hit and miss run of his beloved Image title Invincible (that I usually like but really seems to not understand how teenagers talk and behave).

AHAHAHAHAHAHA IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE THIS SCENE IS ROBERT KIRKMAN'S EXCUSE FOR A MINOR SOAPBOX ON JUBILEE'S COAT! HILARIOUS!... My GOD just kill me now.

Not to say he doesn't do good. I like Haunt, and I bought volume 1 of Astounding Wolf-Man and didn't HATE it. Though most of his comics have a freakish obsession with OMG THE MENTOR CHARACTER HAS BETRAYED THE PROTAGONIST AND IS NOW A VILLAIN HOW CAN THIS BE, including Wolf-Man, so obviously any praise is hard to give. I'm serious on that trope though. Think about it: Invincible (Invincible's Dad), Wolf-Man (the Vampire bloke), even Marvel Zombies: Dead Days to an extent (Reed betrays EVERYONE). I mean sure you can say that Chew has the exact same trope but at least it jazzes it up a little by involving an ear being bitten off.

OH FUCK FORGOT TO SAY SPOILER FOR THAT PARAGRAPH!

TOO. MUCH. BLOODY. TEXT!

Anyway I'm only covering the basics of everything here because too much exposure will surely kill me, and this taking over two weeks to write is evidence of that. I will however quickly name the artist of Jubilee, Derec Donovan. He starts out in the first issue with some art that looks relatively nice, but within PAGES it deteriorates into some god-awful crap that was actually painful to look at. In fact going through the comic that fateful first time I found only ONE good page from Donovan before the final issue's change to the cover artist Casey Jones and that was when Wolverine appeared in the final page of the final issue Donovan drew! I mean really! In fact here it is:

There I just saved you what would have been like $18 or something.

Ugh... Anyway, as you all know by now the point of A to Z has been to point out comics that you should read and tell you why. And honestly it's been hard to work out why. But there is a reason. And this is it: to truly understand the importance of good, nay, GREAT comics, you must first expose yourself to the worst of the worst. This is down there with them, and by reading this you can truly take your first steps to truly understanding comic books as a literary art form. And that's something.

This time around I'm not going to link you to a place where you can buy this comic because I'd feel bad showing you where to waste your money. Instead I'll leave a tidy little link to a much better comic beginning with J that I really should have written about if it wasn't quite well known.

This comic right here. I love it, and it's criminally cheap.

Now I need to go weep and lash out at the world, as I've been far too tame here.

And that's J. Next is K, which could be ANYTHING that begins with K at this very moment. But what's important is that it's not Jubilee, because I can't deal with that right now. And of course A to Z has now finished block two and will be back after a short break for block three. Because I like to have excuses to wait a while before being productive. Still, daily updates of some fashion are starting soon. Which is nice.

A to Z: I is for Incognito

2010-02-24T11:44:00.032Z

And now I'm done venting on a comic that isn't nearly as bad as I make out (Pixie, not JLA. That legitimately pissed me off. Pixie is actually a very flawed title that has some decent stuff going for it once you've gotten past all the stuff that pissed me off) it's time to continue A to Z. Before that though I want to thank all the people who contacted me about A Crisis On Infinite Blogs, which is being worked on (occasionally) as we speak and will hopefully exist. With that, let's get past these italics and into the actual letter!

If there's one thing in this realm of heroic comics I don't understand it's the use of those bloody masks that every hero and their mother wears. I'm assured they're called Domino Masks, but as an X-fan I automatically associate the word Domino with a certain X-lady with a diamond over her eyes. And even that aesthetic touch on her would be a smarter and more effective disguise than a bleedin' Domino Mask (note: no it wouldn't). I mean there's the Clark Kent argument that something obscuring your eye area can alter how you appear to people, but C'MON, these are just poor. I'm surprised that all heroes and villains that use these didn't have all their loved ones slaughtered long ago and their identities ousted BECAUSE THEY SHOULDN'T WORK.

Why am I talking about these crappy superhero accessories? Because the series I'm about to talk about (recommended by the wonderful Ryan K Lindsay, of Stinkbrown and now Weekly Crisis fame) has another bleeding character that uses one of those godforsaken tropes on our unfortunate main character. But for once, just this once, it works. Because fuck it, it fits the pulp setting and that's something, right?

Oh, and the comics about a former villain in a stylish tale of heroism and crime. By Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips. And you need to read it. Because it's Incognito. And it's BRILLIANT.

Another wraparound cover? Oh realm of comics, you do spoil me so!

By now you're acclimatised to the template I attempt to follow here (unless you're new here in what case WHAT THE FUCK?! I CAN GET NEW READERS?!) so I can jump straight into a misguided attempt to explain the comic's plot to you in my incoherent manner. Incognito is the tale of a world where Pulp heroes have existed for AAAAAAAGES,and more specifically of Zack Overkill, former twin villain and at the beginning of our story in the witness protection program and on power-blocking drugs following the death of his brother and giving testimony about The Black Death, a creepy ass motherflipper of a criminal with an origin rooted in a weird meteor thing that made him and two others the first super-powered heroes back in the 1930s.

*inhale* That make any sense? No? Ah well. CONTINUE!

Anyway, after finding himself bored to all sorts of levels of shit Zack starts to experiment in illegal drugs, which interfere with the power-blocking drugs and return his super strength. Taking this as an opportunity to finally experience joy again by going out in a Domino mask (ugh) and being a vigilante (because villainous stuff would REALLY fuck with his parole ya see). Then as per the norm in this sort of tale shit hits the fan and it is discovered by Black Death and his compatriots that Zack is still alive and a manhunt begins. There's also some other stuff to do with a woman with a fucked-up costume fetish, a sub-plot to do with Zack's sole friend and confidant in his new life, and a plot about a lovely filthy woman who never ages and used to shack up with Zack's twin (which is all very weird but very captivating).

These captions and images are going to be hard. I mean I can't show or say too much without spoiling the comic in some way. So just look at them and enjoy the writing and pretty, pretty art.

And that's all there really is to say about this plot-wise (because I'm awful at this). It's not simple in the slightest to an idiot like me but it does everything perfectly and keeps ya coming back to read it again and again. Something that helps this greatly is the tone, which treads a careful line between bitterly dark and tongue in cheek. I suppose that technically makes this a black comedy but I think that'd be a bit much of a push towards 'funny' over 'tongue in cheek'. I mean it's got stuff in it that'll make you smirk and it has an edge of satire to how some elements of the story play out, but it's never in spite of the comic's dignity and that's what really matters, isn't it?

I'm losing track of what I'm saying now (isn't that always the way?) so let's talk about the immensely awesome creative team involved in this. Because that's what you kids like right? Me sucking on the genitals of my Gods? RIGHT?

Propping up a wall at a party. Zack is more like the readership than anyone will ever truly admit.

Ed Brubaker is Ed Brubaker. You know him. The guy who does the rarely anything less than brilliant Captain America, the critically loved Criminal series, Catwoman, some AWESOME Batman material, Books of Doom and my personal favourite of his recent materials, X-Men: Deadly Genesis (mostly because it led to one of the only good Uncanny X-Men stories EVER, Rise & Fall of the Shi'ar Empire). If you can honestly say you haven't read anything by him then you're either missing out big-time or a crazed republican who's only reading this to see if I suddenly break into a teabag related rant. Which I won't, because my tea is usually of the iced variety from Liptons... Wait, what? *ahem* Uh.... derailed myself here. Just gonna go get some Liptons Iced Tea...

... What? A to Z? Really? Okay. Yeah, Ed Brubaker is someone you really should have heard of with a great body of works and some stuff I genuinely love, with this particular title as one of the best he's ever done. Capable of depth and touches beyond what you'd find on the first read through, he has talents that make nearly every single one of his works worth reading twice. His writing of characters is particularly strong here, with everyone having a distinct and notable voice throughout, something that runs across every title of his I've read.

Sean Phillips is another name you should really know, and not just for his frequent collaborations with Brubaker on titles such as this and the Criminal series. No, you should also know him for a decent body of work across 2000AD and Judge Dredd Megazine, WildC.A.T.S. and of course Marvel Zombies 1 & 2. In fact Sean Phillips is the reason I'm reading comics again, alongside Robert Kirkman (but if pressed I'll always mention Phillips first). Yes that's right, if you go back a year and some you'd find me reading a friend's copy of Marvel Zombies and being absolutely FLOORED by the visuals. It made me want to read more comics, with Marvel Zombie 2 only heightening that want. Without Sean Phillips I would literally not be here today, with some iced tea, writing about how much I love Sean Phillips for pulling me into a world so amazing that I want to be more and more integrated into it every day. This man, as some might say, is the shit. Any praise he gets is well deserved and I will gladly read anything he puts out, and (probably) enjoy it immensely. This is no exception, with art so tantalisingly gorgeous that I actually have to just stop and look at some panels and pages and take it all in. There are many an artist this talented, but only this one who I owe so much to.

No I'm not providing context for this image. Because without it it's infinitely more amazing than the already entertaining reason for him being in a Santa suit.

Of course the talent isn't limited to the comic itself. No, Incognito also happens to feature some excellent articles on pulp heroes by the exceedingly articulate Jess Nevins, whom some of you may well know for doing the unofficial annotations for Alan Moore's League of Extraordinary Gentlemen series. These articles bring up some classic characters that are worth reading him delve into at length, especially when two of them are Doc Savage and FU MANCHU. They're as notable a part of this series as the actual comic itself and whet the appetite somewhat for his forthcoming Encyclopaedia of Pulp Heroes.

I'm trying to speak as to the quality of this comic but honestly if I say too much I ruin the experience, as can be the case with a lot of plot-heavy comics like this. Rest assured that it's a quality experience and worth the attention of every single one of you and more, as it feels like a truly unique experience that can't be captured anywhere else by anyone else. It has atmosphere up the caboose and every element of the comic comes together almost perfectly. Zack is a very different protagonist/anti-hero sort who you genuinely feel attached too no matter what is revealed about him, his past or anything he does over the course of the story. In fact they continue to add layers to the character that make him the sort of complex character that so many other comics lack. The supporting cast is diverse and captivating and maintain their own elements that make each cast member worth keeping an eye on throughout, as they all show the sort of elements so crucial to decent character work that people should come to expect from comics nowadays (yet are so often denied by the lesser comic books out there).

... Yeah this is basically how all women talk to me too. In fact the only real difference here is that Zack is employed and ripped his car door of his hinges. And isn't fat and bloated.... Okay actually it's VERY different but shut up.

If I've managed to convince you to check out this series in any way then I implore you to get the issues for the bonus Jess Nevins content (which is sadly lacking from the tpb), though if you really prefer to buy trades (as I tend to) you still get some small bonus content in the form of an introduction by Bill Hader. You can probably track down the issues from either your Local Comic Shop or at various online sites, and of course the tpb is on amazon and readily available for you to order once I've finished typing this sentence.

Now I'm off to hide in a corner over my inability to write these articles with any sense of competence and drink more iced tea. Because that's what happens at 1am. I hide and drink tea.

And that's I. What's J?... Oh wait you know it's Robert Kirkman's Jubilee. Shut up.

A to Z: The Checklist

2010-02-21T23:28:00.009Z

A to Z checklist:

A: Ambush Bug by Keith Giffen & Robert Loren Fleming (done)
B: Bakuman by Takeshi Obata & Tsugumi Ohba (done)
C: Chew by John Layman & Rob Guillory (done)
D: Dial H for Hero by Jim Mooney, Dave Wood & Others (done)
E: Elephantmen by Richard Starkings & Others (done)
F: Fantastic Four/Iron Man: Big In Japan by Zeb Wells & Seth Fisher (done)
G: Gintama by Hideaki Sorachi (done)
H: The Hood: Blood From Stones by Kyle Hotz & Brian K. Vaughan (done)
I: Incognito by Ed Brubaker & Sean Phillips (done)
J: Jubilee by Robert Kirkman & Derec Donovan (done)
K: Kinetic by Allan Heinberg, Kelley Puckett & Warren Pleece (done)
L: Lost Girls by Alan Moore & Melinda Gebbie (DONE)
M: Metal Men by Duncan Rouleau
N: Nomad: Girl Without A World by Sean Mckeever & David Baldeon

O: Othello by Satomi Ikezawa
P: [SECRET]
Q: Quasar by Mark Gruenwald & Others
R: Rookies by Masanori Morita
S: Shaman King by Hiroyuki Takei
T: Thunderbolts by Kurt Busiek
U: Ultimate Muscle by Yudetamago
V: Vengeance of the Moon Knight by Gregg Hurwitz & Others
W: WANTED! by Eiichiro Oda
X: [SECRET]
Y: YuYu Hakusho by Yoshihiro Togashi
Z: [SECRET]

A to Z: H is for (the) Hood: Blood From Stones!

2010-02-14T20:20:00.036Z

H already?! I'm a madman! we've officially passed the first line of that kid's song about the alphabet! And it's still not very good. As nature intended.

There are some comics that you just plain can't write about without there being the risk of your material becoming a ridiculous hate speech influenced by bias and a great dislike for something involved. Moreso if you're writing about an amazing gem that was glanced at by someone and warped beyond the original image by that specific someone.

So I shall try NOT to reference my dislike for how Brian Michael Bendis warped The Hood for his own needs in the perfect case of 'Square Peg, Round Hole' character utilisation since... ever, and indeed just try to let you all know what an excellent comic this Marvel MAX miniseries is and how well-crafted and captivating the cast and storyline are.

Because this is The Hood: Blood From Stones, and if you haven't read it you're CRAZY.

For those of you who don't know, The Hood: Blood From Stones was a 6-issue MAX miniseries that turned the super-human origin story on its head, giving a no-good scumbag (likeable though he may well be) who admires supervillains powers through unusual circumstances and watching him decide that with great power comes great opportunity to be an excellent criminal.

Actually that's an incredibly vague way of explaining this story, let's try that again. Parker Robbins is the son of a small-time crook who worked for the Kingpin and died. His mother is in a vegetative state, he cheats on his wife with a hooker and he has a child on the way. Oh and he admires supervillains and the amount of women they pull with their bad boy antics. One night his cousin and best friend John King convinces him to help steal what he's been told are valuable good in a warehouse. Of course that isn't the case, as it turns out to be a warehouse with a freakish demon in it. One that Parker supposedly shoots dead to protect his cousin. Taking the demon's hooded cloak and chunky boots as some sort of recompense for the bust being less than lucrative and moves on. He lives a happy life of adultery and nothing interesting ever happens to him again....

This guy's a perfectly reasonable demon to find in your average warehouse late in the night. I mean I have a similar one in my shed, so why not a warehouse?

BUT WAIT! That's not true at all. Later that evening some thugs down an alley and try to steal some shoes off of Parker. In response Parker throws them into the face of his assailants and runs, trying to get the demon's boots on along the way. Once the boots are on he disappears from the thug's sights and into the air. Because as you can probably figure out, these boots are made for flying. Sensing opportunity beckoning he shows John King his awesome boots and learns that the cloak makes him invisible whilst holding his breath (by getting suckerpunched in the stomach by his alcoholic cousin of course). With this revelation of convenient powers in hand they plan to steal some blood diamonds, which leads to all sorts of hell breaking loose involving a cop murder, the Golem and one of my favourite characters in comics, the Constrictor. But to explain all that would not only take too long but also spoil far too much of what is one of the best comics to come out of the largely mediocre Marvel Max line.
I don't really need a joke caption here, the panels really float on their own merits here. *rimshot* Sorry, I'll hit myself.

If that's not enough to make you realise this comic is amazing, it probably helps that this convenient rambling template I use to write these articles follows up the synopsis by explaining what there is to love about the comic.

To say that Brian K. Vaughan is a talented writer is a complete understatement and indeed the full extent of his talent is something obvious to just about any comic fan who's read Runaways, Y: The Last Man, Deus Ex Machina, X-Men Icons: Chamber or indeed this very comic I'm writing about. The man has chops, especially when focused on character development or anything remotely mysterious, making both aspects of his works completely captivating and keeping the reader clinging onto their... wherever they're sitting until he's finished whatever story he's telling. The Hood: Blood From Stones may not be his perfect work, but it easily stands shoulder to shoulder with every other series I've just mentioned in this paragraph.

