Lazy Sunday: Beta Ray Bill Rocks Out

SO LAZY IT COMES OUT ON A MONDAY!

Steps to a successful image of awesome:

1. Buy a Beta Ray Bill Marvel Legends.

2. Buy a Transformers Animated Soundwave

3. Give Soundwave's Guitar to Beta Ray Bill

4. Sit back in awe of the wonder before you:

Yes.

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Friday List: Top 10 Awesome Pokémon

Be honest. You love Pokémon. You still play it, and sometimes you feel the need to check out the TV show or card game just to see if they still exist. You moan every time they reveal new Pokémon for upcoming games, but still form new favourites and get excited about the game's release. Deep down you're still that child who played Pokémon for the first time, absolutely entranced by what you saw and what you did. And heck, it warms your heart every time you see a kid experience this crucial part of your history for the first time, becoming as enraptured as you were at their age.

... Okay, I'm projecting a bit. But it's pretty safe to assume that you're like me, one of those people who had their life profoundly affected by an admittedly basic monster training RPG.

So today I'm breaking away from comics (though Pokémon has had, like, a MILLION manga spin-offs and such) to look at the 10 Pokémon that are just so god damn cool when you think about it that you wish they were real. Except the ones that would just kill you. I mean fuck those guys.

SEE WHAT POKÉMON MADE THE CUT BY HITTING THE JUMP!


#10: Probopass
This dude has facial hair that no man can truly beat. Screw his moveset, strengths, weaknesses, whatever. He wins. Because that EV-trained lv.100 Arceus you love so much or whatever? Does NOT have this fucking Moustache. And it IS capitalised. Just because it's so hardcore. Like the Dad you always wished you had, he has the wisdom that only those who know the true art of Moustache can have. And that's why he's on this list. That and I'm pretty sure his ears are stone bird-heads, which makes your arguments invalid.


#9: Blastoise
Blastoise does NOT fuck around. Every other Pokémon out there is just a creature using its abilities to fight and survive. Not Blastoise. No, Blastoise saw his chance to outshine them all and through the sheer power of evolution grew TWO HUGE FUCKING CANNONS OUT OF ITS BACK PURELY TO KILL A BITCH WITH!! He'll stare you down and hurt you. And sure he's tubby, but you try and burn him and he will SOAK YOU!


#8: Houndoom
Dude's straight-up just a HELLHOUND. I mean Houndoom is a creature of hell, walking amongst the living, burning up their Pikachus. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?! Oh, devil horns and some bones on the outside? Flame breath? If you can find a way to get three of these guys on a shirt with a moon we're ALL gonna be rich, and you know it.


#7: Ledian
Are you a teensy little ladybird? No. Can you punch the shit out of things with your many, many arms? Hell no! Then Ledian owns your arse. Doesn't hurt that it's bloody adorable either.


#6: Hitmonchan
He's SUPPOSED to be Jackie Chan. But Hitmonchan doesn't buy into that. Instead he's decided to just be a boxer. That's right, this Pokémon is so badass that he's defied his very name and decided to just punch dudes in the face. Perhaps even harder than Batman can. Just think about that for a minute.


#5: Hitmonlee
Named after Bruce Lee. Kicks things. That and we can all agree that Bruce Lee is better than Jackie Chan, yes? Good. Because things'd get ugly if you disagreed with this headless freak.


#4: Sharpedo
You know why these reasons are getting smaller. Because the pictures speak for themselves. Observe: THIS POKÉMON IS A FUCKING TORPEDO AND A SHARK. AT THE SAME TIME!


#3: Muk

*ahem* GIRUGAMUK!

#2: Honchkrow
Honchkrow is the Godfather. A traditional gangster of a Pokémon, who'll make you offers you can't refuse, or you'll sleep with the fishes. Which, being a crow... He's probably eat. Along with your eyes. So you better recognise, respect and really pay attention to anything this crow does. Or you're in a world of hurt from the big don of the Pokéworld. If he extends his wing towards you, you BETTER take it.


