Friday List: Top 10 Awesome Pokémon

Be honest. You love Pokémon. You still play it, and sometimes you feel the need to check out the TV show or card game just to see if they still exist. You moan every time they reveal new Pokémon for upcoming games, but still form new favourites and get excited about the game's release. Deep down you're still that child who played Pokémon for the first time, absolutely entranced by what you saw and what you did. And heck, it warms your heart every time you see a kid experience this crucial part of your history for the first time, becoming as enraptured as you were at their age.

... Okay, I'm projecting a bit. But it's pretty safe to assume that you're like me, one of those people who had their life profoundly affected by an admittedly basic monster training RPG.

So today I'm breaking away from comics (though Pokémon has had, like, a MILLION manga spin-offs and such) to look at the 10 Pokémon that are just so god damn cool when you think about it that you wish they were real. Except the ones that would just kill you. I mean fuck those guys.

SEE WHAT POKÉMON MADE THE CUT BY HITTING THE JUMP!


#10: Probopass
This dude has facial hair that no man can truly beat. Screw his moveset, strengths, weaknesses, whatever. He wins. Because that EV-trained lv.100 Arceus you love so much or whatever? Does NOT have this fucking Moustache. And it IS capitalised. Just because it's so hardcore. Like the Dad you always wished you had, he has the wisdom that only those who know the true art of Moustache can have. And that's why he's on this list. That and I'm pretty sure his ears are stone bird-heads, which makes your arguments invalid.


#9: Blastoise
Blastoise does NOT fuck around. Every other Pokémon out there is just a creature using its abilities to fight and survive. Not Blastoise. No, Blastoise saw his chance to outshine them all and through the sheer power of evolution grew TWO HUGE FUCKING CANNONS OUT OF ITS BACK PURELY TO KILL A BITCH WITH!! He'll stare you down and hurt you. And sure he's tubby, but you try and burn him and he will SOAK YOU!


#8: Houndoom
Dude's straight-up just a HELLHOUND. I mean Houndoom is a creature of hell, walking amongst the living, burning up their Pikachus. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?! Oh, devil horns and some bones on the outside? Flame breath? If you can find a way to get three of these guys on a shirt with a moon we're ALL gonna be rich, and you know it.


#7: Ledian
Are you a teensy little ladybird? No. Can you punch the shit out of things with your many, many arms? Hell no! Then Ledian owns your arse. Doesn't hurt that it's bloody adorable either.


#6: Hitmonchan
He's SUPPOSED to be Jackie Chan. But Hitmonchan doesn't buy into that. Instead he's decided to just be a boxer. That's right, this Pokémon is so badass that he's defied his very name and decided to just punch dudes in the face. Perhaps even harder than Batman can. Just think about that for a minute.


#5: Hitmonlee
Named after Bruce Lee. Kicks things. That and we can all agree that Bruce Lee is better than Jackie Chan, yes? Good. Because things'd get ugly if you disagreed with this headless freak.


#4: Sharpedo
You know why these reasons are getting smaller. Because the pictures speak for themselves. Observe: THIS POKÉMON IS A FUCKING TORPEDO AND A SHARK. AT THE SAME TIME!


#3: Muk

*ahem* GIRUGAMUK!

#2: Honchkrow
Honchkrow is the Godfather. A traditional gangster of a Pokémon, who'll make you offers you can't refuse, or you'll sleep with the fishes. Which, being a crow... He's probably eat. Along with your eyes. So you better recognise, respect and really pay attention to anything this crow does. Or you're in a world of hurt from the big don of the Pokéworld. If he extends his wing towards you, you BETTER take it.


#1: Tropius
Imagine you have your own Dinosaur. Yeah, big enough that you can ride it. Cool, right? Now also imagine that it's a tree, with big shady leaves to chill under, and healthy nutritious bananas growing from its neck. Awesome! AND HEALTHY! Now add in the fact that it can fly! AND THAT IT LOOKS LIKE THE MOST AWESOME THING IN THE WORLD AND THAT NOTHING CAN EVER BE BETTER! You've just imagine Tropius. Look at that son of a bitch. You can't beat that. You want to BE it. And moreso to OWN it. And why wouldn't you? It's just that damn cool. It's so cool that just looking at it makes you want to go high-five someone. Go on, go high five someone. I'll wait for you to come back... Done? Good. Because now you know. Tropius is more awesome than anything EVER.
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Kinda-Sorta Primer: The Great Unknown by Duncan Rouleau

Every now and then there's a series that needs a simple plug. Whether it's something with ailing sales that's truly upsetting to see falter and die or a series that comes out with such ridiculous gaps between issues that it risks dropping out of the comic-reading consciousness before it's even over, as is the case with this comic.