"Like a character that gets viciously raped by another writer years later?" NO BAD MAX, DROP THE GRUDGE!

Kyle Hotz is really the talent that completes this work and makes it worthy of the highest praise. I can't speak much for his other works, but the art he provided for both Hood miniseries are some of the best pencils I've seen in comics. It's all very animated (a term that doesn't make much sense in what is ostensibly a static medium) and almost cartoony (another term that yadda yadda yadda) whilst still being perfectly suited to what is indisputably a dark as all hell story. In fact considering that the only other work of his that I've read outside of the Hood stuff is Annihilation Conquest: Wraith, another series stooped in darkness, it's probably safe to consider that Hotz is ideally suited to dark, atmospheric works that don't reduce themselves to being purely grim, gritty and visually boring, like so many other dark comic series. Where he truly excels is in his renditions of the Hood in full costume and the supervillains shown within. Constrictor is of course my favourite example of Hotz's artistry, being a character that when drawn right is excellent in his design.

"I mean, Jack here's so human he lost his head completely when he met the Punisher!"... No, that's not a very good joke either...

In fact that's another reason to love this book: the side characters. Choosing who to use in a story like this can define what sort of tone will come across; if you use A-list villains you're either reaching too high or your comic will come across as very assuming, believing the comic deserves such highly popular characters. On the other hand, using Paste-Pot Pete just means you don't even care if your ancillary characters look like jokes. The choices here are nice and simple, obscure(ish) characters that are either classics (Jack O'Lantern) or characters that are middle of the road C-listers (Constrictor, Shocker). It's the sort of angle that suits introducing a new character into the Marvel Universe without it being incredibly forced, like so many failed characters before him. I mean it took years until The Hood came up again, as an anti-hero type in BEYOND! but that's beside the point.

Hopefully I've been showing you the upside(-down) of The Hood.... GOD DAMN IT WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY JOKES TODAY?!

Anyway, I'm having trouble keeping on track. The comic is full of interesting moments (most of which I'm desperately trying not to spoil, as you really have to encounter them yourselves) that have the capacity to blow your socks off. Of course if you don't wear socks often like me you really need to be careful or you'll actually just straight-up lose your feet. Which makes it hard to walk, sure, but at least you'll still be able to sit down with your copy of The Hood: Blood From Stones.

Which you should buy. Now. Oh look a link to where you could buy it. Amazing.

Note: The Hood: Blood From Stones does not in fact blow off your feet, that would be pretty much impossible. But it IS awesome.

Okay that's H. Which is a bit different than the norm but hey hopefully you enjoyed reading it. What's I gonna be? I... ACTUALLY KNOW! It'll be fun and confusing to read when it's out!

Kinda-Sorta Primer: The Great Unknown by Duncan Rouleau

2010-02-13T23:32:00.036Z

Every now and then there's a series that needs a simple plug. Whether it's something with ailing sales that's truly upsetting to see falter and die or a series that comes out with such ridiculous gaps between issues that it risks dropping out of the comic-reading consciousness before it's even over, as is the case with this comic.

Now usually, as we all know, a comic that comes out infrequently is usually related to horribly unprofessional creative teams or debilitating health issues, but every once in a while it's because the creator has more important obligations to maintain, such as Duncan Rouleau's focus on the television show Ben 10.

But as with all delays this one has come to an end and the series I'm priming you on (as far as I understand the concept) is returning in all its glory in April, and I could NOT be more stoked. This series is a gem of a concept from Rouleau and deserves everyone's attention when issue 3 (of 5) hits the stands. So I've taken it upon myself to fill you in on plot, characters and attractive qualities of the series in the hope you jump on board, at least for the eventual (EVENTUAL being the key word) trade that will one day come out.

So with that allow me to tell you all about THE GREAT UNKNOWN.

... after the jump.

JUMP WITH ME INTO THE GREAT UNKNOWN!

What is The Great Unknown?
A comic full of BRIGHT ideas! AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA! Oh GOD someone please stop me making bad jokes! PLEASE!
A 5-issue miniseries written and illustrated by Duncan Rouleau (Metal Men, Ben 10, The Nightmarist), with two issues out at current, The Great Unknown follows Zach Feld, genius inventor/drunken slacker who, when not inebriated and accusing people of a lesser mental station of sleeping with their sisters, constantly attempts to successfully patent any of his million dollar ideas. The only issue is that someone ALWAYS beats him to the punch, no matter what idea he has. His family all perceive him as a hopeless case, to the extent of trying to stage a televised intervention (which our protagonist attempts to run the hell away from). And then out of the blue a mysterious man comes to him with information on who is stealing his ideas, a mysterious corporation called 'iMind'. A mysterious man he's seen before, back in his days as a college student. It also doesn't help that he discovers iMind is auctioning off his ideas to the highest bidder.

Oh and there's some stuff with his ex-girlfriend who used him as part of a book she wrote because he's an inconsiderate drunken arsehole. But then he's MY sort of inconsiderate drunken arsehole so I can't berate him for THAT.

Who are the characters?
Zachary Feld: Our main character and general charming motherflipper (AHAHAHA I FIT FLIP INTO A NEW WORD!), despite generally being a hopeless layabout with a genius intellect. In fact that intellect is described as basically being able to perceive 100 courses of action and working out which takes the least amount of effort. He's also a repulsive drunk who vomits more oft than not and has poor relationships with his ex and his family, due to his abrasive nature. Currently trying to figure out why and how iMind are stealing his genius ideas.

Zebediah 'lil hitler' Feld: Stumpy older brother of Zach and long-term sufferer of his brother's drunken antics. Has a wife called Julie. Appears to want to help Zach with the whole televised intervention antics, but could it be possible that he bears a grudge against Zach for years of brotherly torment? The nickname 'lil Hitler' doesn't exactly inspire confidence in him either.

Momma and Poppa Feld (as I deign to call them): The parents of Zach and Zeb, who have finally grown tired of their younger sons antics and have called out a cable television show for the sake of an intervention. Which makes them weird arseholes. But are they arseholeish enough to steal their sons ideas to sell at iMind?

Buchiner: Mysterious mustachioed man who revealed to Zach the existence of iMind. Was present back in the days Zach was a teaching assisstant/student at college. Wasn't too pleasant back then and spoke with Zach's professor as to getting Zach onto 'their side' (presumably iMind's). Guilt appears to have caught up with him recently due to his revelation to Zach, but could he really be one of the idea stealers, or just a bidder/client for them on the iMind website? Also, he's dead now.

Penny Lee: Ex-girlfiend of Zach who believes she wasted three years of her life with a lazy fool who is full of unfulfilled promises. Currently a popular author with a book based heavily on how much of an arse Zach is. Probably hasn't stolen any of Zach's ideas, simply because this comic needs a love interest, and there's a sadness to her attitude towards him now. An attitude that also involved getting him thrown out of trendy clubs.

Futurehead: Start-up company by neighbours who just so happen to have the iMind lightbulb in their banner. That's not suspect at all right? Also have a crappy slogan that doubles as their internet password. Probably misdirection, but who knows?

iMind: Evil group that sells stolen ideas on what is essentially their own ebay for intellectual properties. Hate them. SEETHE WITH HATE.

What's there to like about The Great Unknown?

The art. Duncan Rouleau is a genuine comics talent, with vibrant art that goes beyond the norm. everything is perfectly laid out and creatively drawn, from weirdly pretty vomit (seriously that stuff is freakishly well drawn) to what has to be the most well-drawn upside-down person I've ever seen. Which is weird praise but seriously, that upside-down Zach is so well drawn that it's replaced Chamber in my banner (something that I'm sure is mildly surprising to anyone who knows me).
The writing. It's a complete understatement to call Rouleau's writing on this anything other than incredibly verbose and intricate. Even at its most basic it chock-full of interesting statement after interesting statement, never losing your attention for a second. You seriously cannot find a comic that talks at this length without becoming boring as all hell. THIS is the exception. And maybe Rouleau's Metal Men, but I'm waiting on that to arrive in the mail at the moment.
The colours. This really falls under art again but it bears seperate mention. The Great Unknown is largely multiple shade of blue, but the colour theme will change to suit various locales or situations (e.g. red for a flashback, a yellowish-orange for the bar interior at the start of the comic, etc.). It's a little touch that keeps the comic captivating and your eyes gooey with veritable glee.
The opening three pages. All comics need a quality opener, and this manages that with a brilliantly scripted scene of Zach giving a helluva speech to his assailants (something that has not yet occurred within the story yet, as Zach uses that point in time to tell us his tale of woe). Heck, just to whet your appetite for the series' return I'll show you those three pages in all their glory:

Cool stuff, ne?

And that's the comic explained to you. It isn't without its flaws, as with any comic. The lettering appears to have more than a few errors, but it's not really the sort of thing that can detract from the enjoyment of the comic. And hey, if Batman & Robin can get away with switching entire character's statements, then a small series like this can misspell a couple of things. You honestly need to check this series out, as enjoyment is guaranteed.

Also worthy of mention but not actually being shown here are the 1-page stories following each issue focusing on History's greatest arseholes. It's another example of how intelligent and witty the series is in everything it tells you.

Hopefully you enjoyed this quick Kinda-Sorta Primer and I'll update again... Soon!

A to Z: G is for Gintama

2010-02-11T21:07:00.021Z

And my attempts to write at a faster pace continue with the next A to Z entry. Yes, it's another manga, but unlike last time this one actually has volumes out. Though on the note of that last manga, it appears likely that the series will be surfacing in september. Keep an eye out, or else!

(note: all pictures read RIGHT TO LEFT)

It is a pretty widely known fact that I'm a sucker for comedy manga. Mostly the short, punchy 'gag' style manga, but generally if it's a comedy I'll jump onto it, check it out... And usually deride it as crap and not matching up to my standards set by series about such things as an orange-haired recorder-playing psychotic or a sword-wielding heroic knight who teaches homeroom at a school.

Of course there are series that match up to that high level of expectation whilst not being straight-up comedy manga, else I wouldn't be talking about one of them shortly. These tend to mix in what genre-heads like to call slice of life, a concept that is pretty self-explanatory really. The two series that pull this off to perfection are Sket Dance, a series about a support group of students who get up to crazy antics, and Gintama, the series I'm on about today.

A series about Samurai and Aliens.

... Yes. THIS is gonna take a while.

To explain Gintama is one of the most ridiculously hard things ever, which is in itself especially weird as once you've got past the initial premise it's an incredibly easy series to become immersed within. So let's have a crack at it and see how it sounds:

In a world where aliens invaded Edo (Tokyo) back in the Meiji era of Japan, resulting in a world where Samurais are outlawed and aliens rule over us all, a former samurai known as Gintoki Sakata tries to make a living as a freelancer who will literally do any odd-job given to him in an attempt to make his rent. He's joined by a former samurai-in-training Shinpachi Shimura, the incredibly violent teenage alien girl Kagura and the giant adorably vicious space-dog thing Sadaharu. The plots can range anywhere from terrorist plots, to giant cockroach infestations and all the way to heroic panty thieves and doesn't shy away from any possible craziness along the way.

That do for starters? Okay.

To be fair, I'm barely covering the bases here, especially when considering the sheer size of the regular cast throughout the series current 6 year, 32 volume history. It's daunting in scale, but thankfully has the sort of loose long-term plots that mean that a jumping off point is never more than a few volumes away once your wallet starts to weep.

Diving more into the comedy to promote this gem I feel the need to talk about a brilliant early story from the second volume of the series that introduces one of the manga regular cast members in a way you'd probably NEVER see anywhere else. Kondo, the flippin' head of the policing force known as the Shinsengumi, is introduced as a crazy stalker obsessed with Shinpachi's sister because she said she loves hairy arses (or 'butt-afros' in the english release, which is INFINITELY funnier) to him. At her job, which is essentially whoring herself out as a dinner date at a snack bar.
Let it be known: Buddha loved hairy arses too.

Stalking. Because she lied to him and said she loved BUTT. AFROS.

I'm not sure there's anything I can say to really emphasise how funny this chapter of the series is, other than to point out that it escalates to Shinpachi's sister coercing Gintoki (our silver haired main character) into pretending to be her fiancée, all escalating into a duel between Gintoki and Kondo where Gintoki cheats to win by giving Kondo a rigged wooden sword. It's all deliciously insane and it only gets crazier with each volume.

A Bandit of Love! A Gift From Above!... or something? am I funny yet?

If only all sword duels could be this slapstick and unsual. It'd make The Last Samurai nigh-on WATCHABLE!

I could talk up the ongoing serious plot elements of the samurai rebellion against the aliens and the continuing attempts to overthrow the alien empire by former members of said rebellion, but I'd much rather focus on one of the silliest things about the series, and indeed something that requires more explanation than you'd want to hear.

You see the creator, Hideaki Sorachi (who seems to draw himself as a filthy and lazy monkey), went out of his way to give this series a name that would disgust and confuse the Japanese reading public. You see, whilst Gintama is a perfectly innocent name that translates as 'Silver Soul' (in reference to our naturally permed silver-haired protagonist), it sounds an awful lot like the word 'Kintama'.

Which means TESTICLES.

Which is... ya know, a BALLSY move at best, to try and get young teenaged girls to talk about testicles on the trains, just to freak out uptight old people.

This is pretty much like every argument I'VE ever had with and old lady about rent. In that it's fictional.

I feel like I'm selling this series short. Writing about manga as long-running as this provokes the sort of confusion that no amount of bogged-down writing can solve. Which is more my fault than anything, as this series really is a charming, immersive, easy-to-get-into gem, with only a first volume of mild translation issues between it and a perfect English release. Hideaki Sorachi has crafted the sort of manga that will stand the test of time with ease, with peerless writing and an art style that's strangely serious looking for something that's about 70% straight up hilarity. You honestly lose nothing checking this out if you have any interest in manga, and gain so much if you enjoy comedy stylings that are a step more mature than gag-series like Yotsuba& or Pyuu to Fuku! Jaguar (not that you know of the latter but shut up).

If I've managed to provoke even the tiniest amount of interest then I direct you to either search out the series on amazon or to go straight to the Viz Media store to pick up a few volumes. And if you're not sure either way then I implore you to head over to OneManga to check out the online scanlations, which whilst different to the official product, are a nice way to tease the real product (a view that more people should probably take on scanlations).

And that's G. What's H going to be? H...orrible to even ATTEMPT to read? Well you have a tad longer to wait on that, as another post is gonna appear over the next day or two that'll hopefully promote something that deserves your attention.

A to Z: F is for Fantastic Four/Iron Man: Big In Japan!

2010-02-03T22:31:00.052Z

I-- I'm back to doing something that people actually appreciate, despite my rambling, impenetrable prose? Not just that, but A to Z is resuming for letters F to J? I can almost hear the sound of progression around here!

If there's any two things that go without saying in comics it is that comics are written and drawn, and rarely by invincible super-computers. In fact most of the time human beings handle these chores. One could almost say... That I'm losing my point here. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that people do comics. Some people that do comics are flippin' SUPER-PEOPLE that lovingly caress my eyes like they're two incredibly valuable yet fragile jewels made out of gunk. Two of these super-people are Zeb Wells and Seth Fisher.

Left to Right: Zeb Wells, Seth Fisher

Zeb Wells is a writing monster, capable of creating things that are fairly standard concepts elevated to the most enthralling levels. Think Mark Millar without the fame, occasional bad material, delayed works, crippling disease or crazily basic ideas no-one else has thought of. No, wait, that sounds negative. The basic truth here is that Zeb Wells is capable of making anything exciting that he writes. From Battlin' Jack Murdock, to Amazing Spider-Man, or even all the way to his brilliant ongoing run on New Mutants, Zeb has never managed to be anything other than the best I could hope for and is up there with my favourite comic book writers of all time. If you haven't read a Zeb Wells title then the book I'm about to tell you about is the place to start. Oh yeah and he's a writer for Robot Chicken or something, but I'm not writing a cyborg poultry journal now, am I?