#1: Tropius
Imagine you have your own Dinosaur. Yeah, big enough that you can ride it. Cool, right? Now also imagine that it's a tree, with big shady leaves to chill under, and healthy nutritious bananas growing from its neck. Awesome! AND HEALTHY! Now add in the fact that it can fly! AND THAT IT LOOKS LIKE THE MOST AWESOME THING IN THE WORLD AND THAT NOTHING CAN EVER BE BETTER! You've just imagine Tropius. Look at that son of a bitch. You can't beat that. You want to BE it. And moreso to OWN it. And why wouldn't you? It's just that damn cool. It's so cool that just looking at it makes you want to go high-five someone. Go on, go high five someone. I'll wait for you to come back... Done? Good. Because now you know. Tropius is more awesome than anything EVER.
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Manga Focus: Beet The Vandel Buster

Generic isn't always a bad thing, you realise. The implication that a story being by the numbers or conceptually something we've seen a million times before doesn't inherently make it BAD. I mean heck, nearly every single shonen manga churned out from Shueisha in the last two decades has been conceptually the same thing, which is assumed to mostly be King Generic's fault (King Generic in this piece is played by Dragon Ball).

Let's just put the obvious out there as to how 90% of shonen manga are nowadays. First take a naive boy. Now give him a special talent or something he excels at despite other failings. Give him some insurmountable thing to face that can only be beaten through love, friendship and hope. Oh and while you're at it we're gonna need a brooding anti-hero with black hair and an inability to JUST ABOUT reach the heights of the main character, even if he started off being far more talented. Finally the cherry on top, a stubborn girl who despite constantly being annoyed by the main character's actions slowly falls for him, worn down over time. Heck, be adventurous, throw in a side character or two, an old friend who's lost his way, a teacher who has something mysterious about him, and another girl who is far more outgoing and love crazy than the main character's love interest. With larger breasts.

So, what shonen manga have I made there? MOST of them? Yes. Yes, I have. But then almost half the manga that fit this template have a gimmick, a unique selling point that pulls it above the rest. And those, those generic little beauts, are the BEST generic shonen manga out there.

Which brings me to today's focus (yeah it's late, I know), a manga that sounded so generic that I almost passed it up. But it does everything just so... tweaked to perfection, utilising each trope perfectly, that it truly deserves a look from each and every one of you. Even Clive over there in the corner. Yeah, you see him. Glare at the bastard for not already owning this series. The bastard.

.... What? Oh yeah, HIT THE JUMP TO READ MANGA FOCUS!


What Is It?: Beet the Vandel Buster is a shonen series from Koji Inaba and Riku Sanjo about a young boy in a world of monsters, where humans often choose to stand up to the monsters and their leaders, the Vandels by becoming Busters, warriors of might and magic who are out to make the lives of the humans of the world just that little bit easier in such oppressive times. The young boy (Beet) idolised a group of these "Busters" and one day became one himself to follow in their footsteps. This was admittedly poorly timed, as one of the strongest Vandels in existence attacked Beet's hometown, his heroes the Zenon Warriors attempted to save them all and (SPOILER!) Beet's youthful arrogance almost gets himself killed. For Beet's life to be saved the Zenon warriors (which it turned out was led by Beet's older brother, a fact revealed as they saved Beet's life) they had to give him their Saigas, magical weapons powered by the elements. Without their weapons they fought on, appeared to all be killed, and Beet decided to live on and fight in their memory.

That's the initial premise anyway. From there it became a series about Beet and his "fiancée" Paola building a team of warriors and taking on the strongest Vandels, who begin to target Beet and his team for their slights against them and the promising power within Beet himself.

It is ALSO a series that went on hiatus 4 years ago when the artist Koji Inada fell ill, and has yet to have had even a hint of continuing to this day, leaving the current volume count at 12, with a VERY awkward cut-off point mid-fight. But we'll try to ignore that for the minute, shall we?

What's So Great About It?: I have to heap praise on the characters on display in the series. The humans are pretty much entirely stocks, albeit stock characters done to a fine degree. Beet is the weirdly relaxed/serious when he REALLY needs to be hero with unusual talent and an inability to pay attention to big problems along the way. His ignorance and goofiness are endearing because he can switch just like that into a fighter, ready to do anything to protect the people he cares about. Paola is the standard grumpy love-interest who denies being a love interest, frustrated at how far behind her team-mates she believes herself to be. But of course behind that is a person capable of something great that none of the others on the team can do, with a soft spot in her heart for Beet and a readiness to do crazy things to save the day. That small change is endearing compared to other Shonen heroines, who are usually just left at the 'weaker than everyone else' stage for an eternity or two. Then there's the other team-mates, the most notable of which being Slade, a gruff, miserable looking black-haired ally who hides his caring and respect for someone who he mostly treats as a nuisance and a weaker rival. The stock for this sort of anti-hero type is broken in that he learns to display his respect for others more openly as the series progresses, and even learns his faults and deals with his mistakes over time. It's captivating.

