Thought Balloons: Update + Renee Montoya pg.3

Another week, another entry at Thought Balloons, and as such another update on the blog. This week brought about a character I know not nearly enough about, except that he's Daredevil and I own at least two books about him/his father. Which counts for knowledge, right?

Daredevil - His Worst Enemy

Again, this entry came with a lesson learnt. When trying to be clever with SFX, at least TRY to make them work. I did a little Thought Balloon based in-joke, that whilst a good idea, had a pretty lousy execution. So lesson learnt, sound effects will be thought about far more in the future.

And with that it's time for another page of my 12-page Wednesday Comics size epic! This entry is a bit text heavy, but that's the advantage of trying to utilise a grander space for each page, really. And even then, over-narration? Kinda a noir trope in its own way.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

RENEE MONTOYA - NOIR AS HECK

Page 3 - X Panels

1-- Renee Montoya is walking down a dark alleyway in the black of night. In front of her by some distance is an indistinct slumped shadow curled up against a wall, shapeless and slender.

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - So here I am, on another dark night in another dark alley, looking for some clues about these "Beastly Gentlemen". Hhh. Beasts, she said. I don't know anything about them, but I DO know about a Bat. Seems as good as any a place to begin.


2--Renee is now next to the slumped shadow, who we can now see looks like a withered shadow of Batman, in that the shadow clearly has something that looks like a cape and pointy bat ears. Renee is looking down at the shadow disdainfully, and grabbing a torch from her belt.

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - I don't even know why I'm doing this. The lady... THAT lady... Is clearly manipulating me somehow. I mean no broad talks like that, do they? To say nothing of what she was... Doing... That was... Where was I?


3-- Renee kicks the Bat-Shadow as hard as she possible can, the shadow's body crumpling around her foot.

SFX/KICK - KA-THWUMP

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - Oh yeah. I HATE The Bat.


4-- Renee has turned on the torch and is waving it at The Bat. The Bat is a crazy looking tramp with overlong canines, a long shawl that looks like a cape, and a mask made out of soggy cardboard. A mask that looks an awful lot like Batman's.

SFX/TORCH - KLIK

SPEECH BUBBLE/THE BAT - GAH! WHARRAYA WAN'?!

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - Crazed son of a bitch. Years ago his family were shot down in this very alley. Since then he's been stuck in a deranged state of mind, refusing to leave this godforsaken little alley. Still, he hears things. And if there's one thing a P.I. needs in a city like this it's someone with good ears. Even if he is The Bat. That Bat for Bat$#!t, obviously.


5-- Renee has grabbed The Bat by his shawl and pinned him to wall, leaning in, yelling in his face. She's shouting so hard that spit is flying from her mouth at The Bat.

SPEECH BUBBLE/RENEE MONTOYA - LISTEN! I want to know about some strange men. A group of them. Carouse with a Woman In White, a fake-tanned sort. Beasts, I'm told. DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING?!


6-- The Bat is now responding, horrible green clouds of rotten breath spewing forth from his mouth. He has maybe two teeth in total left in his mouth. Renee is leaning back, cringing, screwing up her face in an attempt to hold her breath.

SPEECH BUBBLE/THE BAT - Ya, I know about the beasties. They a... Uh... 'ligious people. Mus' be. Tha's why they go to... Urp... The Dark Bible! Now LEMME GO!

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - There has to be a better way than talking to this schmoe, I swear.


7-- Renee throws The Bat back to the ground.

SFX - THUDD

SPEECH BUBBLE/RENEE MONTOYA - Urgh... That'll do Bat. You go back to protecting "your world".

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - Still, I have a lead. The Dark Bible. It's not a religious place at all, you see. The Bat's confused. It's the most high-class strip joint around here. And it adds a new level of fear to my job. I'd better head straight there...


8-- Renee is now at one end of the alley, with the reader viewing from the other end. The Bat has curled back up against the wall, and Renee's silhouette is being violently sick onto the floor.

SFX/RENEE MONTOYA - HURRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGLE!!

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - Right after I've purged this whole experience from my body...



To be continued next week!