Seth Fisher is a much more depressing shining star of comicdom, for he was taken long before his time. Dead at 33 after a fall from a seventh story roof, Seth provided art for some of the most enticing and insane-looking comics I've ever read, like the surreal Green Lantern: Willworld, or the peculiarly charming Batman: Snow. His work is unlike anything that comes out from any penciller that currently graces the big three, going for peculiar shapes and constructs alongside swirling creations and off-kilter monsters. This comic I'm about to get to is no exception, being the best of his work that I've seen and something that you have to read at least once in your life.

But then it'd probably help to actually talk about the comic and not just the behemoths who created it. The comic (as you can tell from the title) is Fantastic Four/Iron Man: Big In Japan, and it is AWESOME.

Note to Comics companies: Wraparound covers are ALWAYS worth doing!

FF/IM: BIJ is as straightforward an idea as you'd imagine, with Iron Man and the Fantastic Four being in Japan against giant monsters and stuff. Whilst that may not sound like an epoch-making fantasy romp, the devil is in the details.... And the execution... And the characterisation... And everything else. It has a sense of scale unlike anything in comics today, humour that's purely insane (issue 2 has a three page moment that's so funny I had to stop reading for a while the first time through) and some truly captivating plot developments, largely relating to the monsters' behaviour and Mole Man's typical minions the Moloids. In fact that latter plot point is the most development that those little nigh-on blind guys have gotten in their long and fruitless history.

If you didn't even crack a smile at this bit there's seriously something wrong with you.

The overall plot summary (yes, I AM having trouble getting some flow going here, aren't I?) is that the Fantastic Four are invited over to Japan to open a museum of monsters and such, years after monster attacks finally ceased in Japan and during a tour of the museum's facilities Tony Stark appears, interested in a merger. Then of course the requisite insanity breaks loose and the monsters go on the rampage. Whilst everyone else is trying to contain the monstrous threat, Reed manages to get his hands on some monster vocal chords from a mummified corpse and communicates with one of the creature using his expanded lung capacity. Which is exactly as insane as you'd imagine.

"Hey Stretcho, look at me! I'm an ever-loving blue-eyed ribbon cutting Thing!"

The creature in question responds, telling Reed of the history of earth's monsters, the effect of the age of marvels on their kind and of a threat that has led to all of these monstrosities being scared to death and rampaging throughout Japan. With that in mind the Fantastic Four, Iron Man (in requisite ski gear ON HIS ARMOUR) and the museum curator (who of course has the natural ability to be as shifty and insane as a flapjack on a buttered piece of bacon-flavoured cake... which is quite shifty and insane) head off to the north pole to find and deal with this looming threat. A threat that turns out to be a massively huge virus-like monster who look unlike ANYTHING I've ever seen, with multiple faces, innards like a crazed maze and fingers larger than entire clusters of skyscrapers. Oh and it tears through the universe and almost obliterates the fourth wall. Oh yeah, the magical words: the fourth wall.

"Hey, Ben! Keep covering my eye-holes and I'll drop your craggy hide in the ocean!"

"Shut up, Shell-head an' fly faster or blah blah blah Aunt Petunia blah!"

The monster isn't the only example of this delightful storytelling device. The layouts play a part in making you remember this is a comic book, with directions and quirky little bits to throw you into it all. Not just that but before the big yellow monstrosity is summoned the crew encounter some two-dimensional entities where you can only see them one way, and see their speech bubbles the other. They make references to 'the next page' and stuff like that, and rather than it seeming like pathetic Deadpool style insanity, it's an intense moment that builds up how awe-inspiring the moments to come are. it's 4th-wall breaking genius on par with Animal Man and Ambush Bug, in that it actually feels like it belongs within the confines of the pages. There's even a moment where Thing freaks out because his arm is ripped off by a break in the page, only to be confused in the next panel as he appears completely fine, away from the tear in their 'universe' that had appeared. It boggles the mind as to how Seth and Zeb pulled off stuff like that without it seeming cheap.

.... I don't have a joke here. I wish I did but I don't. I guess when it comes down to it my jokes fall down FLAT anyway, so why bo-.... OH! I see what I did there!.... *sigh*

Anyway, as the giant (a word that doesn't do this monster justice) yellow all--destroying goofy-looking behemoth begins its doom-laced walk, Sue Richards and Iron Man head inside its body (Sue using a genius move that I'll poke at in a bit). As they ascend to the brain to try and deal with it who else but the master of monsters MOLE MAN appears, looking weirdly slim and riding a flying monster doodad. He tells the rest of the team to join him in heading to Monster Island to aid him and they comply, leading to another shift in the story that is truly awe-inspiring (am I running out of complimentary words?): the Moloids have stopped obeying Mole Man and are preparing themselves with some sort of weird machine for an unknown purpose. One Moloid still stands by Mole Man, which is saddening in that Mole Man doesn't even consider it a person, or even worthy of a name. After showing Reed and co. around the island a shocking discovery is made. One that I'll actually just straight-up SHOW you:

A GIANT SYRINGE! Also this is an example of how great the cutaway art is in the book, showcasing the innards of whatever it's cutting into.

Convenient, isn't it? Turns out the needle will inject the Moloids into the big yellow guy and turn him inside out, something they do very efficiently with the aid of the Human Torch's amazing ability to... Boil water. This defeats the monster who bounds off into space never to be seen again... At least never to be seen again the right way round. All this plus the moment where the last of the moloids are being shot up into the monster, including the one remaining loyal one, leading to Mole Man breaking down in sheer misery, calling out that he had a name for the loyal Moloid: Noah. Weirdly touching in that weirdest of ways. Then blah blah blah awesome ending, everyone is fine that matters and the creative team appear to declare it the end of the series.

There's a ton more little things that I could point out or tell you about the series to assure you of its impeccable quality, but that would ruin far too much of the book for you and remove the joy in finding every little thing about it that makes it worth tracking down. But hopefully from what I've told you about it you'll be able to swallow my statement that THIS is one of the few creative teams that put the Fantastic Four at their finest (and a fun Iron Man too), presenting the sort of epic and quirky story that you'd expect from a series that had such moments as Dr. Doom trying to steal Blackbeard's treasure, The Impossible Man's first appearance and a multiverse of Reed's trying to solve EVERYTHING. I mean there are three writers I equate with excellent Fantastic Four stories at the moment, and they are Stan Lee, Jonathan Hickman and Zeb Wells. And the art is so different in this story and, dare I say it, unique that it fully lives up to what Jack Kirby believed the Kirby Tradition was (to create something different, in case you were wondering).

Not just that, but the attention to little details that make the book more complete help rocket this to the pinnacle of Fantastic Four books, from Iron Man in a wooly hat and goggles to Thing doing a beat'em-up style 99 hit combo on a monster, to a scale image of the big yellow monster's finger, all the way to Sue Richards compressing air into one of the best makeshift costumes possible (and indeed one that allows her to breathe inside the big yellow monster). It's all pitch-perfect use of the format and I can say that all of it was a pleasure to read. It's an incredibly hard miniseries to top and I look forward to anything that betters it in the future.

But listen to me ramble, I'm sure you'd rather I just shut up so you can read something more worthwhile (like the actual TPB), so I'll start wrapping up. The trade itself has a wealth of additional material that I'm not picturing, such as a ton of notes from Seth about changes and details, granting insight into the creative process, and examples of some of Zeb's layouts and how they were transformed into the pages of the actual comic. It's all amazing stuff and a reminder of how much work goes into a comic book. And once you make it all the way to the back you get the best bonus of them all: the Seth-drawn story from Spider-Man Unlimited that apes Jackass, with a bunch of thrill-seeking idiots attempting to imitate heroes in hilarious and immature styles to entertain us all to hilarious effect (it's really worth mentioning the final page of the story that is the funniest way any trade has EVER ended for me, and how it involves silver paint, a parachute and a surfboard).

So I leave you to mull over what I've said on this gem, the best series I've mentioned so far on A to Z, and implore you to track it down and feast on the gooey goodness within. I got it for £9.00 new, so I can only assume that through the power of the internet you can beat that and more. And remember, always follow your Moloid exercise routine!

Work those scrawny limbs you devilish underground thingymadoodles, you!

[Get the trade HERE and check out an interesting little interview Newsarama did with Zeb and Seth HERE]

and that's F. What could G be? G...enerally quite uninteresting?.... Yes.

Top Ten: Covers of 2009 [To me, at least]

2009-12-24T00:03:00.024Z

Last post before Christmas, mainly because I have a much bigger thing to work on that needs doing, but also because CHRISTMAS! So enjoy, and see you back here in a couple of days. NO WAIT READ THE ARTICLE!

Oh, top lists of the year/decade, do you ever end? No? Shame, as most of you are hopelessly generic and pander to a mainstream view of what deserves to be placed in a top ten. And as we've all learned I'm the sort of idiot who will be the only person to vote something as the number 1 comic book storyline, so take from that what you will.

Anyway, here's one of my requisite lists of ____ of the year, with a basic twist. What twist you may ask? Well, I'll tell you:

This year was the first full year I've been back into comics.

So much of this year has been shaped by the various things to do with comics that affected me, and something that decided what comics I would in fact read was often the covers. In fact you could say that comic covers defined what comics I would be into and what sort of comics fan I would become (though in the end aren't we all just angry comic book nerds?). So it's with a head held high that I highlight some of the ten most important covers to my formation as a comic fan this year.

So let's dive in to one of my most important and insightful top tens that is purely about what I like and what shaped me rather than any critical opinion by HITTING THE BLEEDING JUMP!

WHICH IS THIS. THIS IS THE BLEEDIN' JUMP!

10. X-Factor #200 by Esad Ribic

This one's actually a little sneaky. I mean it just came out. But its significance isn't any smaller than the others on this (for once totally in a ranked order) list. As soon as I saw this cover in the solicits I was reminded of why I love X-Factor, why the new direction would be nothing to worry about, and why Esad Ribic is one of the best artists about. My year of full integration into comics suddenly had clarity on how the whole comics industry has the capability to both be art AND captivate in the way only good exciting imagery can. But outside of all that boring personal stuff this is really just a flippin' awesome cover and deserved a mention whilst it's still easy enough to buy in everyone's local comic shop.

9. The Great Unknown #2 by Duncan Rouleau

In a perfect world this would be issue 3, but that NEVER CAME OUT. Still, it WAS this issue that made me realise that independent comics could be awesome, even if it was the next issue image that really sunk that idea into my brain. This cover is beautiful and captivating in its simplicity (as is issue 1, but that's not the example here) and is a great draw in to a great comic if you let it absorb you in the blueness. Also light bulbs!

8. Mighty Avengers #27 50s Decade Variant by Howard Chaykin

I HATE HOWARD CHAYKIN. He's quite a shit artist. In fact he ruined Punisher War Journal for me. Like RUINED. Completely and utterly fucked up what would otherwise have been really enjoyable. So when it came to seeing one of the many brilliant decade variants (seriously I could have done a list just of those) it was with a massive amount of shame that I realised how much I loved this cover. It taught the valuable lesson that no matter how much you hate something there will always be something good to do with them. Like, really good. Same goes for Bendis (ooh deja vu. No seriously not about moaning about Bendis, moreso this entire sentence *ahem* anyway), Loeb and Liefeld (the latter of which ACTUALLY KILLED ME WHEN I REALISED). So yeah, for the sheer importance of this cover, it gets to make it onto this list! That and Hank Pym and Jocasta are adorable in this. Adorable is a manly word right? Good. MOVING ON!

7. Black Panther #3 by J. Scott Campbell

This is a hard one to make sound deep. Because it isn't. No, this is just an example of how one beautiful cover can make me buy something I'd never otherwise touch. And boy was it worth touching. Cover art is a powerful draw and sometimes just being beautiful can be enough to make people pick up something that whilst not life-changing can still influence their interests in a significant way. In fact this cover in particular should have been on the front of the hardcover. Maybe then it'd have sold loads and volume 2 would be a hardcover too (hint: no it wouldn't have been but I'm just destroyed by the lack of HC for volume 2).

6. Superman #686 by Andrew Robinson (I think?)

I can't say I even liked the idea of superman outside of his awesome tv stuff from the 90s (animated, Lois and Clark) at any point ever, so when I say that I love the Superman title now to anyone who's known me long enough it's fairly normal to expect them to be surprised. Then I follow it up by pointing out that Mon-El and the Guardian are the main characters now and they just blink, confused. Still that's not the point (especially now I LOVE Superman, especially Kryptonite and All-Star), the point here is that this cover pulled me into the world of both these obscure characters and I have yet to look back, simply because my GOD is Mon-El awesome in this picture. And in fact the whole series. This is just the incredibly pretty point that pulled me in.

5. Lockjaw & the Pet Avengers #1 by Karl Kerschl

... *ahem* LOOK AT THE ICKLY ANIMALS THEY'RE SO LOVELY I WANT TO TAKE THEM HOME AND CALL THEM ALL SNUGGLES AND LOOK AFTER THEM AND FEED THEM AND HOPE THAT THE SABER-TOOTHED TIGER DOESN'T KILL ME!

.... What? That's not fine logic? Well how about the fact that.... SHUT UP!

4. X-Men Noir #3 by Dennis Calero

When most people bring up how they discovered a love for white space covers they'll usually mention Immortal Iron Fist's covers by David Aja. Well screw those people, because I learnt what I wanted from a cover from this. Which is white space, low detail and a weird amount of depth to the image. In this case we have Eric Magnus, the X-Noir universe's Magneto and Chief of Police, showing his darkness, his brutal abuse of authority and sick pleasure in such an abuse of authority(amongst other things) in just a single image. It's awesome with layers. What more could you want?

3. Detective Comics #855 by JH Williams III

Oh as IF Detective Comics wouldn't make it onto this list. There's nothing much to say about this than that everyone ever thinks that JH Williams has made this series into art and the covers are the definitive proof of this. Especially this one which just hit me straight in the face and the bruise of artsy love has yet to fade. Wait... Is that almost a metaphor for spousal abuse? Man, I should stop writing before I put my foot in my mouth by saying something about kitchen's and sammiches.

... Except I have two more to list.

2. All New Savage She-Hulk 90s Decade Variant by Juan Doe

Wait, this seems familiar. Didn't I declare this my favourite example of a good comic cover a long, long time ago? I DID?! AND I STAND BY IT?! GOOD GOD WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!

No joke though, whilst my opinions from back then are mostly redundant, this stands as an example of a cover just blowing me away and holds a helluva place in my heart that no other comic cover will replace. Yet it's in at #2. So perhaps I should shut upa and just say that it kicks all sort of arse and is the best decade variant Marvel did this year. That and the obvious significance here is that it's one of the first covers I ever wrote about and the fact that it has continued to stay amazing to me (probably because of said early blog usage) has earnt it its place at #2.

#1. Nomad #3 by Rafael Albuquerque
Well, if you've been around the site long enough (and none of you have) you all know why this is here. I am a MASSIVE fanboy of Rikki Barnes. In fact I'm a massive fanboy of Lyra too, explaining this top two (And of Batwoman... Wait is this a pattern?). That and this is amazing. All the covers to this limited series are, utilising Red, White and Blue to great effect to make covers that arrest the eyes. This one wins out over everything ever though for actually having the ability to make me just stare at it mindlessly for ages. But as we all know, the real reason this is here is because Rikki Barnes has been a crucial part of this blog's history and her Nomad series just happened to have flippin' amazing covers. I can't emphasise how much this has been a part of my first year back in comics and just how much I like this cover. So I won't. I'll just finish this post.

Honourable mentions go to Ambush Bug: Year None #6 (never came out but by GOD is it pretty), all the covers to Chew (which I learned of too late so didn't count really) and about a million others. Now I must sleep. HARD.

A to Z: E is for Elephantmen

2009-12-23T23:21:00.006Z

Okay, so we've reached the end of the first handful of A to Z (one for each digit!), and it's been a much longer journey than I expected. Still it's quick to read and a great insight into the developing insanity that is my mind. And so with said insanity in mind let us delve into the article!

This time around I'm jumping into territory that is so foreign to me that I had to refer to research materials multiple times just reading the first volume of the series. However that can only improve what is basically the 'newcomer's approach' that has occasionally been called the style of these articles by... I don't know, some people. This series comes as a suggestion from Kirk Warren of The Weekly Crisis, and I both want to thank and throttle him at the same time.

