Thought Balloons: Update + Renee Montoya pg.4

Oh my GOD! I've been gone a significant portion of time and another Thought Balloons update has rolled around. you'd think I'd have multiple entries to make up for the time between posts but... No. No, I only have one script for you. A script where I killed a character because I'm just not a fan, essentially making me much like any given E-I-C. Whoop.


BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER - WHAT THE HELL IS MR. POINTY


As usual each script teaches me a valuable lesson, and this one is no exception. I've successfully learnt that if I don't like a character and don't think I can do anything with her flawed, unlikeable arse then frankly I shouldn't force myself to write something. Sure, people are hired all the time to write about characters they may not have a story for, but the basis of things being done through pitches kinda means that if you've got nothing or hate the character, you're not gonna get the job. It's as simple as that.

Also breaking necks Wonder Woman style is AWESOME.

Anyway, onto a character I DO like, to the degree that I took her elseworlds arse and caressed it fondly for what is now 4 out of 12 pages. This is a nice simple stylised wednesday comics style page, providing a simple clothing switch before I dive into the previously alluded to strip club.

... Yeah, so I'm just kind of a huge perv with this story but it's more for the style of the piece than anything. And a love letter to Frank Miller's scripting. So onto Noir As Heck page 4!

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Page 4 - 8 Panels

1-- A sillhouetted Renee Montoya is in front of an open cupboard in a dimly lit apartment. the contents of the cupboard are unclear, but on the top of it is a selection of trilbys. As she's currently preparing an outfit Renee is down to her underthings, consisting of incredibly girly, frilly and colourful panties and bra, both of which are fully visible on her silhouette. Also of important note is that if at all possible her hair should be fully outlined on her silhouette.

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - The Dark Bible has a strict dress code for its patrons, and an even stricter dress code for their employees. And seeing as I'm lacking the necessary fetishes to own my own uniform for that sordid place I'd better get suited and booted.


2-- A shot of Renee's legs as she pulls up some trousers onto her silhouette. The trousers are fully visible, being part of the traditional Question outfit.


3-- A shot of Renee's torso as she buttons a white shirt over her silhouette, tie hanging around the collar, untied.. Whether her bra is slightly visible underneath is purely a matter of whether you feel the colour would show up underneath a white shirt.


4-- Renee is tying her tie on her now done up shirt, with arrows or motion lines indicating her turning and tucking the tie around.


5-- Renee pulling the Question's trademark trilby onto her head, daintily keeping the angle perfect with both of her hands.


6-- Finally we have Renee with the Question's jacket on, doing that thing where you heft your shoulders and shake the collar (man, what is with that thing?). She is now suited. If you're in need of reference for this motion just ask me for some and I shall happily provide.

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - Suited...


7-- Renee is now sitting on the bed in this apartment, putting on some loafers.

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - ... AND booted.


8-- A full shot of Renee in her full Question gear (sans the mask, which shall not be seen in this story). She's neatly dressed for a night in her seedy location, with no make-up other than some considerably dark lipstick.

SPEECH BUBBLE/RENEE MONTOYA - Damn, I feel good.

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - It's a strict dress code, all right, but I'll be struck down if it isn't the best for someone as snappy as me.