Now usually, as we all know, a comic that comes out infrequently is usually related to horribly unprofessional creative teams or debilitating health issues, but every once in a while it's because the creator has more important obligations to maintain, such as Duncan Rouleau's focus on the television show Ben 10.

But as with all delays this one has come to an end and the series I'm priming you on (as far as I understand the concept) is returning in all its glory in April, and I could NOT be more stoked. This series is a gem of a concept from Rouleau and deserves everyone's attention when issue 3 (of 5) hits the stands. So I've taken it upon myself to fill you in on plot, characters and attractive qualities of the series in the hope you jump on board, at least for the eventual (EVENTUAL being the key word) trade that will one day come out.

So with that allow me to tell you all about THE GREAT UNKNOWN.

... after the jump.

JUMP WITH ME INTO THE GREAT UNKNOWN!

What is The Great Unknown?
A comic full of BRIGHT ideas! AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA! Oh GOD someone please stop me making bad jokes! PLEASE!
A 5-issue miniseries written and illustrated by Duncan Rouleau (Metal Men, Ben 10, The Nightmarist), with two issues out at current, The Great Unknown follows Zach Feld, genius inventor/drunken slacker who, when not inebriated and accusing people of a lesser mental station of sleeping with their sisters, constantly attempts to successfully patent any of his million dollar ideas. The only issue is that someone ALWAYS beats him to the punch, no matter what idea he has. His family all perceive him as a hopeless case, to the extent of trying to stage a televised intervention (which our protagonist attempts to run the hell away from). And then out of the blue a mysterious man comes to him with information on who is stealing his ideas, a mysterious corporation called 'iMind'. A mysterious man he's seen before, back in his days as a college student. It also doesn't help that he discovers iMind is auctioning off his ideas to the highest bidder.

Oh and there's some stuff with his ex-girlfriend who used him as part of a book she wrote because he's an inconsiderate drunken arsehole. But then he's MY sort of inconsiderate drunken arsehole so I can't berate him for THAT.

Who are the characters?
Zachary Feld: Our main character and general charming motherflipper (AHAHAHA I FIT FLIP INTO A NEW WORD!), despite generally being a hopeless layabout with a genius intellect. In fact that intellect is described as basically being able to perceive 100 courses of action and working out which takes the least amount of effort. He's also a repulsive drunk who vomits more oft than not and has poor relationships with his ex and his family, due to his abrasive nature. Currently trying to figure out why and how iMind are stealing his genius ideas.

Zebediah 'lil hitler' Feld: Stumpy older brother of Zach and long-term sufferer of his brother's drunken antics. Has a wife called Julie. Appears to want to help Zach with the whole televised intervention antics, but could it be possible that he bears a grudge against Zach for years of brotherly torment? The nickname 'lil Hitler' doesn't exactly inspire confidence in him either.

Momma and Poppa Feld (as I deign to call them): The parents of Zach and Zeb, who have finally grown tired of their younger sons antics and have called out a cable television show for the sake of an intervention. Which makes them weird arseholes. But are they arseholeish enough to steal their sons ideas to sell at iMind?

Buchiner: Mysterious mustachioed man who revealed to Zach the existence of iMind. Was present back in the days Zach was a teaching assisstant/student at college. Wasn't too pleasant back then and spoke with Zach's professor as to getting Zach onto 'their side' (presumably iMind's). Guilt appears to have caught up with him recently due to his revelation to Zach, but could he really be one of the idea stealers, or just a bidder/client for them on the iMind website? Also, he's dead now.

Penny Lee: Ex-girlfiend of Zach who believes she wasted three years of her life with a lazy fool who is full of unfulfilled promises. Currently a popular author with a book based heavily on how much of an arse Zach is. Probably hasn't stolen any of Zach's ideas, simply because this comic needs a love interest, and there's a sadness to her attitude towards him now. An attitude that also involved getting him thrown out of trendy clubs.

Futurehead: Start-up company by neighbours who just so happen to have the iMind lightbulb in their banner. That's not suspect at all right? Also have a crappy slogan that doubles as their internet password. Probably misdirection, but who knows?

iMind: Evil group that sells stolen ideas on what is essentially their own ebay for intellectual properties. Hate them. SEETHE WITH HATE.

What's there to like about The Great Unknown?