Why? Because this is one of the most rewarding comics out there, but moreso one of the most confusing. Mainly because it's a spin-off apparently, but still. Oh you want me to do that normal thing where after the introduction I say what the comic is?

... It's Elephantmen.

Now, this installment has some notes to get out of the way before I get all snooty on your arses about how great it is, so let's hit those on the head here and now. First and foremost is that this is in fact a spin-off from a series called Hip Flask, that starred the titular character and addressed the existence of the Elephantmen and so on. It's a good series by the look of it and worth it to save on having to waste time researching like I did with this comic. Secondly the entire basis of this is the first volume (7 issues) so there's a fair chance that the comic gets better or worse as time passes. Got it? You sure? Okay.

Who are the Elephantmen? Well, I'll tell you. They're the genetically spliced monstrosities created by the crazed Japanese head of the MAPPO corporation in Africa. At some point in the recent past they were trained soldiers and killers and now finally have their own independence and lives in the slightly grim future that they live in... which is the present. I'm fairly sure I just made professional writers cry at how poorly I explained that. But that's not the point. The point is that there are Human/Animal hybrids living out there in the general populace with their own personalities, souls and purposes, just wanting to live their lives in their own particular ways. Of course there's the typical racism that comes form being different and threatening, but that's just framing to the actual point of the stories in these first 7 issues. The main point is just to episodically give you a taste of each individual character and prepare you for whatever future events may come from them. Oh and there's a Hip Flask story running all through it, but I'll get to that.
The aesthetics of the series is very Bladerunner-esque, with that semi-dystopian feel where it's obviously not a good future, but it's still somehow an incredibly pretty one. And to cap this weirdly serious caption HOOTERS! WOOOOO!.. Or something. I don't think we have those here in Blighty, so any reaction might well be stilted.

If there's an obvious problem with this series (other than it being pretty confusing for the first few issues) it's how differently you'll feel for each character. Not necessarily in that the different emotions they provoke is bad (after all, variety is the spice of life) but rather that some focus characters will provoke empathy and immediate enjoyment of their plight or story and others will just fall flat. All ensemble stories carry this risk but the stark contrast between Ebony Hide (awesome) and, say, the crocodile guy is so huge that you lose so much interest in reading the next issue. This is subverted by each issue usually containing two stories in a fair ratio, but there's always that risk that a future issue will contain two bad stories and make you feel like you've been summarily ripped off.

Finally (if only because this is REALLY hard to write about and I have so much other stuff to move onto) I feel the need to mention issue 7, which is genius to me. The issue is framed by a young girl who befriended the elephant character Ebony Hide wanting to be taken to the hospital to see him after an incident and the hippo Hip Flask talking her down and telling her a story about a pirate. Except it's evidently not a pirate story, it's a part of his past masked as this story. The parts that make this clever instead of the normal cliché that these stories tend to be is that it is presented 100% as a brilliant pirate story that visually, and indeed in how it is laid out with the text and everything, is like a BRILLIANT children's book. I'm to understand that the creator of the Elephantmen did graphic design stuff prior to the series such as fonts and logos and the like, so I shouldn't be surprised by how amazing this is, but it took out my mind and replaced it with a pleasant jelly as I read the issue. Observe:

I best wrap this up, simply because this is more nonsensical and I don't even know what I'm going on about now but trust me when I say you should pick this up and if you don't you're STUPID. Or at least as easily confused as me with less intent to research like a hopeless comics whore.

You can pick up the Hip Flask stuff HERE and the first volume I used for this review HERE

That's E, what's F? F...lippin' hard to write about? No. No it's much easier to ramble about. You'll love it.

A to Z: D is for Dial H for H-E-R-O

2009-12-08T17:17:00.024Z

UPDATE: Primewax now has his piece up about the recent H-E-R-O series. It's great stuff and more than worth reading. Head over there NOW and read it immediately to understand how very different the two series are!

This almost became a write-off before it begun, due to one problem or another. Thankfully the brilliant Primewax (who I do believe is writing about the fairly recent remake soon, which I'll link to when it appears) came through with a series I could do as a joke. And of course because I'm unfunny as hell I actually got my hands on the series and here we are, with you reading me writing about a comic from 1966.

Remember when I updated like 39 times in a month? Me neither.

People say originality is dead. Long gone. That all ideas are old hash reformed into something resembling life. Heck moreso that originality is so dead that DC's biggest event of the year is based on an Alan Moore Green Lantern story from about... What, 30 years ago? Well... They're right, for the most part.

The main reason for this is that we have our two biggest companies, Marvel and DC, with an infinitely long history and a veritable hoard of established things to do with their universes. It limits them to certain plots and keeps any creativity tethered to this bugbear of history that I can only refer to oversized. Sure there's the occasional original gem, like Chew or The Great Unknown (more on that one later) but you'll note those are from Image, a company with a much looser universe.

So rather than throw an unoriginal or mainstream series into the ring I'm going to delve deep into the history of DC, to the dreaded Silver Age of DC comics no less, to talk about a series that actually believed itself so original that it declared itself to have 'the most original character in history'. Yes, I'm talking about something that only a few may well know. I'm talking about DIAL H for H-E-R-O!

The series is simple enough to explain in its entirety. Running from 1966 to 1968, Dial H for H-E-R-O told the tale of Robert Reed, a young intelligent boy with a penchant for science who has a mysterious dial fall into his possession, that he learns can turn him into a superhero if he dials in H,E,R and O. The only catch is that each time the power and superhero are different (and utterly unique outside of one example). Oh and that when it's convenient (silver age logic there) the dial won' work. It's all simple enough and weirdly compelling, making for a comic that I don't think I'd have ever even thought of.

Oh and also little Robby Reed says 'SOCKAMAGEE!' ALL. THE. BLOODY. TIME. What does it even MEAN?! SOMEBODY SAVE ME FROM THIS MYSTERY!

*ahem* Er..... Moving on. Another reasons this series warrants being on this alphabet thingy is simple: the heroes themselves! I mean here's just a FEW examples from the series:

A person covered in sawblades! You know, for kids to imitate!

A Squid bloke who fires special super inks when he fingers buttons. Perverse! Also one of the inks makes a FLYING CARPET! THE HELL?!

Not uh... Not touching this one.

A complete tool who looks like a bullet!

Magneto, leader of the evil brotherhood of muta- Oh, er... Just a magnet dude called Magneto... Totally different.

A... A... *sigh* Toddler... Who can make people into midgets with the mysterious substance in his baby bottles...

And my personal favourite RADAR-SONAR MAN! A relatively useless superhero who uses radar and sonar to not fly into trees. That's right, something he could do just as well as ANYTHING ELSE! Other than perhaps the mole but let's not touch that.

... I've completely lost my point here. I mean LOOK AT THIS STUFF! Bah! Who wants originality when it's this bloody crazy?! I'd much rather stick to the safe security of generic crap that rehashes plots beaten to death as early as the 80s! It's less FREAKIN' INSANE THAT WAY! RAAAAAAAARGH!

SOCKAMAGEE!

Seriously though, a weirdly great read from 60s DC and camp as all hell. I'm not actually sure if it's collected anywhere however, so I don't really have a way to promote it to you. Still if you see it in a longbox at your Local Comic Shop or even at a boot sale, you really MUST pick it up.

That's D, what's E? E...lephantmen?... Oh it actually will be. Look forward to that.

Thoughts On: November Sales Rankings

2009-12-06T16:37:00.011Z

You know what the single most infuriating experience for the purveyor of lesser known comics is? Aside from hearing what horrible shit has been done to characters that made the jump to mainstream of course. That's right, it's seeing where the poor pitiful GOOD comics end up on that bloody top 300 each month. And yet each month we'll go back to it hoping that by some stroke of luck the series we cherish have made the jump up to the top 50.

As such it's time to analyse that crucial top 100 that has been released from Diamond Comics. And... It isn't looking good. No, not at all. Just... There's about 5 good comics in the top 30 that aren't Blackest Night related. That's AWFUL.

SO HIT THE JUMP TO SEE WHAT ELSE GETS MY GOAT THIS MONTH!

It's tempting to just list every bad comic that managed to grace the top 100 and throw my hands in the air, but that would be FAR too long a list. So instead I'll give a general coverage of the good and bad in the unstable non-structure that is my usual method of rambling. Well... with the small difference that I'll actually differentiate between one genre or subgroup and the other.

TEAM BOOKS

You know what the highest selling team book was this month? DO YOU?! JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #39. Sure, it's a tie-in to Blackest Night but C'MON THIS IS AWFUL NOWADAYS! I admit I'm looking forward to the new team (mainly because, c'mon, Mon-El, Guardian and Ray Palmer kick arse) but this has been the most unengaging material in a team book since... Well, the next series down the list (not counting the Corps, s'not really a team book to me), New Avengers.

If you read New Avengers you are either one of the most easy to entertain fucks ever, someone who thinks they're being humourously ironic by buying an awful comic (who are also fucks I might add) or people that genuinely enjoy mischaracterisation, bland plots and some of Bendis' worst work of all time. Or just fans of Stuart Immonen, in which case... Well it's better than owning some of his old Rock 'n' Roll comics material like I do so I'll forgive you. How this manages to sell so well each month is beyond me, I mean I can't say the series has ever been THAT good and it's only ever been as much as kinda pretty, even under Immonen's great hands. Perhaps the completely rape-tastic interpretation of Hood is really popular and I just don't see it because I'm stuck in the past with BKV's innovative and entertaining non-villain.

I suppose logically I could continue to deconstruct team books that are too high on the list, like Dark Avengers and Ultimate Comics Avengers, but it quickly becomes me banging my head against the wall going MOLECULE MAN ISN'T A VILLAIN AND HAS A FUCKING WIFE YOU DOLT or UC: AVENGERS IS REALLY BORING over and over, so it can't really be too healthy. That and I feel I'll turn into that fat comic book person from the Simpsons if I'm not careful, so instead I'll focus on the brilliant that isn't where it should be.

The obvious team book for me to lament not being where it belongs is Mighty Avengers. This is not only the best (read as: only good) Avengers title, but also cheaper than its Bendis-written brethren. Placing at #34 is no mean feat though, especially for the end of Slott's first decent sized arc, so with any luck the upcoming MIGHTY/DARK storyline will pick it up to where it belongs in the top 20. As for The Initiative... Well... It might get into the top 50 again at some point.

Finally, I must mention how Guardians of the Galaxy continues to slum out the bottom of the top 100. Is it not awesome enough for you all? Has there not been enough talking raccoons for you? BUY IT ANYWAY! Easily the best cosmic title and it never sells the numbers it should (note to self: you only buy the hardcovers, shut up with the self-righteousness Max).

X-Titles

Well, time to see how low Cornell's Dark X-Men came in to frustrate me fu-....

#33?!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! There is a God! Sure, it helps that it came out close enough after the the Utopia crossover, but that's not the point! The point is that a great comic sold well considering how good it is!... That makes no sense when I read it but shut up it sold good!

... I'll ignore that Uncanny X-Men and X-Force sold better when they're both shits on sticks at the moment.

Also worthy of note is S.W.O.R.D. coming in at #95 with its DEBUT ISSUE. Seriously what the hell?! I know I bought it! I get that it's a long time after Whedon's Astonishing X-Men so it's lost a fair bit of validity and Beast looks unusual but this is one of the best comics of the year and has MOTHER-FUCKING DEATH'S HEAD! You don't see a comic with Death's Head in and not buy it, yes? My GOD comic buyers have let themselves down.

Oh and New Mutants continues a slowish decline/middling situation. Must. Do. Better.

Events

Blah blah Blackest Night doing well Blah Blah Necrosha doing okay Blah Blah Realm of Kings underperforming Blah Blah Blah

HULK

... How many of you are paying money for HULK? 'cause you're all idiots. Or kids. It's actually not a bad kids book... I've kinda derailed myself now... Still some people out there are older and think this shit is good. You are all fools and need to switch to Incredible Hulk, which is far lower for some reason. Nonsense!

Other

On a much lighter and less ranty note Dr. Horrible sold fairly well, coming in solidly at #80. Well done. Class dismissed!

/rant

A to Z: C is for CHEW

2009-12-05T09:50:00.029Z

Three letters in and the variety continues, this time with a massive hit from Image that I only bothered to buy in trade because... C'mon... £7.50 trade!

When most people think of the third peg of the comics industry that is IMAGE COMICS they usually come up with the same sort of things: Robert Kirkman, the 90s, EXTREME, Savage Dragon, Erik Larsen, Todd Mcfarlane and comic's favourite kicking boy (though not an entirely undeserved position as we all well know. Although saying that he's gotten better lately. I'm rambling moreso than usual ignore this) Rob Liefeld.

Chew has nothing to do with any of these things. In fact Image Comics itself isn't the same crazed over-the-top monstrosity that it was back in the 90s. Nowadays it is home to some of the best independent material around. And some of the worst. But that's not the point. The point is that alongside the 90s remnants, no matter how FREAKIN' AWESOME some of them are, and the Robert Kirkman gore extravaganza, that Chew is part of a brilliant set of amazing indie titles that people should be buying and if the latest sales charts are to be believed actually are.

No, Chew is the smash hit of John Layman and Rob Guillory (though I can't judge if that hype is true, though it does seem to be climbing up the monthly charts) telling the story of Tony Chu, a Cibopathic (it means he gets psychic impressions from food. Think Longshot, only he has to eat the stuff and is Asian-American) detective who, following a very strange bust, ends up sans partner and an agent of the Food and Drug Administration. Oh and chicken is forbidden because of Bird Flu, though that might be a conspiracy.

Still all I've done so far is exposit about the series, so I best cut to the brass tacks and explain why I'm spotlighting this. This is a riveting and well written modern indie masterpiece (seriously, fuck Kickass, that's got nothing on this) with some of the best art of the year, trailing behind some amazing contenders (to be addressed in a future article). It's completely unique and both amazingly beautiful and comic book ugly at the same time, as all good art should be (except Detective Comics my GOD that is ART!). I mean observe how well the first issue presents what is basically a poster of rehashed panels and Tony Chu looking disgusted:

Beautiful. If you tell me I'm wrong then... We have different opinions.

Another interesting point to the art is how sinister it can be with its wonderfully cartoony look. I mean it does fulfil a fair gore quota that most Image comics have to do, but does it in a way that's actually necessary to get across the atmosphere of the scene. Take the crazed moment where Agent Chu takes down a murderer who's just thrown a CLEAVER INTO HIS PARTNER'S HEAD and proceeds to try and get more information about who else the murderer has killed he starts biting his face off! This is CHILLING. And totally awesome.

The plot makes a helluva lotta interesting turns over the course of the first five issues, so good in fact that I dare not even hint at them. Suffice to say if you read the fifth issue you'll be raring for more just from the shocking turn the series takes. This is comics writing done right, something that's getting harder and harder to find nowadays.

... And yet I appear to be trying to fill up 26 articles with ramblings about good comics?

... Shut up! The point is that CHEW IS AWESOME AND GO OUT AND BUY THE TRADE!

RIGHT NOW!

BY CLICKING THIS LINK!

Also HEAD CLEAVER!

WHA-BAM!

That's C, what's D? D...ecently written?

Wait, have I started a recurring joke at the bottom of these articles? Quick, I better not acknowledge it so that I can keep it going!... Balls.

A to Z: B is for BAKUMAN

2009-12-04T19:01:00.017Z

As Christmas approaches with admirable gusto (I swear it's almost like it's the same time every year), I continue my rambling about a veritable alphabet of comics. This time we jump into what was once a very familiar territory for me: Manga.

What can I say about Takeshi Obata and Hiroshi Gamo (and it IS Hiroshi Gamo, he's as paper thin as some particularly cheap toilet paper when it comes to hiding his true identity behind the name Tsugumi Ohba) that won't be me ranting on and on about how god-awful Death Note is for being a shitty light novel that has irreversibly damaged the mainstream perception of shonen, a genre made for 10-13 year olds, by making it look like it should all be about faux-goth wankery that's popular with those particularly sweaty and hairy fangirls you try and stay away from at conventions, else their moustaches infect you with a love for slash fiction?