• The art. Duncan Rouleau is a genuine comics talent, with vibrant art that goes beyond the norm. everything is perfectly laid out and creatively drawn, from weirdly pretty vomit (seriously that stuff is freakishly well drawn) to what has to be the most well-drawn upside-down person I've ever seen. Which is weird praise but seriously, that upside-down Zach is so well drawn that it's replaced Chamber in my banner (something that I'm sure is mildly surprising to anyone who knows me).
• The writing. It's a complete understatement to call Rouleau's writing on this anything other than incredibly verbose and intricate. Even at its most basic it chock-full of interesting statement after interesting statement, never losing your attention for a second. You seriously cannot find a comic that talks at this length without becoming boring as all hell. THIS is the exception. And maybe Rouleau's Metal Men, but I'm waiting on that to arrive in the mail at the moment.
• The colours. This really falls under art again but it bears seperate mention. The Great Unknown is largely multiple shade of blue, but the colour theme will change to suit various locales or situations (e.g. red for a flashback, a yellowish-orange for the bar interior at the start of the comic, etc.). It's a little touch that keeps the comic captivating and your eyes gooey with veritable glee.
• The opening three pages. All comics need a quality opener, and this manages that with a brilliantly scripted scene of Zach giving a helluva speech to his assailants (something that has not yet occurred within the story yet, as Zach uses that point in time to tell us his tale of woe). Heck, just to whet your appetite for the series' return I'll show you those three pages in all their glory:

Cool stuff, ne?

And that's the comic explained to you. It isn't without its flaws, as with any comic. The lettering appears to have more than a few errors, but it's not really the sort of thing that can detract from the enjoyment of the comic. And hey, if Batman & Robin can get away with switching entire character's statements, then a small series like this can misspell a couple of things. You honestly need to check this series out, as enjoyment is guaranteed.

Also worthy of mention but not actually being shown here are the 1-page stories following each issue focusing on History's greatest arseholes. It's another example of how intelligent and witty the series is in everything it tells you.

Hopefully you enjoyed this quick Kinda-Sorta Primer and I'll update again... Soon! Read More ..

Top Ten: Covers of 2009 [To me, at least]

Last post before Christmas, mainly because I have a much bigger thing to work on that needs doing, but also because CHRISTMAS! So enjoy, and see you back here in a couple of days. NO WAIT READ THE ARTICLE!

Oh, top lists of the year/decade, do you ever end? No? Shame, as most of you are hopelessly generic and pander to a mainstream view of what deserves to be placed in a top ten. And as we've all learned I'm the sort of idiot who will be the only person to vote something as the number 1 comic book storyline, so take from that what you will.

Anyway, here's one of my requisite lists of ____ of the year, with a basic twist. What twist you may ask? Well, I'll tell you:

This year was the first full year I've been back into comics.

So much of this year has been shaped by the various things to do with comics that affected me, and something that decided what comics I would in fact read was often the covers. In fact you could say that comic covers defined what comics I would be into and what sort of comics fan I would become (though in the end aren't we all just angry comic book nerds?). So it's with a head held high that I highlight some of the ten most important covers to my formation as a comic fan this year.

So let's dive in to one of my most important and insightful top tens that is purely about what I like and what shaped me rather than any critical opinion by HITTING THE BLEEDING JUMP!

WHICH IS THIS. THIS IS THE BLEEDIN' JUMP!

10. X-Factor #200 by Esad Ribic

This one's actually a little sneaky. I mean it just came out. But its significance isn't any smaller than the others on this (for once totally in a ranked order) list. As soon as I saw this cover in the solicits I was reminded of why I love X-Factor, why the new direction would be nothing to worry about, and why Esad Ribic is one of the best artists about. My year of full integration into comics suddenly had clarity on how the whole comics industry has the capability to both be art AND captivate in the way only good exciting imagery can. But outside of all that boring personal stuff this is really just a flippin' awesome cover and deserved a mention whilst it's still easy enough to buy in everyone's local comic shop.

9. The Great Unknown #2 by Duncan Rouleau

In a perfect world this would be issue 3, but that NEVER CAME OUT. Still, it WAS this issue that made me realise that independent comics could be awesome, even if it was the next issue image that really sunk that idea into my brain. This cover is beautiful and captivating in its simplicity (as is issue 1, but that's not the example here) and is a great draw in to a great comic if you let it absorb you in the blueness. Also light bulbs!

8. Mighty Avengers #27 50s Decade Variant by Howard Chaykin

I HATE HOWARD CHAYKIN. He's quite a shit artist. In fact he ruined Punisher War Journal for me. Like RUINED. Completely and utterly fucked up what would otherwise have been really enjoyable. So when it came to seeing one of the many brilliant decade variants (seriously I could have done a list just of those) it was with a massive amount of shame that I realised how much I loved this cover. It taught the valuable lesson that no matter how much you hate something there will always be something good to do with them. Like, really good. Same goes for Bendis (ooh deja vu. No seriously not about moaning about Bendis, moreso this entire sentence *ahem* anyway), Loeb and Liefeld (the latter of which ACTUALLY KILLED ME WHEN I REALISED). So yeah, for the sheer importance of this cover, it gets to make it onto this list! That and Hank Pym and Jocasta are adorable in this. Adorable is a manly word right? Good. MOVING ON!

7. Black Panther #3 by J. Scott Campbell

This is a hard one to make sound deep. Because it isn't. No, this is just an example of how one beautiful cover can make me buy something I'd never otherwise touch. And boy was it worth touching. Cover art is a powerful draw and sometimes just being beautiful can be enough to make people pick up something that whilst not life-changing can still influence their interests in a significant way. In fact this cover in particular should have been on the front of the hardcover. Maybe then it'd have sold loads and volume 2 would be a hardcover too (hint: no it wouldn't have been but I'm just destroyed by the lack of HC for volume 2).

6. Superman #686 by Andrew Robinson (I think?)

I can't say I even liked the idea of superman outside of his awesome tv stuff from the 90s (animated, Lois and Clark) at any point ever, so when I say that I love the Superman title now to anyone who's known me long enough it's fairly normal to expect them to be surprised. Then I follow it up by pointing out that Mon-El and the Guardian are the main characters now and they just blink, confused. Still that's not the point (especially now I LOVE Superman, especially Kryptonite and All-Star), the point here is that this cover pulled me into the world of both these obscure characters and I have yet to look back, simply because my GOD is Mon-El awesome in this picture. And in fact the whole series. This is just the incredibly pretty point that pulled me in.

5. Lockjaw & the Pet Avengers #1 by Karl Kerschl

... *ahem* LOOK AT THE ICKLY ANIMALS THEY'RE SO LOVELY I WANT TO TAKE THEM HOME AND CALL THEM ALL SNUGGLES AND LOOK AFTER THEM AND FEED THEM AND HOPE THAT THE SABER-TOOTHED TIGER DOESN'T KILL ME!

.... What? That's not fine logic? Well how about the fact that.... SHUT UP!

4. X-Men Noir #3 by Dennis Calero

When most people bring up how they discovered a love for white space covers they'll usually mention Immortal Iron Fist's covers by David Aja. Well screw those people, because I learnt what I wanted from a cover from this. Which is white space, low detail and a weird amount of depth to the image. In this case we have Eric Magnus, the X-Noir universe's Magneto and Chief of Police, showing his darkness, his brutal abuse of authority and sick pleasure in such an abuse of authority(amongst other things) in just a single image. It's awesome with layers. What more could you want?

3. Detective Comics #855 by JH Williams III

Oh as IF Detective Comics wouldn't make it onto this list. There's nothing much to say about this than that everyone ever thinks that JH Williams has made this series into art and the covers are the definitive proof of this. Especially this one which just hit me straight in the face and the bruise of artsy love has yet to fade. Wait... Is that almost a metaphor for spousal abuse? Man, I should stop writing before I put my foot in my mouth by saying something about kitchen's and sammiches.

... Except I have two more to list.

2. All New Savage She-Hulk 90s Decade Variant by Juan Doe

Wait, this seems familiar. Didn't I declare this my favourite example of a good comic cover a long, long time ago? I DID?! AND I STAND BY IT?! GOOD GOD WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!

No joke though, whilst my opinions from back then are mostly redundant, this stands as an example of a cover just blowing me away and holds a helluva place in my heart that no other comic cover will replace. Yet it's in at #2. So perhaps I should shut upa and just say that it kicks all sort of arse and is the best decade variant Marvel did this year. That and the obvious significance here is that it's one of the first covers I ever wrote about and the fact that it has continued to stay amazing to me (probably because of said early blog usage) has earnt it its place at #2.