... That they've made one of the best guides to the Japanese comics industry ever, perhaps? That they've managed to produce a brilliant and engaging story that doesn't substitute endless dialogue for expressive art AND manages to still be a surprisingly deep manga that succeeds in staying firmly in the comfy 10-13 year old main demographic without becoming painfully childish?

Yeah that'll do it.

So yes, to explain Bakuman. It's basically a story about two teenagers agreeing to work on manga together and make a career out of it. It actually defies the 99% probability that it would lick the arses of Shueisha (the comic's publisher) and in turn the offices of Weekly Shonen Jump (in which it runs in Japan) and presents a fairly realistic view of how a person can get their manga published in Japan, and by connection a vague idea on how to become involved with comics in the entire world. It's comprehensive and has more than enough drama to disguise it's true form from the kiddywinks who buy Weekly Shonen Jump every week. So trust me when I say this will be essential for everyone to buy when it comes out in English at some point in 2010.

"Wait... What? Why are you telling us about how great this series is if we can't even go out and buy it yet?!" I hear those of you who've made it this far possibly say. Well, I'll tell you. It's a pre-emptive strike (if not a surprisingly limited one due to my intent to avoid using scanlations for the images in this article) with the pure intention to inform you all of how worthwhile this series will be on that fateful day when it comes out in shops and most decent people will shrug it off due to the horrible stigma the authors have given themselves with that piece of shit Death Note. That and the alternative was to write about Batman: Snow, something I haven't actually managed to even read at the moment, kind of removing the ability to write about it.

Anyway, back to bigging this up in a structureless ramble by pointing out how genuinely beautiful the art is. This is Obata's magnum opus, combining the light hearted feel his earlier works like "Cyborg G-Chan" with the more 'realistic' trappings of his later, more popular hits like "Hikaru no Go" and... That other, more shitty one. It creates a captivating atmosphere throughout, that has only as much as wavered over the course of the 65 chapters that have come out in Japan.

In fact the art is pushed to it's absolute limit in how Obata approaches the series created within the series (ooh, I just had a picture in a picture moment there), making them all look like they're distinct enough from each other and not obviously all the work of the same artist. Observe:
This is Detective Trap, the first serialised work of the protagonists. Note the bolder, more cartoony art style for the main character of the story compared to the colour pages shown here.

This is Kiyoshi Knight, a series by one of the protagonist's rivals. Note how aggressive this is compared to the normal art.

Another rival's work, Hideout Door, is a completely different style with Hiroyuki Takei-esque stylings (you lot'd know him for teaming up with Stan Lee to do ULTIMO at the moment, but here's some picture reference for what I'm getting at)

And finally... *shudder* this abstract freakshow from a pretentious character that has since been thrown into obscurity.

BONUS: Just to make my point more substantial here's some faceshots of the 'real world' art.

As you can see, pretty varied stuff. I'll be making a post upon a release date being made clear for the series to promote this some more, but otherwise I hope I've whet your appetite and provided an entertaining enough post.

What could be C? Could it be C...ompetently structured? AHAHA NO!

A to Z: A...mbush Bug

2009-11-30T18:44:00.012Z

OH EM GEE! A new article? A new FEATURE?! And so soon after the last one? It's almost like I actually do stuff! If you can't work out what I'm going to do with a series called A to Z... Well, you're not very intuitive.

What's the first thing that comes to mind when I bring up a beloved 4th wall breaking character or series that stretches the imagination, makes you laugh and breaks down comics on a fundamental level? Not just that but a comic that begins with the letter A?

Yes Anima- NO NOT FLARKING ANIMAL MAN! I'm talking about the crazed green guy with the creepy doll for a child! I'm talking AMBUSH BUG! And more specifically his awesome 1985 limited series.

A series unlike any other (except the other Ambush Bug series' out there), Ambush Bug managed to be straight-up comedy and parody other comics and tropes without having to resort to the shoddy modern Deadpool 'wink at the reader' stylings. In fact the series turned out to be massively prescient, predicting such things as Darkseid sitting in a heroes flat waiting for them (retarded Mary Marvel moment in Countdown to Final Crisis anyone?). It also shows an anarchic hate for everyone, be it the readers, characters in the DC universe, or even just the staff working on the book themselves. In fact it hates DC characters so much that it actually devotes page time to bring up how freakish some characters are, like that 'midget' Wonder Tot, or the Legion of Super-Pets (they were a group?!):

The story itself in Ambush Bug is completely pointless, in that there isn't one. It's just the creators pissing about and doing whatever they find appropriate issue to issue, whether it be taking the mick out of different countries, what the comic would be like done by other artists, the appearance of a villain who doesn't even belong in the final issue and having a fight between Ambush Bug and said villain drawn by the creator's son because Keith Giffen came down with a virus. If comics tried to pull this stuff off, even in satire, nowadays comic fans would hunt it down and declare it the biggest rip-off ever (with the exception of Ambush Bug: Year None, which has been accepted with no issue, so perhaps I should shut up and walk away) but Ambush Bug defies the money-wasting aspect of the comic by being a rip-roaring (I did NOT just say 'rip-roaring' did I?) adventure into DC obscurity through silliness.

I can't believe these bloody fools actually think that the English even bloody speak like that, those c**ts!

In fact writing about it has been nigh-on impossible due to how ridiculous and pointless the whole affair is. I may as well just curl up in a ball and pretend I never tried to write about it. No, that's the weak person's way out. I WILL POWER THROUGH THIS! Ambush Bug is one of the best comic series of all time and has rightfully earned it's place as the first series I ramble aimlessly about on A to Z. It's even quite easy to find now that it's collected in a brilliant Showcase volume alongside some of the character's small-time appearances and the Son of Ambush Bug series. If you haven't peeked into this series you should really buy a copy, chuckle a lot and then wish that I had written about it in a way that was actually interesting and more than just a vague ramble.

SOPHISTICATED!

LINK TO THE SHOWCASE VOLUME

So if that's A, what's B? B...etter Written, I hope!

That Is Why: Omega Flight Should Have Been An Ongoing Series

2009-11-22T20:20:00.091Z

And so with my return comes the second instalment of my multi-purposing That Is Why posts! For those of you that have forgotten or are new to the blog, That Is Why is a series of articles focused on voicing simple opinions under the guise of a well thought out essay. The first instalment delved into why Sub Mariner: The Depths Isn't What You'd Think and subsequently why it was awesome, and this time around I'm looking at why Omega Flight should have been an ongoing series. Simple enough?

Good.

Now I can already hear the people telling me that Omega Flight was originally supposed to be an ongoing series, but between one reason or another it just didn't happen and got reduced to an admittedly great five issue limited series. I know that. In fact that's exactly the reason why I'm writing this: to explore the possibilities presented within this opening arc and appreciate what elements it did throw onto the table before disappearing.

So with all that information fresh in your mind hit the jump to read That Is Why: Omega Flight Should Have Been An Ongoing Series!

You're Witnessing The Death Of A Dream. My Dream Of Omega Flight Having Been An Ongoing Series.

For those who don't know, Omega Flight is one of many new series that span out of Civil War in 2007, alongside such successful and totally not cancelled hits as The Order, Immortal Iron Fist and Heroes For Hire and ACTUALLY successful titles such as... Mighty Avengers and Avengers: The Initiative... Huh, guess comic-goers only want titles about Avengers... *ahem* anyway, the series presented a replacement team for the dead Alpha Flight, taking on the name of old AF foes... because... er... well let's see:

Oh... That actually IS some great logic behind it...

With that solid reasoning in mind the series all rolls together, throwing elements like who belongs on the new team, the first arc's opponents and the dynamics of the series. One of the most important elements (and the first I'll address as why it should have been an ongoing series) is the use of visions, particularly from Talisman, Omega Flight's resident Sacree Shaman (how many teams have one of those?).

Thevision shown here is particularly interesting, as it stems out from her telling the story of the creation of sweat lodges and in turn the first shaman, developing into her short vision letting her know that 'someone is coming'. It's simple and vague, but stuff like this could be used to great effect to frame each problem that arises in any given arc, or even just provide more beautiful insight into Talisman's peoples history (I mean seriously look at that art. That's just... Amazing. Love it. Also owls.). Not just that, but Beta Ray Bill has been having visions himself that have led him to Canada, the sort of coincidence that can only happen when a great and destined team is being created. I love that sort of thing!

Still, just having a great way to frame the many stories that would surely have come out of Omega Flight being an ongoing series would mean nothing if the series didn't have a solid cast of brilliant and captivating characters. Like SASQUATCH!

He's big, furry and lucky lil' Talisman gets to hug his huge hairy bod. The bitch.

Sasquatch is a character with a frightening level of potential to him. The only survivor of The Collective's attack on Alpha Flight (see the pathetically awful New Avengers volume 4 for that), he's able to be that one character racked by survivor's guilt, trying to cope and lead this new team at the same time. Not just that but a team that has more and more outsiders, from the americans USAgent and Arachne (more on those later) to the horse-faced alien himself BETA RAY BILL (more on him later too) and the former host of the murderous collective Michael Pointer. Actually with Pointer it's more of an issue for Talisman it seems but I digress, can you IMAGINE being in that position, where your team members are unrelatable or can bring back the trauma of the Collective incident? Sasquatch has a lot on his shoulders and if this were an ongoing series he would definitely be the standout character. That and just look at him!

Walter Langkowski, you might well be the best startled character of all time.

Beyond that he's also entertaining and carries the sort of charm that a leader should in a team book (especially one formed of so few people). Oh and basic battle talk, such as this gem of an entrance line:

He's right! He ISN'T Captain America! 5 Points!

... Okay that wasn't so good, but does good ole Cap make good entrance lines? NO! Does Hank Pym? CERTAINLY NOT! Does Captain Britain? Do any Bendis Avengers? AHAHAHAHA NO!... Sometimes. No, leaders have to seem corny and a little awful with one liners and such. After all, we don't come to the leaders for wit, we come for them to assure us and seem awesome, whilst having the neccesary Marvel-Brand Emotional Baggage(tm) that all significant characters must have. In fact the baggage for Sasquatch is so great that he loses horrifically within the first issue of this series (that puts him out of the picture for a fair bit like all good leaders) due to a flashback to that horrible moment of fiery death. Which I might add is beautiful again. Seriously, Scott Kolins was perfect for this series and would have made a brilliant regular artist. Observe:

PRETTY TRAUMA!

Still enough on Sasquatch, for it is time to highlight another, far less important character: USAgent!

No, no I'm not.

USAgent is a very polarising figure, in that most people think he's awful and I love the ever-loving crap out of him. He's an extreme representation of the atypical American gun-toting, flag-loving, commie-hating, liberal-beating thugs, going to whatever means neccesary to get his mission done and offending everyone while he's at it. Whilst I can understand that this offends the sensibilities of a fair amount of everyone's favourite westerners, It comes across as an entertaining and over the top insight to a lazy, apathetic limey like myself, providing that ever-popular caricature of Americans that is present constantly around here. But I digress it is not time to attack people in this post, merely to compare them to someone who will beat the shit out of any opponent he faces, be it monster or muscley muscley cheesecake.

... No comment on the cheesecake... Drawn well.

and now observe our sexist arsehole in all his lovable glory! TRYING TO BEAT A WOMAN! AND GETTING PUNCHED IN THE GUT! WOO!

Anyway, you may be asking just what USAgent could do over an ongoing series of Omega Flight, so I'll tell you!... Not much! No, USAgent fills a very specific void that any successful or decent team book needs: comic relief. Pretty much everything he does in the first arc (and yes I will keep calling it a first arc, for it was meant to be and I'm a bad writer) is purely entertaining, even if it doesn't intend to be anything more than throwaway, such as his weirdly entertaining potty mouth:

The time it took for USAgent to censor himself isn't really gotten across here. He's actually saying "AMPERSAND CLOSE BRACKET HASH UPWARDS ARROW PERCENT DOLLAR ASTERISK HASH AMPERSAND AT! ASTERISK DOLLAR AT OPEN BRACKET PERCENT MATT AMPERSAND!" I mean that has to be a helluva single shot he's firing there!

Not to say there isn't a potential arc here for the sap. In fact he has the joy of being the worst punchline I could think of for a 3-4 issue arc entitled -wait for it- CANADAgent!

*badum-tish*

... *ahem* Sorry about that. Anyway the sole development I can imagine for the character is that following a VERY slow learning curve over a fair amount of arcs USAgent become disillusioned with his beloved United States (this would fit ideally within Dark Reign, though his Mighty Avengers character is apparently an admirer of Osborn and how much of a patriot he is) and starts to lighten up, embracing his new country to an extreme degree, becoming CANADAgent, a swear-free, equality-loving pansy who is essentially a massive middle finger to liberals and the canadian people at once due to his skewed vision of all people that don't fit his old right-wing no nonsense approach to the world. In the end this madness escalates to him destroying all the weapons, including his own shield, within Omega Flight's base and shutting all of his team-mates inside of said base and roaming around Canada trying to disable all of their defences and weapons. Chaos reigns and only a representation of some of the things USAgent hated when he is confronted by Northstar, a gay former terrorist and Canadian mutant (not that USAgent hates mutants, just probably has issues with the other three facts due to how despicable his views on the world are) which snaps him out of his peace-loving hippyness and results in him fighting and losing to Northstar. Fun, stupid and reasonably offensive, just like Marvel should be! So, whaddaya think?

*sniff* JERK!

And with that image we make the clumsy leap over to the next character: ARACHNE! AND HER DAUGHTER! Uh... YAY!

Arachne's daughter played in this scene by Brian Michael Bendis in a wig

I think I have to admit some stuff here. First up is that I've only read two comics that aren't Omega Flight that feature Arachne: Secret Wars (which I didn't like) and a Civil War one-shot or something that led to her being in Canada (might have been an issue of Ms. Marvel, which shows what I know). Any and all other knowledge of the character comes from the Iron Man 90s cartoon, where I'm pretty sure she was just a reminder that Force Works existed and that there was a Spider-Woman that didn't have her own awful cartoon from the late 70s. So understand when everything I suggest for her future in Omega Flight is based upon her relationship with her daughter as shown in this series.

Indeed, everything that Arachne does in this series is motivated by her daughter's existence and how much she needs to fight for it to be a nice lovey-dovey world for her satanic spawn to live in. Yes, I hate child characters, thanks for asking! As such her role throughout the series is to be in every battle helping somehow and in the downtime helping her daughter understand the world... and maybe... *sigh* and maybe she'll learn some things from her daughter at the same time...

Arachne's Daughter: because children teach life's TRUE lessons

Beautiful. But I won't dwell on one of the admittedly weak (if essential) elements of the team and shall try to push my way through the other three-four protagonists and EVENTUALLY get to villains and the approach Omega Flight could have taken to missions and themes. Are you tired yet? Well take a break, here's a convenient marker point to remember where you are:

------------------------------------------------------------------

Wow, useful right? Speaking of useful, let's talk GUARDIAN!

... Wait did I say useful? I meant compromised heavily.

Like Sasquatch, Michael Pointer is a character with great potential that's barely touched upon within the first arc presented to us. The only positive thing to come from The Collective (HATE HATE HATE HATE), Pointer is now incredibly powerful and stuck inside the suit of one of the members of Alpha Flight he brutally slaughtered when he was possessed by the retcon that is COLLECTIVE XORN. Understandably this leaves our new Guardian in as much of a state as ever and wishing he could either be dead or do something, anything to help make up for the pain he was forced to inflict upon people. Basic, simple and to the point, not to mention how well it plays against Sasquatch and Talisman, two people whose very lives have been deeply affected by the events that were outside of Pointer's control.

The character has a very singular direction he COULD have gone, trying harder and harder to both be the hero he has the capability of being and to try and, if not redeem himself, bond with the team-mates he has managed to wound so badly. In fact towards the end he gets a valuable first step in this path, proving how important such things are to the character:

... What? You want a punchline?

Of course this is one of the characters where any and all possibility of further development is thrown into the air. Why, you ask? Matt Fraction. I love the man, but god damn has he altered Pointer into some insane freak coerced into joining the frankly crazy team that is the Dark X-Men. This might change in the near future however, with Paul Cornell already making steps to make him complex and interesting again in the frankly flippin' awesome Dark X-Men limited series. Read that for the best Michael Pointer 'Weapon Omega' fix, and pretend my complete lack of ideas are better.

Peddling backwards somewhat, I feel I should address more to do with Talisman, who I've only glanced over earlier in this article. She's a character who has a rich, storied history with the Flight comics and enough room for extensive growth and development now that Alpha Flight has been blown to kingdom come. And she's some much needed cheesecake to the proceedings, fitting a multitude of fanservice roles, from the Dani Moonstar style 'native charm' (oh I'm going to hell for how that sounds) to the geeky glasses look charm, or even the feisty deity looking stuff when she goes full on Talisman. She's a wonderful piece of fanservice disguised as one of the best characters on the team.

Uh... Not that you aren't ACTUALLY one of the best characters on the team... Wait am I apologising to a comic panel?

Outside of the now beaten into the ground concept of her interactions and potential forgiveness of Michael Pointer, Talisman can develop personality-wise in many aspects, especially her motivations for co-operating with Canada's last superhero team. Starting out as an uneasy alliance purely to help find and save Sasquatch from the Wrecking Crew, it evolved into a pleasant parting at the end of the first arc staying with her family for the moment. Given the right incentive she could be the quintessential reserve member in an ongoing series, coming to the team with new visions or information that could lead to new arcs or sub-plots (see the vision stuff about 1500 words ago), or even just appear on the larger missions to bond with characters on one-to-one or team basis's. A personal favourite idea I've been shooting about has been for Talisman to fit into Marvel's new $3.99 + backup approach as the star of a back-up in an ongoing of Omega Flight (or even the ongoing that was supposed to exist), going on vision quests in the ghostly world of... Wherever this place is described as (Spirit Canada?):

Admittedly not the best picture of Spirit Canada, but I'm understandably limited by laziness after getting together 80 images from the comic to use. So sorry but trust me, Spirit Canada is awesome

On the note of visions, I'll close out this overly stuffed character focus with that horse-faced sonuva gun that we all love to love, BETA RAY BILL!

BILL! AH AAAAAAAAAH, SAVIOUR OF THE UNIVERSE! BILL! AH AAAAAAH! HE SAVE EVERY ONE OF US!

Drawn to Canada by potent visions of a giant evil Sasquatch destroying a city, a giant demonic gateway and a strangely familiar owl (read as: that owl in the vision Talisman had) calling him to a museum in Canada. We find all this out in a creepily well drawn notepad page Bill's doodling on whilst on a coach journey, but none of this is important. The fact is that fate and weird owls have drawn Beta Ray Bill to Omega Flight, making him a destined member of their team right?

... RIGHT! Sure by the end of the first arc he's been thrown into a mysterious demonic dimension, but that's even less permanent than death, as we all well know! I mean in the post-Omega Flight world he just turned up in Secret Invasion: Thor and no-one batted an eye-lid, so him finding a way back sharpish in the ideal ongoing series wouldn't be too infeasible. Though the events he HAS gone through under the masterful pens of Matt Fraction (ugh, that guy again?) and Kieron Gillen (a true genius in Marveldom) are miles above anything that could have happened to him under the banner of a team book, so perhaps the direction of Beta Ray Bill should have stayed the same course as the non-Omega Flight ongoing world, and added him into Omega Flight again with his creepily hot wife in tow. Unless he becomes a recurring cast member of Gillen's S.W.O.R.D. in the future in which case you can essentially disregard any thoughts on him belonging with Omega Flight. Still he does manage to pull of the most indisputably awesome transformation in any comic ever (from his black alter ego, Simon Walters):

I feel there's a 300 joke here, but I just don't know what... Spar... something...

Beyond the threshold of the characters and their development in the series is the obvious element of villains, which come in two distinct yet familiar flavours: villains trying to make a name for themselves jumping up to Canada, and crazy demonic stuff that blows your mind and then some. Both of these are given the ideal representation within the first arc, allowing for me to delve into them and continue to not just shut up and end this article. First and foremost to address is the big Civil War effect of villains heading up to Canada to take ass and kick names. Aided by the unusually sinister representation presented by THE WRECKING CREW!

Again, I feel there's a joke here I'm missing. One about Mentos, the freshmaker? Ah, never mind.

A regular laughing stock of the Marvel U, the Wrecking Crew have never been more than the typical first group of villains a team should face (or at least one of the earliest they should encounter to prove their heroism in the face of super-powered stupidity) and whilst they fit that role here they are brutally reinvigorated without any hesitation from the bumbling fools that had plagued comicdom for something upwards of 30 years to startlingly sinister foes with purpose and intent other than smashing things up and other stupid goals. In fact within their first appearance in this series Wrecker comes off as a psychotic murderer, like any good villain should be... Well a fair few anyway. Observe:

I mean God- DAYUUUUM! That's some sinister shit. And weirdly funny too.

Not just that, but the upgrade given to them through the magical forces of... Whatever the hell magic force is responsible for everything (it's a face in a wall in a magic dimension or something, but for the life of me the name eludes me) turns them into veritable powerhouses and cosmic-level threats, with Wrecker taking on Beta Ray Bill in one of the most awesome fight sequences in recent history AND WINNING. No, not just winning, but doing it with enough cockiness to finish the fight on this sentence:

Oh, don't say that you'll make Thunderstrike cry!

"JERK!"

I won't dwell on the Wrecking Crew themselves (despite how horrifying Thunderball is, abusing Sasquatch) and just say that any character given a treatment this unusual, this game-changing, this... Amazing, will indisputably become a character to remember. Heck, this could even make someone like Paste-Pot Pete credible (no it couldn't). Just yet another reason that Omega Flight should have been an ongoing series I guess.

The final hurdle to address before concluding this never-ending essay are the magical beings that have the potential to appear and make any fight seem more and more hopeless. Not to suggest that all threats should be magical and result in the characters having to win against unreasonable odds with possible losses along the way. No that would get stale as hell and probably ruin magic for the entire Marvel Universe. No, what I would suggest instead in this crazy dream world of Omega Flight having been an ongoing series is for magic to be an underlying theme, enhancing either the villains or heroes, or being an all-out threat on OCCASION, the sort of thing that can build as a sub-plot or background detail over the course of a couple of arcs before exploding outwards in an epic 6-12 issue extrrrrrravaganza that would make people jump to their wallets to buy it in an oversized hardcover filled with love the second it starts to happen. But then this is a dream world so instead we're reduced to just thinking how great the magic threat managed to seem in this 5 issue beauty.

AAARGH! REAL MONSTERS! Oh? They're in a comic book and probably won't ever appear again? Never mind then.

In conclusion, Omega Flight is truly a well of untapped potential, and I hope that I've shown that to you within this article. With the characters in the story, the potential directions the series could have gone and the presence of significant threats and issues touched upon in the first arc, there is no doubt in my mind that this is the one series that really had the chance to be so much more than anyone could have imagined. The only thing to come close in recent time has been Savage She-Hulk, and that is living on for now as a back-up story in Incredible Hulk. There's so much more I would like to say about this series that I just don't have the time for (mainly because this article has taken me somewhere upwards of a month to produce due to lack of time and hiatus and such) and I will probably return to them more one day with a standard review of the trade paperback. Until then rest assured that THIS is all why Omega flight should have been an ongoing series.

And that dead Captain America jokes will always be funny:

Too soon?

Oh, probably helps to link to the TPB: It's over here!

Top Ten: Comic Story Arcs

2009-11-15T20:40:00.025Z

Whilst my attempts to make the site more accessible, rebooted, prettier and generally more respectable are going along at a far better pace than expected I'm sure that no-one will check the site when it's done if I don't post once in a while. As such I'm taking a leaf from the brilliant Ryan K. Lindsay of Stinkbrown fame and doing a TOP TEN COMIC ARCS! Heck, everyone should do one! START A REVOLUTION!

In a slightly shocking move this won't consist entirely of New Mutants arcs peppered with other X-Teams (GOOD GOD HAVE I GONE MAD?!) and spread itself over as many different and diverse comics as possible. Which considering one of my favourites here covers a million or so comics won't be that surprising.

(in a rare move by myself these aren't in any order, simply to save over-thinking on the subject)

1. Detective Comics: Elegy by Greg Rucka & J.H. Williams III (#854-857)

I'm sure that some people might groan at how recent this is, but then those people obviously haven't read this outstanding example of how to do an opening arc right AND as a piece of art. I mean seriously, it hit fast and hard with the plot, threw in tons of natural feeling elements, hinted at Batwoman's origin and had one of the best twists in comic history (though I'm sure it's a little corny). Still even if that was non-existent this arc stood out amongst all the others I've considered because of how well the art is implemented. Switching tone entirely depending on the content of the story with layouts so insanely beautiful grown men have been known to weep (or at least write a review that opens on the word fuck in big, bold, orange writing). A story arc that did EVERYTHING right and punched you in the gut, this has truly earned its place in this top ten.

2. Daredevil: Battlin' Jack Murdock by Zeb Wells & Carmine Di Giandomenico (#1-4)

Sometimes the thing that can truly make an arc is the flow and narrative structure, especially between issues. As such this Marvel Knights limited series captured that crucial part of a comic arc to a tee, using the 4 round final fight of Jack Murdock to frame the story of him and his son (you might know him, he's that Matt Murdock bloke. Blind, bit horny, you know) to great effect, along with the simple notion of how a person's perception of strength and what makes you strong can be completely wrong. That's really all I need to say about this story arc other than the brilliant writing and art by Zeb and Carmine. If you haven't read this then you might well have missed one of the best Daredevil arcs of all time. And heck, it doesn't even really STAR Daredevil!

3. Kraven's Last Hunt/Fearful Symmetry by J.M. Dematteis & Mike Zeck (WoSM #31-32, ASM #293-294 and SSM #131-132)

The things I could say about Spider-Man arcs and how much I love them could very well fill a very large and useless encyclopaedia and with good reason; between this, Death of Jean DeWolffe, Marvel Knights Spider-Man #1-12, Changes and The Other, Spider-Man has never failed to produce some of the best arcs of all time! Kraven's Last Hunt particularly stands out due to a combination of sophisticated plot elements (I could just straight up write an essay on the examination of Kraven in this comic and his grasp on obsession and insanity, or heck just quote the poem that runs throughout the comic) and some of the most exciting scenes in any Spider-Man comic EVARR. Seriously Kraven hunting Spider-Man at the start has to be one of the most heart-stopping scenes in any comic. One of the best arcs and in fact one of the best comics ever.

Oh and I should probably mention the magic that is how Dematteis claims this comic evolved and formed itself more than he created it (seriously buy the TPB, he explains it) and how it did the unheard act of running across all the Spidey titles to get the tale out quicker and to show focus exclusively on this epic story. 'Nuff said?

4. New Mutants: Legion by Chris Claremont & Bill Sienkiewicz (#26-28)

Okay you knew I'd address something to do with New Mutants eventually, so just be glad that I mentioned three other arcs before getting to this gem. Up until this point in the series New Mutants had been a brilliant if incredibly corny gem for me, with only Nova Roma standing up as a truly awesome comic arc, so when it finally came to hit the big mystery nail on the head of what the hell the deal was with Xavier's unknown son I wasn't quite ready for how awesome this arc turned out to be. And it WAS awesome. Aided to no end by Bill Sien... Sience... SIENKIEWICZ, this was a captivating piece of art for me and absorbed me into the mind of Chris Claremont's mad world of Legion's mind with the same ease that the characters themselves were thrown into it. the story didn't miss a beat and most importantly did what all good comic arcs should do. It made me want to read the next issue so badly that I just couldn't wait! If your comic can do that then you're on the path to greatness!

... Well all that and I bloody LOVE the New Mutants.

5. Secret Wars II by Jim Shooter & Al Milgrom et al (Don't Get Me Started)

Jim Shooter is a bit of a cunt. I'm not talking Ronald Perelman "complete and utter bastard ruining Marvel comics" cunt, just a bit cuntish. A tiny bit. Despite that small handicap Shooter managed to write what might very well be my favourite event of all time; SECRET WARS II. Turning the idea of comic flow on its head, SWII managed to have EVERYTHING change between each of its nine issues, to the degree that if you were just following the event comic itself you'd probably lose track of who the Beyonder actually is. In fact that would probably be a schizophrenic arc at best. No, it's when you see the bigger picture, where anywhere up to five different series would further the complete story, showing the Beyonder's exploration of humanity through the heroes he's met through his time on earth and how that shapes him between each issue of the greater picture. In all the time I've put into reading Marvel comics lately (I remind you I'm trying to find the 50 best Marvel comics of all time) I haven't read anything quite like this and I have to say that if all current events did this... Well it'd be bloody interesting. A crossover between crossovers and events this stands as a testament to how being completely different can be completely amazing. Heck I stand by that so much I'm buying the freakin' omnibus!

6. X-Men Icons - Chamber: The Hollow Man by Brian K. Vaughan & Lee Ferguson (#1-4)

Let's be honest now, you haven't read this. Heck as far as I SHOULD be concerned I haven't read it either. Except I did, having to shamefully resort to downloading the issues online (as I type this I've spied a relatively cheap bundle of all 4 issues on ebay I may order on thursday though, so disregard that). For whatever reason this balls-blisteringly brilliant limited series hasn't surfaced in trade form yet, a tragedy and no mistake. This comic managed to...

...

... Okay at this point I'd just be reiterating how well narrated and structured a comic can be so instead of all that usual crap I'll say this: this comic makes Chamber even more awesome than he was before. I KNOW! I'm not even saying that as a fanboy *shuffles banner with Chamber on it out of the way* but from the simple knowledge that BKV turned him into a brilliant tool to show how the prejudice against mutants isn't restricted to humans as he interacts with the arc's other prominent character Amber, a shape-shifting reptilian mutant woman with the major hots for the then-faceless wonder. Possibly my favourite limited series of all time (I say stuff like that a lot, so ignore that statement if you must), this... Is REALLY hard to explain to the full extent I should! READ IT! NOW! GO DO IT AND SAVE ME THE EFFORT OF STRUGGLING WITH THIS BUM-LICKING!

... Okay? Good.

(side note: look forward to me moaning about how I should write a Chamber ongoing series in a future article)

7. New X-Men - E is for Extinction by Grant Morrison & Frank Quitely (#114-116)

"Oh look someone saying that a part of Morrison's New X-Men was one of the best comic arcs what a surprise he must be a genius to think so ahahahaha-"

SHUT UP!... Wait who was that? Never mind, the point is that some series will obviously appear in lists like these and this is one of those series that was guaranteed to crop up at some point. It's almost such a guarantee that I don't need to explain how this arc took a series that had been stale to a ridiculous degree and changed EVERYTHING. Up was down, black was white and the X-Men had learnt how to be mature instead of edgy. Oh and it wiped out an island of mutants, beating the arse off of the far more recent mutant removal of a crazy woman using powers beyond the scope of reason to fuck shit up (though I do actually like House of M). Morrison did it all right here and then kept up that level of power in his stories right up until the end... Well except for Here Comes Tomorrow, that wasn't quite as good but shut up I'm making a point here.

8. Generation X: The Third Genesis by Scott Lobdell & Chris Bachalo (#1-3)

... It MIGHT be because Chamber is in it. MAYBE. It certainly isn't because Skin is in it and even less so that Jubilee is in it. It MIGHT be because Banshee is in it. Oh and Penance, who is genuinely intriguing, especially when she interacts with Chamber. Heck it might be because the first issue was REALLY SHINY. This is pure self-indulgence. I love this arc and as such it stands up here with the other 9 as the best comic arcs I've read. Sure it's not very professional but no-one can tell me I'm wrong this way! WAHAHAHAHA! *ahem* Uh... Moving on...