#1. Nomad #3 by Rafael Albuquerque

Well, if you've been around the site long enough (and none of you have) you all know why this is here. I am a MASSIVE fanboy of Rikki Barnes. In fact I'm a massive fanboy of Lyra too, explaining this top two (And of Batwoman... Wait is this a pattern?). That and this is amazing. All the covers to this limited series are, utilising Red, White and Blue to great effect to make covers that arrest the eyes. This one wins out over everything ever though for actually having the ability to make me just stare at it mindlessly for ages. But as we all know, the real reason this is here is because Rikki Barnes has been a crucial part of this blog's history and her Nomad series just happened to have flippin' amazing covers. I can't emphasise how much this has been a part of my first year back in comics and just how much I like this cover. So I won't. I'll just finish this post.




Honourable mentions go to Ambush Bug: Year None #6 (never came out but by GOD is it pretty), all the covers to Chew (which I learned of too late so didn't count really) and about a million others. Now I must sleep. HARD.
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Top Ten: Comic Story Arcs

Whilst my attempts to make the site more accessible, rebooted, prettier and generally more respectable are going along at a far better pace than expected I'm sure that no-one will check the site when it's done if I don't post once in a while. As such I'm taking a leaf from the brilliant Ryan K. Lindsay of Stinkbrown fame and doing a TOP TEN COMIC ARCS! Heck, everyone should do one! START A REVOLUTION!

In a slightly shocking move this won't consist entirely of New Mutants arcs peppered with other X-Teams (GOOD GOD HAVE I GONE MAD?!) and spread itself over as many different and diverse comics as possible. Which considering one of my favourites here covers a million or so comics won't be that surprising.


(in a rare move by myself these aren't in any order, simply to save over-thinking on the subject)

1. Detective Comics: Elegy by Greg Rucka & J.H. Williams III (#854-857)

I'm sure that some people might groan at how recent this is, but then those people obviously haven't read this outstanding example of how to do an opening arc right AND as a piece of art. I mean seriously, it hit fast and hard with the plot, threw in tons of natural feeling elements, hinted at Batwoman's origin and had one of the best twists in comic history (though I'm sure it's a little corny). Still even if that was non-existent this arc stood out amongst all the others I've considered because of how well the art is implemented. Switching tone entirely depending on the content of the story with layouts so insanely beautiful grown men have been known to weep (or at least write a review that opens on the word fuck in big, bold, orange writing). A story arc that did EVERYTHING right and punched you in the gut, this has truly earned its place in this top ten.


2. Daredevil: Battlin' Jack Murdock by Zeb Wells & Carmine Di Giandomenico (#1-4)

Sometimes the thing that can truly make an arc is the flow and narrative structure, especially between issues. As such this Marvel Knights limited series captured that crucial part of a comic arc to a tee, using the 4 round final fight of Jack Murdock to frame the story of him and his son (you might know him, he's that Matt Murdock bloke. Blind, bit horny, you know) to great effect, along with the simple notion of how a person's perception of strength and what makes you strong can be completely wrong. That's really all I need to say about this story arc other than the brilliant writing and art by Zeb and Carmine. If you haven't read this then you might well have missed one of the best Daredevil arcs of all time. And heck, it doesn't even really STAR Daredevil!


3. Kraven's Last Hunt/Fearful Symmetry by J.M. Dematteis & Mike Zeck (WoSM #31-32, ASM #293-294 and SSM #131-132)

The things I could say about Spider-Man arcs and how much I love them could very well fill a very large and useless encyclopaedia and with good reason; between this, Death of Jean DeWolffe, Marvel Knights Spider-Man #1-12, Changes and The Other, Spider-Man has never failed to produce some of the best arcs of all time! Kraven's Last Hunt particularly stands out due to a combination of sophisticated plot elements (I could just straight up write an essay on the examination of Kraven in this comic and his grasp on obsession and insanity, or heck just quote the poem that runs throughout the comic) and some of the most exciting scenes in any Spider-Man comic EVARR. Seriously Kraven hunting Spider-Man at the start has to be one of the most heart-stopping scenes in any comic. One of the best arcs and in fact one of the best comics ever.

Oh and I should probably mention the magic that is how Dematteis claims this comic evolved and formed itself more than he created it (seriously buy the TPB, he explains it) and how it did the unheard act of running across all the Spidey titles to get the tale out quicker and to show focus exclusively on this epic story. 'Nuff said?

4. New Mutants: Legion by Chris Claremont & Bill Sienkiewicz (#26-28)

Okay you knew I'd address something to do with New Mutants eventually, so just be glad that I mentioned three other arcs before getting to this gem. Up until this point in the series New Mutants had been a brilliant if incredibly corny gem for me, with only Nova Roma standing up as a truly awesome comic arc, so when it finally came to hit the big mystery nail on the head of what the hell the deal was with Xavier's unknown son I wasn't quite ready for how awesome this arc turned out to be. And it WAS awesome. Aided to no end by Bill Sien... Sience... SIENKIEWICZ, this was a captivating piece of art for me and absorbed me into the mind of Chris Claremont's mad world of Legion's mind with the same ease that the characters themselves were thrown into it. the story didn't miss a beat and most importantly did what all good comic arcs should do. It made me want to read the next issue so badly that I just couldn't wait! If your comic can do that then you're on the path to greatness!