9. Animal Man: Deus Ex Machina by Grant Morrison et al (#18-26)

MORE Grant Morrison?! Creative choices, eh? This is notably more credible with the artsy crowd than my million and one mutant-related picks. This is the famous arc that took the 4th wall and bent it over and made it Morrison's bitch. Not just that but the comic evolved past everything it had already become to be a spookily sombre insight into the incredibly self aware mind of Morrison, to a degree I don't believe any other comic writer would have allowed. Not just that but the ending isn't even happy. AT ALL! It fills you soul with sadness (with that crucial tinge of hope, a light shining in the darkness) and leaves you slightly in despair. Oh and it's from when Morrison wasn't a Lex Luthor lookalike. For those reasons and more this is one of my favourite arcs of all time.

(Want another reason? I love the Psycho Pirate. However we won't dive into that here, for my obsession with mentally unstable characters is something to be addressed in a future post)

10. Phonogram: Rue Britannia by Kieron Gillen & Jamie Mckelvie (#1-6)

And finally we come to a series that isn't about superheroes, has no pretty colours and fucking hates Kula Shaker. Yes, Phonogram: Rue Britannia. An epic tale of Phonomancy, Retromancy and a jaded Phallocrat disguised as an intricate look into the creator's attachment to a musical era long dead (wait, that's the wrong way around, reverse that), Phonogram captivates the true Brit in me and twists its melons until all that remains is a slack jawed comic fan who's been amazed by one of the best comic stories out there. I can't speak for The Single Club (the follow-up series) as I haven't read it yet, but this arc is flippin' brilliant and has managed to be the only independant series apparently deserving of such a position in this Top 10.

Thoughts On: Marvel's January Solicits Of Things I'm Gonna Buy

2009-10-20T20:41:00.015+01:00

Not to continue being the whiny self-depreciative overly apologetic person but I really am sorry if the current colours are horrible. I've been toying with the template recently and it hasn't gone well and I haven't reverted it yet. Just cringe as you read this.

Remember this? No, not just the blog (that's been gathering dust as I pursue real world stuff, that I'll talk about soon) but also Thoughts On, the once in a while look at solicits and my (funnily enough) THOUGHTS ON them. In an attempt to keep it simple I'm only going to be looking at things I'll actually be buying come January 2010, as opposed to just about everything and swamping the visual senses with so much fecal matter.

Before we go in it's worth mentioning that the recently announced events and stuff in comics are going to be largely ignored in these, just because the only one I'm guaranteed to buy is DOOOOOOMWAAAAAAR, which might well be the ballsiest thing Marvel's done in ages (what with the throwing of Maberry into the event comic world quite early into his Marvel career). Whether I can just stick to this one event comic is questionable however due to how SIEGE BLOCKBUSTER seeps into Mighty Avengers, World War Hulks is crucial to Incredible Hulk and New Mutants is one of the many titles Second Coming is running across.

... Ruddy event comics...

HIT THE JUMP TO SEE WHAT I THINK ABOUT COMICS THAT I'L BE GETTING AND SOME OF YOU MIGHT DO TOO BUT WHO KNOWS I'M NOT YOU AND I WON'T BE TELLING YOU TO GET THESE COMICS EXCEPT FOR MAYBE A FEW 'CAUSE THEY'RE REALLY GOOD!

KOOKABURRA K #3 (of 3)
Written by CRISSE, MITRIC & HICKS
Adapted by AUBREY SITTERSON
Pencils & Cover by HUMBERTO RAMOS
The titanic red wave of destructive energy has nearly destroyed the entire universe; without anyone surviving long enough to ask themselves why!
The passengers of the space cruiser K, the only survivors in the galaxy, found refuge on Eyrolia, the mysterious “Planet of Illusions.” But far from being saved, they are captured by the terrible Master-Guardian of the planet who sees them as invaders, coming to steal the jewel he protects at the heart of his planet.
Only one being thinks he can stop the madness that is destroying their reality. He is the Paladin, and for him there can only be one culprit: the Kookaburra, almighty reincarnate… Under Mitric’s quill and drawings by Ramos, discover the stunning conclusion to the Kookaburra K trilogy.
48 PGS./Mature …$5.99

Humberto Ramos pencils and 48 pages still don't really make up for the comic being six dollars and whilst I'm fairly sure this is a book adaptation I've never heard of Kookaburra K and have no real desire to. The only reason I'm getting this outside of some pretty Ramosness is just how interesting these solicits sound for a comic book (seriously can't imagine them as standard prose) so count me in!

X-MEN NOIR: MARK OF CAIN #2 (of 4)
Written by FRED VAN LENTE
Pencils & Cover by DENNIS CALERO
Variant Cover by DENNIS CALERO
"The Genosha Bay guards rolled Angel, gagged and shackled to the gurney, into solitary confinement, warden Emma Frost trailing close behind. From the ceiling and every wall bright, hot lights pounded a blinding glare onto the cell's only furnishing, an ominously solitary chair. 'Until you tell me what I want to know,' Warden Frost said, 'You will never leave this room. Welcome to Project: Wideawake."
32 PGS./Parental Advisory …$3.99

I freakin' LOVED X-Men Noir. An X-Factor artist and one of my favourite writers of the modern age?! It was all too much. This can only improve upon the original series, something safe to presume simply because the solicits are much, MUCH clearer this time around. No reading the entire series four times over to just figure out what happened for this one!.... I hope.

ULTIMATE COMICS SPIDER-MAN #6
Written by BRIAN MICHAEL BENDIS
Pencils & Cover by DAVID LAFUENTE
Mysterio has had just about enough of Spider-Man, so he sends in the ULTIMATE SPIDER-SLAYER…and sends it right to Peter Parker’s school! All this and the mystery of the Shroud is finally revealed!! Join rockstars BRIAN MICHAEL BENDIS and DAVID LAFUENTE as we swing into the final chapter of this thrilling arc!
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$3.99

The one good Bendis comic makes it to the end of its first arc come January and I couldn't be more stoked if I tried. Between Lafuente's near-perfect art style (shut up I like it) and a thrilling enough storyline so far in I don't think anything could ruin this outside of the obvious lesbian MJ story not playing out (okay that might just be in my head but shut up it'd be ballsy and interesting and not too close to 616 Marvel like everything else in the Ultimate U)... Or a lack of a hardcover release. This REALLY needs one of those.

BLACK PANTHER #12
Written by JONATHAN MABERRY
Penciled by WILL CONRAD
Cover by PAUL RENAUD
PRELUDE TO “DOOMWAR”
If you think you know what's coming next in BLACK PANTHER, guess again. Shuri, T'Challa and Storm are caught up in a tangle of plots within plots as Doctor Doom and the Broker close the jaws of their trap. Heroes will fall, trust will be betrayed, secrets will be revealed, and nothing will ever be the same. The fuse is lit and Wakanda is about to explode. Guest stars Namor and the Fantastic Four jump into action as the new Black Panther goes to war.
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$2.99

STILL one of my favourite Marvel comics, especially now I've adapted to the change in writing. "Power" has been pretty awesome so far and this lead-in to Maberry's first Marvel event DOOOOOOOOOMWAAAAAAAAAAR sounds like it will kick all sorts of arse before the series shuffles away into hiatus whilst the event comic runs its course. Seriously if you aren't at least buying the hardcovers for this (all the one of them) then you suck so hard you've actually imploded a little.

BLACK WIDOW: DEADLY ORIGIN #3 (of 4)
Written by PAUL CORNELL
Penciled by TOM RANEY & JOHN PAUL LEON
Cover by ADI GRANOV
Time is running out for the on-the-run Black Widow as the sinister Icepick Protocol sets Clint Barton against Mockingbird—and Hercules against everybody! With flashbacks to her days with Daredevil and the Champions, and the final revelation of who is trying to destroy her life, the clock is ticking on Natasha’s life!
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$3.99

I don't much care for the Black Widow outside of her appearance in the first 11 issues of Mighty Avengers (one day I'll have to clarify my somewhat schizophrenic enjoyment of that run) and that won't change at any point ever. Seriously I prefer Black Widow II, which is apparently crazy to say. Still, Tom Raney & Paul Cornell? This comic could shit needles into my face when I open it and I'd still buy it!

... Too weird?

CAPTAIN AMERICA #602
Written by ED BRUBAKER
Penciled by LUKE ROSS
Cover by GERALD PAREL
The monthly CAPTAIN AMERICA returns with a bang! Where has the Captain America from the '50s been the past few months, and what part of our modern world has welcomed him? And what will Steve and Bucky do when an old enemy tries to become a revolutionary? TWO AMERICAS begins here! By best-selling writer Ed Brubaker with art by Luke Ross. Plus, the start of a Second Bonus Feature - NOMAD by Sean McKeever and David Baldeon!
40 PGS./Rated T+ …$3.99

... Bollocks. Now I have to get ANOTHER comic series just for the back-up strip (this goes alongside Incredible Hulk in that regard). On the plus side it has the same advantage as Incredible Hulk in that the main comic is also by an awesome writer and will make up for something I'd rather have its own series of being reduced to something like 10 pages a month. Oh and 50s Cap for the win or something.

FANTASTIC FOUR #575
Written by JONATHAN HICKMAN
Penciled by DALE EAGLESHAM
Cover by ALAN DAVIS
Marvel Women Variant by JELENA KEVIC-DJURDJEVIC
Kicking off the world-spanning new adventures of the Fantastic Four, this is part one of the Prime Elements arc: The Hidden City of the High Evolutionary!
Featuring the return of the Mole Man, the architecture of the underworld, and the smartest Moloid you'll ever meet.
Don't miss it!
32 PGS./Rated A …$2.99

I have to admit I've been an idiot and thought that SOLVE EVERYTHING would have been a larger story in the end and Marvel's First Family wouldn't devolve into basic tales with no real aspirations to greatness. Still I'll get it and enjoy it because I can and then I'll run and hide from freaky buff stubble Reed.

INCREDIBLE HULK #606
Written by GREG PAK
Penciled by PAUL PELLETIER
Cover by JOHN ROMITA JR.
He's fought Thor, Black Bolt, the Juggernaut, and virtually every Avenger on the planet. But nothing's ever hit Bruce Banner as hard as "The Fall of the Hulks"! As the epic storyline begins, Bruce Banner makes the best and worst discovery of his life, Skaar, the savage Son of Hulk, finally shows his true colors, and a Green Goliath in purple pants takes on Doctor Doom himself! "Planet Hulk" writer Greg Pak teams up with fan favorite penciler Paul Pelletier to deliver massive revelations, shocking emotional twists, and epic smashing that will transform Bruce Banner's life forever.
40 PGS./Rated A …$3.99

.... No Olivetti? NO Fred Van Lente? NO LYRA THE SAVAGE SHE-HULK?! *sobs uncontrollably*... I'm okay I just... Need some time... *sniff*... Just... Don't know what to do...

INCREDIBLE HERCULES #140
Written by GREG PAK, FRED VAN LENTE & JEFF PARKER
Penciled by RODNEY BUCHEMI & GABRIEL HARDMAN
Cover by ALEX GARNER
"ASSAULT ON NEW OLYMPUS," Part 3 (of 4)
Of all the giants, gods and monsters Hercules and his team of New and Mighty Avengers have faced in their battle through New Olympus, none may be as formidable as HEPHAESTUS, creator of the immortals' fearsome war engines! With what fearsome device will he try to ensnare and destroy the Hercules/Amadeus Cho team, which has reformed at last -- only to meet their doom? Find out as the New York Times Best-Selling creative team lead Herc on his biggest adventure yet! Plus: as the Agents of Atlas push into the stronghold of the Olympus group, Aphrodite decides to take matters into her own hands in Godmarked Part 3!
40 PGS./Rated T+ …$3.99

The most promising comic combo ever continues as Hercules continues to be Hercules and have the Mighty Avengers co-star AND Jeff Parker taking up residence with his precious Agents of Atlas in the back-up comic. Honestly someone at Marvel has figured out how to combine elements into a perfect critic pleasing sandwich full of delicious cake. I mean wow... I'm not sure where I'm going with this whole thoughts on thing here I'm mainly just bum-licking.

INVINCIBLE IRON MAN #22
Written by MATT FRACTION
Art & 50/50 Cover by SALVADOR LARROCA
50/50 Cover by PATRICK ZIRCHER
The heart and soul of the Marvel Universe gathered to bring Tony back online…but when they flipped the switch, nothing happened. What do you do when the smartest man in the world is trapped inside his own subconscious? Doctor Donald Blake reaches out for a specialist…Doctor Strange! And meanwhile…the Ghost closes in, ready to assassinate Tony Stark once and for all.
32 PGS./Rated A …$2.99

Might not get this to be honest. I mean now we all know that Stark's return to life or whatever it will be is reserved for Bendis-fest SIEGE BLOCKBUSTER there's almost no point to this retrospective/revival of the nigh-on brain dead wonder that is Tony Stark. Still non-X-Men Fraction + Larroca is a good combo that I don't think I can pass up. That and a strong man love for Zircher will make me go ooh at the cover I'm sure. Maybe.

MIGHTY AVENGERS #33
Written by DAN SLOTT
Pencils & Cover by KHOI PHAM
"The Coming Darkness..." Part 2
Can the MIGHTY AVENGERS and DARK AVENGERS join forces long enough to -- we're sorry, we can't even pretend to finish that sentence. There's no way the MIGHTY AVENGERS and DARK AVENGERS are teaming up. They're gonna beat the living heck out of each other! The only question is: can HANK PYM stop the IRON PATRIOT before he harnesses the power of the Cosmic Cube?!
32 PGS./Rated A …$2.99

There it is. The last pre-SIEGE BLOCKBUSTER issue, now carrying those precious words I once feared lost; "Written by DAN SLOTT". I will love this, even if the cover makes me want to shit out of fear. In fact I'll buy the SIEGE BLOCKBUSTER issues too, just because I can't perceive Dan Slott doing bad with this series, even in a situation like that.

AVENGERS VS. ATLAS #1 (of 4)
Written by JEFF PARKER
Penciled by GABRIEL HARDMAN
Cover by HUMBERTO RAMOS
Variant Cover by GABRIEL HARDMAN
Spacetime is being selectively eroded by an unknown force. To stop the effect, the Agents of Atlas seek the help of the Avengers- and find a much earlier version of the team than they expected: Captain America, Iron Man, Wasp, Giant-Man and Thor are together again, with the atomic wildcard THE HULK!
40 PGS./Rated T+ …$3.99

Ya know I could swear Agents of Atlas was cancelled. How it's gone from that to "Oh it's just here and in Incredible Hercules and Thunderbolts and various other limited series and so on". It's almost ridiculous. Thoroughly stup- Oh who am I kidding I'm loving this and will lap up EVERYTHING to do with it. Also more Ramos coverage, which is always pleasing. All that and I haven't even mentioned the original avengers team stuff here. Which is awesome by the way.

SECRET WARRIORS #12
Written by JONATHAN HICKMAN
Penciled by STEFANO CASELLI
Cover by JIM CHEUNG
Nick Fury quietly moves his forces into place as the war between the armies of LEVIATHAN and the armies of HYDRA kicks into gear. Also, the long-awaited origin of the mysterious HIVE, and we finally find out who the father of STONEWALL is.
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$2.99

If the whole Stonewall stuff is such a mystery why the fuck does everyone call him Jerry Sledge?! Or more importantly why is his real name Henry something? I mean that's a fair difference there! Still I love Secret Warriors and am looking forward to this eventual clarification.

STRANGE #3 (of 4)
Written by MARK WAID
Penciled by EMMA RIOS
Cover by TOMM COKER
Stephen Strange and his new apprentice travel not to the Ruins of Raggador or the Dread Dimension of Dormammu...but to a small Southern town conducting a bizarre ritual of its own, one that threatens the life of every young girl in the state! Plus: more on the secrets that Stephen himself is hiding from his student!
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$3.99

I don't know why I'm getting this series. Move along.

MARVEL BOY: THE URANIAN #1 (of 3)
Written by JEFF PARKER
Penciled by FELIX RUIZ
Cover by MARKO DJURDJEVIC
A young man has travelled billions of miles through space in a rocket to help our world. But is Earth of the 1950's ready for a new super hero? Before he became the dark figure the Agents of Atlas call The Uranian, Bob Grayson raced through the skies as Marvel Boy! From the critically acclaimed writer of AGENTS OF ATLAS and FALL OF THE HULKS: ALPHA comes this all-new look back at one of Marvel’s first heroes!
48 PGS./Rated T+ …$3.99

Gotta love how they're talking about FALL OF THE HULKS: ALPHA like it's already critically acclaimed along with Agents of Atlas. Ah well. Good to finally see the original Marvel Boy get some proper attention, even if it is a 3 issue 4 dollar limited series. Also pretty Djurdjevic cover that breaks his unwritten "loadsa white space" rule that most his covers have.

THUNDERBOLTS #140
Written by JEFF PARKER
Penciled by MIGUEL SEPULVEDA
Cover by FRANCESCO MATTINA
Thunderbolts vs. Agents of Atlas—round 2! The hunt down in the swamp comes to a head when one of the T-Bolts ends up dead! There's not going to be much time to cope either, because Norman Osborn needs his team of killers ready for a final mission—and this is what he's been saving them for!
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$2.99

A) it'll be Paladin or Ant-Man that dies just to spite me. B) final mission might well mean that I'll get some good ole original Thunderbolts stuff again soon. No Baron Zemo this year though apparently. Stupid people. Oh and WE GET IT MARVEL YOU HAVE A STIFFY FOR JEFF PARKER AND AGENTS OF ATLAS!

REALM OF KINGS: INHUMANS #3 (of 5)
Written by DAN ABNETT & ANDY LANNING
Penciled by PABLO RAIMONDI
Cover by STJEPAN SEJIC
It’s chaos in the streets of Hala as the Kree aristocracy rise up and revolt against the Inhumans! What legendary weapons have been unleashed upon the Royal Family? Meanwhile, in The Fault, Triton’s expedition closes on the source of a mysterious and chillingly recognizable voice...have they found Black Bolt?
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$3.99

DnA, Pablo Raimondi AND a Stjepan Sejic cover? If this could get any better I fail to see how. Do I need any more thoughts on this? BUY IT EVEN IF IT SUCKS YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE!

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY #22
Written by DAN ABNETT & ANDY LANNING
Penciled by BRAD WALKER
Cover by ALEX GARNER
A REALM OF KINGS ISSUE! Holy Octo-mom! What’s growing in Moondragon’s belly, why is the Universal Church of Truth obsessed with keeping her, and can the Guardians rescue her before the planet they’re on goes supernova? Find out in the series that IGN calls “Impressive…Brad Walker’s pages are a dazzling sight…Guardians of the Galaxy is still standing tall and strong.”
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$2.99

... I'm scared of this, I'm scared of the cover, it genuinely unsettles me and makes me want to hide from the glowing fetuses and creepy creepy smile... No I don't care what happens in this issue I just want to fucking RUN. AND. HIDE.

... And never return.

DARK X-MEN #3 (of 5)
Written by PAUL CORNELL
Penciled by LEONARD KIRK
Cover by SIMONE BIANCHI
Nate Grey, a.k.a., X-Man is back and he is not happy with the state of affairs in the Marvel Universe. So he goes straight to the man responsible—Norman Osborn—and it’s not for a nice chat. It’s X-Man vs. the Dark Avengers and Dark X-Men. Can this Omega class mutant survive this matchup? Find out here!
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$3.99

Despite what an abortion Utopia turned out to be I genuinely wanted to embrace the Dark X-Men as a team, save Guardian who's been horribly rewritten since Omega Flight's emotion creating character. Now that they're all gone save Dark Beast, Mystique, Mimic and *shudder* rewritten Guardian I'm not sure what to make of it all... OH YEAH NATE GREY SCREW ALL THAT HE'S AWESOME.

Oh yeah and the Captain Britain team. That helps.

NATION X: X-FACTOR
Written by PETER DAVID
Penciled by VALENTINE DE LANDRO
Cover by CHRISTIAN MACNEVEN
Utopia. The sanctuary for mutants to escape a world that wants them extinct. So is it the ideal home for X-Factor? That's what Cyclops believes when he invites the world's only mutant detective agency to relocate to their floating island retreat and take up residence there. But will Madrox and his team believe that it's the best place for them? What old faces will pop up, and what old acquaintances will be renewed? And will there even be a Utopia left when the mysterious Crone shows up and threatens to bring the entire place crashing down into the Pacific?
40 PGS./One-Shot/Rated T+ …$3.99

I suppose this was neccesary. I'll love it and cherish it but... *sigh* Well... The X-Factor one shots are weirdly collected. I'm not even sure if the Layla Miller one-shot's made it into a trade yet. If it has... Someone make sure to tell me... Where was I? Oh yeah one shot I'll read but might not care about as much as the main series of X-Factor. Yeah that's it.

CABLE #22
Written by DUANE SWIERCZYNSKI
Penciled by GABRIEL GUZMAN
Cover by MARKO DJURDJEVIC
PRELUDE TO “X-MEN: SECOND COMING” EVENT!
The penultimate chapter in the X-Men saga that began with “Messiah CompleX” continues here! Now that Hope’s told Cable that she’s ready to join the X-Men in the present, Cable risks it all to repair his busted time machine. Finally, after years of being stuck in a one-way trip to oblivion, Cable and Hope leap into the past. But the Mutant Messiah and her surrogate father miss the mark by more than a few hundred years, finding themselves in a primitive Manhattan – and hunted by a mutant who just doesn’t know the meaning of the word “quit.”
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$2.99

Consider this tentative considering how great Cable has become lately. Seriously the second that changes this can FUCK RIGHT OFF. That or it'll end after this story and it won't matter anyway. I mean with Second Coming coming up (heh) there's no real reason for Cable anymore.

NEW MUTANTS #9
Written by ZEB WELLS
Penciled by PAUL DAVIDSON
Cover by ADAM KUBERT
What is Illyana Rasputin up to? In NEW MUTANTS #1, she returned from who knows where with knowledge that she says is from the future. A future where things aren’t going well for the X-Men. Emma Frost is not going to settle for this question being unanswered.
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$2.99

Ah the shining gem of the X-universe. New Mutants leaves Necrosha and gets back to awesome storylines it seems. If you aren't buying this you're either not a comics fan or you're a douchebag... Or something... Perhaps I should encourage you all instead of calling you douchebags.

S.W.O.R.D. #3
Written by KIERON GILLEN
Penciled by STEVEN SANDERS
Cover by JOHN CASSADAY
Agent Brand, Beast, Sydren, Beta Ray Bill, Marvel Boy, Jazinda, Karolina and all the other aliens on Earth have been captured by Henry Gyrich and his “NO MORE ALIENS” agenda. Only one person can free them and save the world: Lockheed.
32 PGS./Rated A …$2.99

Yes that's Lockheed with guns. 'Nuff said.

X-FACTOR #201
Written by PETER DAVID
Penciled by BING CANSINO
Cover by DAVID YARDIN
Something is rotten in the state of Latveria. How does it relate to the disappearance of the Invisible Woman? How does it involve Layla Miller, and is she now an ally of Doctor Doom, with all of her precious knowledge at his disposal? Will Madrox learn exactly who is buried beneath that mysterious grave? And will you buy the issue in order to find out? We dunno; what're we, psychic?
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$2.99

When a solicit results in you yelling "SAY WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!" you know you'll not only pick up the comic but you'll love the shit out of it. Peter David helps a fair bit too by being one of the best writers of all time... I'm really not on the ball here. Um.... oh yeah mysterious grave. That whole thing... Yeah.

X-BABIES #4 (of 4)
Written by GREGG SCHIGIEL
Penciled by JACOB CHABOT
Cover by SKOTTIE YOUNG
Star Comics Variant by JACOB CHABOT
The gloves come off! The X-Babies are in way over their heads as they’re overwhelmed by adorable-ness. Can they, even with the help of the Star Heroes, survive? And when the dust settles, control of the Mojoverse goes to...?????? The X-Babies status quo changes forever in this issue! Plus, a Star Comics reprint!
40 PGS./New and Reprint/Rated A …$3.99

X-BABIES! THEY'RE BABIES! AND X-MEN! AND FREAKIN' AWESOME! No sense of a big climax here, but then I've read one issue and have no idea where it's really going to head. Still, I THINK it'll be awesome, so there's a THOUGHT ON it.

X-MEN FOREVER #15 & 16
Written by CHRIS CLAREMONT
Penciled by PETER VALE (#15) & TBA (#16)
Cover by TOM GRUMMETT
GREAT JUMPING ON POINT…the fate of PERFECT STORM! The last time we saw Storm, she was fleeing from the X-Men, having blinded Sabretooth and killed Logan. Now, we turn our focus to Wakanda to see what became of the evil clone of the woman that the X-Men loved and trusted. ALSO: new two-part story starting with Issue 16 as CHRIS CLAREMONT continues his landmark run on X-MEN FOREVER! Don’t miss a single panel! Plus, an extra feature detailing a timeline of what other Marvel Universe stories were occurring during the current X-Men Forever saga!
#15 - 40 PGS./Rated A …$3.99
#16 - 32 PGS./Rated A …$3.99

Okay I confess I'm not buying these, I just want to point out that in January there will be 16 issues out there and only one trade. That I own. That contains 5 issues. WHERE THE HELL IS VOLUME TWO?! I'm going to have to be buying these things in the end just to not get left behind. Also where's evil Storm's scar gone?

MARVEL MASTERWORKS: THE FANTASTIC FOUR VOL. 3 TPB
Written by STAN LEE
Penciled by JACK KIRBY
Covers by JACK KIRBY & DEAN WHITE
Prepare yourself for another dose of the World’s Greatest Comic Magazine, courtesy of the world’s greatest comic collaborative team! Lee and Kirby set the standard for out-of-this-world imaginative adventure and launched the Marvel Universe with the Fantastic Four. Now, with all the Marvel U.’s super hero players in place, it’s time for the FF to run the gauntlet. The Thing throws down with the Hulk in a battle so huge it takes the combined might of the FF and the Avengers to stop it; the Sub-Mariner makes a play for Sue Storm; the FF tangle with the X-Men; Nick Fury drops by in the story that set the table for “Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.”; and even Dr. Strange makes an ever so astral appearance! Oh, and there’s villains, too! The Mole Man makes his first return since FF #1; Dr. Doom threatens the FF once more, and if he’s not evil enough for you, just wait ’til you see the surprise identity of the Hate-Monger! Just for fun, you’ll also get the Mad Thinker and his Awesome Android, the Puppet Master, the Red Ghost, the outer space Infant Terrible, and the villain fans love to hate—Diablo! Collecting THE FANTASTIC FOUR #21-30.
248 PGS./All Ages …$24.99

I still need volume 1 of this but I'm loving the TPB releases of Marvel Masterworks (an ex bought me volume 2, which I cherish dearly for some great Kirby/Simek art). In fact due to the set-up for Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. I'm going to go back and buy the hardcovers for that series too. My wallet screams.

SECRET WARRIORS VOL. 2: GOD OF FEAR, GOD OF WAR PREMIERE HC
Written by JONATHAN HICKMAN
Penciled by ALESSANDRO VITTI & ED MCGUINNESS
Cover by JIM CHEUNG
Baron Strucker and Norman Osborn team up to drive out the Marvel Universe's ultimate covert superteam. It's wall-to-wall insanity as the Dark Avengers and the Thunderbolts go after the Secret Warriors. It's time for Ares to get his son back! And in THE LIST, Osborn's got it in for Marvel's super spy, but what happens when he needs Nick Fury to uncover a breach in national security? Nothing good, nothing good at all. It's lies, interrogations, double-crosses and just a whole bunch of meanness. Collecting SECRET WARRIORS #7-10 and DARK REIGN: THE LIST - SECRET WARRIORS.
128 PGS./Rated T+ …$19.99
ISBN: 978-0-7851-4306-2
Trim size: standard

No shit moment: Secret Warriors is awesome and worth buying the hardcovers. That'll do for a thought.

AGENTS OF ATLAS: TURF WARS PREMIERE HC
Written by JEFF PARKER
Penciled by GABRIEL HARDMAN, CARLO PAGULAYAN, DAN PANOSIAN & PAUL RIVOCHE
Cover by LEINIL FRANCIS YU
Disturbing visions plucked from the malignant mind of Norman Osborn lead the intrepid Agents to the darkest depths of the Atlantic Ocean, where Namora must have words with her infamous cousin — the Sub-Mariner! Then, The Agents of Atlas find themselves racing around the world to rescue their leader! Jimmy Woo and M-11 find themselves under the talons of the most terrible power in China...the deadly- and beautiful- JADE CLAW! Plus: the Atomic Age heroes meet the original gamma ray giant and learn the meaning of HULK SMASH!!! Collecting AGENTS OF ATLAS #6-11.
144 PGS./Rated T+ …$19.99
ISBN: 978-0-7851-4276-8
Trim size: standard

Buy cancelled series it makes sense and keeps them going in a million different forms because Marvel is obsessed with Agents of Atlas now for some reason.

CABLE VOL. 3: STRANDED PREMIERE HC
Written by DUANE SWIERCZYNSKI
Penciled by PAUL GULACY & GABRIEL GUZMAN
Cover by DAVE WILKINS
We open literally one second after the shattering conclusion of "Messiah War," and Cable's mission to save mutantkind has never looked bleaker. In fact, you can't even call it a mission anymore... After all he’s been through, after all he’s survived…now all Cable can do now is pray—pray the heavily armed killers roaming the deep future can’t match his survival skills.
Then, with the Earth destroyed, Cable and Hope must venture into space. If Hope is going to make it into adulthood, she’s going to have to do it in the cold, lonely vacuum of space, alone except for dark forces that know she’s coming. Collecting CABLE #16-20.
120 PGS./Rated T+ …$19.99
ISBN: 978-0-7851-4241-6
Trim size: standard

The one volume of Cable that is indisputably good. It's worth buying just for that. Seriously that's the best recommendation I'll ever give this series, so you better bloody buy it!

MARVEL FAIRY TALES GN-TPB
Written by C.B. CEBULSKI & DAVID SEXTON
Penciled by KYLE BAKER, JOÃO LEMOS, NUNO PLATI, TAKESHI MIYAZAWA & RICARDO TERCIO
Cover by WARREN KREMER
Re-imagining the greatest Marvel stories through folktales, myths and fables from across the globe! In Avengers, see Captain America, Iron Man, Thor and the rest of the Avengers as you've never seen them before with all-new interpretations of Peter Pan, Pinocchio, Alice in Wonderland and the Wizard of Oz. In SPIDER-MAN, Mary Jane fills the shoes of another famous red-head in this retelling of Little Red Riding Hood with super hero sensibilities! Will Spider-Man be able to save her on her way to Aunt May's house? And in X-MEN, it’s a re-imagining of the tragic origin of Professor Xavier and Magneto! In the ancient African tale, “The Friendship of the Tortoise and the Eagle,” dangerous circumstances cause two pals to take violently different life paths… Collecting AVENGERS FAIRY TALES #1-4, SPIDER-MAN FAIRY TALES #1 and X-MEN FAIRY TALES #2.
144 PGS./Rated A …$14.99

Avenger Fairy Tales is great and it's been a bitch to even find out if it had a trade release, so this gem of a TPB fills me with all sorts of happy. Must buy material.

MARVEL DIVAS TPB
Written by ROBERTO AGUIRRE-SACASA
Penciled by TONCI ZONJIC
Cover by J. SCOTT CAMPBELL
What happens when you take four of the Marvel Universe's most fabulous single girls and throw them together, adding liberal amounts of suds and drama? You get the sassiest, sexiest, soapiest series to come out of the House of Ideas since Millie the Model! Romance, action, ex-boyfriends, and a revelation that changes everything! Let your inner divas out with this one, you won't regret it! Collecting MARVEL DIVAS #1-4.
96 PGS./Parental Advisory …$14.99

I've been loving Marvel Divas like the horribly effeminate person I tend to be, so me buying this has always been a guarantee. Glad to see the solicit isn't horrible for once too.

Wow that's actually it. I'm done with this article. Welcome back to the world of updates. Expect one of these for DC soon too. Oh and maybe some proper articles too that are interesting and clever.