... Well all that and I bloody LOVE the New Mutants.


5. Secret Wars II by Jim Shooter & Al Milgrom et al (Don't Get Me Started)

Jim Shooter is a bit of a cunt. I'm not talking Ronald Perelman "complete and utter bastard ruining Marvel comics" cunt, just a bit cuntish. A tiny bit. Despite that small handicap Shooter managed to write what might very well be my favourite event of all time; SECRET WARS II. Turning the idea of comic flow on its head, SWII managed to have EVERYTHING change between each of its nine issues, to the degree that if you were just following the event comic itself you'd probably lose track of who the Beyonder actually is. In fact that would probably be a schizophrenic arc at best. No, it's when you see the bigger picture, where anywhere up to five different series would further the complete story, showing the Beyonder's exploration of humanity through the heroes he's met through his time on earth and how that shapes him between each issue of the greater picture. In all the time I've put into reading Marvel comics lately (I remind you I'm trying to find the 50 best Marvel comics of all time) I haven't read anything quite like this and I have to say that if all current events did this... Well it'd be bloody interesting. A crossover between crossovers and events this stands as a testament to how being completely different can be completely amazing. Heck I stand by that so much I'm buying the freakin' omnibus!


6. X-Men Icons - Chamber: The Hollow Man by Brian K. Vaughan & Lee Ferguson (#1-4)

Let's be honest now, you haven't read this. Heck as far as I SHOULD be concerned I haven't read it either. Except I did, having to shamefully resort to downloading the issues online (as I type this I've spied a relatively cheap bundle of all 4 issues on ebay I may order on thursday though, so disregard that). For whatever reason this balls-blisteringly brilliant limited series hasn't surfaced in trade form yet, a tragedy and no mistake. This comic managed to...

...

... Okay at this point I'd just be reiterating how well narrated and structured a comic can be so instead of all that usual crap I'll say this: this comic makes Chamber even more awesome than he was before. I KNOW! I'm not even saying that as a fanboy *shuffles banner with Chamber on it out of the way* but from the simple knowledge that BKV turned him into a brilliant tool to show how the prejudice against mutants isn't restricted to humans as he interacts with the arc's other prominent character Amber, a shape-shifting reptilian mutant woman with the major hots for the then-faceless wonder. Possibly my favourite limited series of all time (I say stuff like that a lot, so ignore that statement if you must), this... Is REALLY hard to explain to the full extent I should! READ IT! NOW! GO DO IT AND SAVE ME THE EFFORT OF STRUGGLING WITH THIS BUM-LICKING!

... Okay? Good.

(side note: look forward to me moaning about how I should write a Chamber ongoing series in a future article)


7. New X-Men - E is for Extinction by Grant Morrison & Frank Quitely (#114-116)

"Oh look someone saying that a part of Morrison's New X-Men was one of the best comic arcs what a surprise he must be a genius to think so ahahahaha-"

SHUT UP!... Wait who was that? Never mind, the point is that some series will obviously appear in lists like these and this is one of those series that was guaranteed to crop up at some point. It's almost such a guarantee that I don't need to explain how this arc took a series that had been stale to a ridiculous degree and changed EVERYTHING. Up was down, black was white and the X-Men had learnt how to be mature instead of edgy. Oh and it wiped out an island of mutants, beating the arse off of the far more recent mutant removal of a crazy woman using powers beyond the scope of reason to fuck shit up (though I do actually like House of M). Morrison did it all right here and then kept up that level of power in his stories right up until the end... Well except for Here Comes Tomorrow, that wasn't quite as good but shut up I'm making a point here.


8. Generation X: The Third Genesis by Scott Lobdell & Chris Bachalo (#1-3)

... It MIGHT be because Chamber is in it. MAYBE. It certainly isn't because Skin is in it and even less so that Jubilee is in it. It MIGHT be because Banshee is in it. Oh and Penance, who is genuinely intriguing, especially when she interacts with Chamber. Heck it might be because the first issue was REALLY SHINY. This is pure self-indulgence. I love this arc and as such it stands up here with the other 9 as the best comic arcs I've read. Sure it's not very professional but no-one can tell me I'm wrong this way! WAHAHAHAHA! *ahem* Uh... Moving on...


9. Animal Man: Deus Ex Machina by Grant Morrison et al (#18-26)

MORE Grant Morrison?! Creative choices, eh? This is notably more credible with the artsy crowd than my million and one mutant-related picks. This is the famous arc that took the 4th wall and bent it over and made it Morrison's bitch. Not just that but the comic evolved past everything it had already become to be a spookily sombre insight into the incredibly self aware mind of Morrison, to a degree I don't believe any other comic writer would have allowed. Not just that but the ending isn't even happy. AT ALL! It fills you soul with sadness (with that crucial tinge of hope, a light shining in the darkness) and leaves you slightly in despair. Oh and it's from when Morrison wasn't a Lex Luthor lookalike. For those reasons and more this is one of my favourite arcs of all time.

(Want another reason? I love the Psycho Pirate. However we won't dive into that here, for my obsession with mentally unstable characters is something to be addressed in a future post)


10. Phonogram: Rue Britannia by Kieron Gillen & Jamie Mckelvie (#1-6)

And finally we come to a series that isn't about superheroes, has no pretty colours and fucking hates Kula Shaker. Yes, Phonogram: Rue Britannia. An epic tale of Phonomancy, Retromancy and a jaded Phallocrat disguised as an intricate look into the creator's attachment to a musical era long dead (wait, that's the wrong way around, reverse that), Phonogram captivates the true Brit in me and twists its melons until all that remains is a slack jawed comic fan who's been amazed by one of the best comic stories out there. I can't speak for The Single Club (the follow-up series) as I haven't read it yet, but this arc is flippin' brilliant and has managed to be the only independant series apparently deserving of such a position in this Top 10. Read More ..

Flip The Page Review: Nomad - Girl Without A World #1 (of 4)

So... It's here. I've made it quite clear that Nomad: Girl Without A World has been my most anticipated book of the year. So much so that if this had the slightest flaw I'd be crestfallen in my non-stop boot licking of it.

So has it lived up to my expectations? Well..... Yes. Yes it has. BUT! And it's a big but, it does have flaws. Hefty ones at that. As such this review will probably consist of me switching from loving purrs to demented screaming with each passing moment.

With that in mind hit the jump and enter the world of Nomad: GWAW issue 1 by McKeever, BALDeon and Sotomayor!

I'm not sure what I could say about Rikki Barnes and how much I like her character that I haven't gotten across in my rampant fanboyism these past few months. The only thing I can add is I'm not a fan of ANY Heroes Reborn material. I mean it's weak, awful and just a lame retelling of silver age Marvel comics. Through all of that crap very little shone. Rikki was one of those things. Later on into it she continued to look more and more awesome, from Onslaught Reborn (lame) to Thunderbolts (fucking awesome!), with nothing that could stop her rampage through my list of favourite comic book characters. Her appearance in Cap #600 cemented that and whet my anticipation for any future appearances and then some. So I'm pretty fucking stoked about all of this and especially at the concept of more her. But enough of that, let's talk about the creative team a bit.

I admit to having to do a fair amount of research here. I mean outside of some okay Blue Beetle work I can't say I've ever heard of penciller David Baldeon and can't find any other reason that I should have. A bit of poking around Marvel's catalog reveals he's also drawn two random issues of some Marvel Adventures titles so you can understand it when I say that the man needs A LOT MORE PRACTISE. I mean Baldeon can draw Rikki really well and THAT... IS... IT. Every other character (save perhaps Cap's small appearance and the mystery monster thing) just looks poor. Not terrible, but far from noteworthy. REALLY FAR. I can only hope he improves over the next 3 issues.

Writer Sean McKeever is slightly more familiar territory, having written Teen Titans (which a lot of people wish he hadn't written), Young Inhumans (which I don't much care for), a Gravity limited series (which I've never heard of) and some crap from Countdown to Final Crisis (which... OH SH-

COUNTDOWN TO FINAL CRISIS?!

Fuck me that isn't a series you'd want to be connected to! That's almost like saying you played a part in... not the holocaust... Something awful but not so bad it'd be beyond belief... I guess that'd be the creation of Twilight would be a similar case for this analogy... *ahem* where was I?

So yeah McKeever doesn't have a good history and that changes here. This is strong stuff despite how basic it can be at times. Not ground-breaking but certainly some of the best I've seen this year.

Finally I've gotta point out the awesome colours by Chris Sotomayor, who it seems has coloured a lot of vibrant pretty stuff I've read, from Lockjaw & The Pet Avengers (PRETTY!) to Dark Reign: Young Avengers (PRETTY!) and She-Hulk (PRETTY!) and even Skaar: Son of Hulk (PRE- oh you get the idea!). This is no exception, providing the sort of rich art that keeps your eyes focused on the page, something that all those miserable grimy looking CG-painted comics should well keep in mind.

Done with that? Okay moments time!

1. NO! DON'T REMIND THEM!

Lesson 1 in making a series look buyable, Marvel: DON'T REMIND THEM OF SHITTY OLD STUFF! Seriously how they decided that having ANYTHING Heroes Reborn-looking in the book was a good idea is beyond me. Sure some of you would clip me round the ear and say 'it's just a credits page, get over it' but this is... ugh... awful. Looks awful, reminds me of awful things.

That and "Guiding Lights: Loeb and Liefeld"? Pretentious much?

2. Strangely Hot?/YESYESYESYES

I've brought this up before but I must again; Rikki looks weirdly good doing her exercise stuff here. I guess when you're drawing someone with a slightly muscular build you have to know how to make 'em look good maintaining it. Just a tiny detail but I stopped and took note of it flippin' through so it's worthy of being mentioned in the review. Also her excitement at the police report is a brilliant little moment. Or perhaps I'm obsessing too much now.

3. Awesome Layouts 101

There's not much I can say here again, as I'm basically pointing out things that are awesome on a basic level, with no need for an increased insight. This is just a brilliant page layout, with my focus being drawn to Rikki in her little panel-in-a-panel thing and a good looking fight going on outside of that. It's all very visually pleasing and an example of how by doing something so basic you can be doing something oh so right.

4. eh....

Okay a kinda nice moment I'm sure, with Rikki's insecurities and need to meet Cap showing slightly and Black Widow sounding kind of considerate with her rejection. this would be a nice character moment if it weren't for how bitchy it seems for Black Widow to not even give BuckyCap info on who she is or that it was even a hero she was talking to... But then I just hate Black Widow nowadays so just ignore me.

5. Something Crooked WILL Happen, I Guarantee It

Rikki Barnes in the same learning institution as her alternate earth version of her brother, spending lots of time around him and not informing him he's her brother? Yeah that won't lead to an almost incestful "whoops" moment. Not at all.

6. McKeever & co.: Totally up on the trends

Okay let's look at these tops.

• Binary Code
• "The Dude Abides"
• A Misfits band tee

Yeah THOSE are trendy! It's like a hopelessly out of touch old person taking guesses at what sorta things 'those kids today' like. Cringeworthy. Other notable tops include

• ME > U
• DOPE
• and a Manchester United football tee

Lame.

I'm also tempted to coin a new art disease known as "Daffy Face"... Not as catchy as Youngblood's Disease sadly...

7. Finally, Some Rikki Action!

2 pages of actual fighting kinda! This is probably the tiniest gripe this comic has given me, simply because I'd have liked to see more fighting. Not that I'd want anything else cut down. I'm just saying I wanted a 50-page comic. For all 4 issues. *dreams wearily*

8. RUN!

I admit this isn't a particularly cool or pretty moment or anything, just incredibly eye-catching and a brilliant reminder that heroes can actually take up a flight mentality when need be. Humanises Rikki further (we needed that?) and serves as a decent reminder to all those other comics to know that characters can feel like running off from a situation, especially if they're too injured.

9. "Nomad Eyes Only?"

And we end on an awesome reveal of a case, containing the Nomad costume for Rikki. My money's on it being left by Black Widow. I mean surely she can meet BuckyCap if she's not a Bucky herself, right? That and it'll lead to her stuff next issue with The Falcon or whatnot. Also, am I the only one noting "file: Nomad Eyes Only"? What the fuck does that mean? Do you have to already BE Nomad? Or is it saying "File: Nomad" then "eyes only", like you can look at the envelope that says Nomad but woe fucking betide you if you touch it! It's retarded is what it is!

... Wait aren't I supposed to be praising this as one of my books of the year?

And that's the comic. Sure I'm ribbing on it hard in places, but it's still a brilliant comic that just about came close to matching my expectations (that would have been understandably lower if I had researched some of the creators more thoroughly early on). It's worthy of buying and certainly looks like it will get better and better with the future solicits. So of course we come to the rating:

Flippin' MUST READ!

Next up: A review of something I never thought I'd read, followed by a newspost explaining that I'm fucking off for a while.
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