But the REAL stars here are the Vandels, giant demonic humanoid demons, who all have their own personalities and strategies, with different motivations for how they act and an unpredictable element that often shows that when you JUST ABOUT think you know them you're proven wrong. This is something we see most notably with Grineed, the first big-time Vandel Beet & company take on. At first he just seems to be a calm, collected and suave Vandel, intent on taking out any promising Busters before they can become anything more than amateurs. But as the series progresses we see that he's also a calculating, ruthless bastard who plans everything he does to perfection, all to hide that deep down he's a hyper-aggressive and super strong monster whose rage drives away all around him. And this upsets him. It straight up makes him cry out in despair at one point when his true form is revealed to all, showing him for the brute that he is. It's actually one of the more emotional turns in the story, as you emphasise for the enemy who just wants to be more than he was created as. I mean the Vandels don't choose who they are. They're made and they be exactly what they are. And he just didn't want to be that. Which is heart-breaking and a true credit to both the stellar writing and the art.

Oh, the art! I should definitely talk about the art. Koji Inada brought something spectacular to the table with Beet the Vandel Buster, bringing his inimitable style from Dragon Quest: Dai's Great Adventure (which sadly ISN'T out in english) to a new level. The faces were better defined, the proportions felt tighter. And the expressions carried a lot more impact. Again, the main praise here has to go to the Vandels, who all look so different from each other and anything else I've seen that it boggles the mind how he managed to create them. But then I guess with him and Riku Sanjo working together for so long (they both worked on the aforementioned Dragon Quest series for EIGHT YEARS) they'd surely know how to take any crazy thought they'd have and put it down perfectly on paper.

... Wait, so basically I could have just made all this section shorter by saying "WHAT MAKES THIS SERIES SO GREAT?! THE FUCKING VANDELS!"? Bugger.

Is It Worth Buying?: Honestly? Kinda-sorta. If you can live with the fact that there's a 99.9999% chance that the current arc will NEVER finish and that the series is effectively over for good now then yes. Seriously, without the hiatus issue looming over everything this is the dog's bollocks, a perfect example of how you can take something generic in concept and craft a perfect world around it, defying the limitations of the thoroughly stereotypical Shonen genre. And even if you don't care about stuff like that, this is a pretty cool footnote in manga, being a key series for Monthly Shonen Jump when it was around, with a dedicated following and being a decent success at that. And I like to think that maybe, just maybe it'll come back, and those who've experienced it will rocket it to the heights it's always deserved.

That and it's bitching. You can get the current 12 volumes at Amazon (UK) and really, why wouldn't you? Aside from the huge and obvious reason. But as I said earlier, let's just ignore that, shall we?
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Thought Balloons: Update + Renee Montoya pg.3

Another week, another entry at Thought Balloons, and as such another update on the blog. This week brought about a character I know not nearly enough about, except that he's Daredevil and I own at least two books about him/his father. Which counts for knowledge, right?

Daredevil - His Worst Enemy

Again, this entry came with a lesson learnt. When trying to be clever with SFX, at least TRY to make them work. I did a little Thought Balloon based in-joke, that whilst a good idea, had a pretty lousy execution. So lesson learnt, sound effects will be thought about far more in the future.

And with that it's time for another page of my 12-page Wednesday Comics size epic! This entry is a bit text heavy, but that's the advantage of trying to utilise a grander space for each page, really. And even then, over-narration? Kinda a noir trope in its own way.

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RENEE MONTOYA - NOIR AS HECK

Page 3 - X Panels

1-- Renee Montoya is walking down a dark alleyway in the black of night. In front of her by some distance is an indistinct slumped shadow curled up against a wall, shapeless and slender.

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - So here I am, on another dark night in another dark alley, looking for some clues about these "Beastly Gentlemen". Hhh. Beasts, she said. I don't know anything about them, but I DO know about a Bat. Seems as good as any a place to begin.


2--Renee is now next to the slumped shadow, who we can now see looks like a withered shadow of Batman, in that the shadow clearly has something that looks like a cape and pointy bat ears. Renee is looking down at the shadow disdainfully, and grabbing a torch from her belt.

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - I don't even know why I'm doing this. The lady... THAT lady... Is clearly manipulating me somehow. I mean no broad talks like that, do they? To say nothing of what she was... Doing... That was... Where was I?


3-- Renee kicks the Bat-Shadow as hard as she possible can, the shadow's body crumpling around her foot.

SFX/KICK - KA-THWUMP

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - Oh yeah. I HATE The Bat.


4-- Renee has turned on the torch and is waving it at The Bat. The Bat is a crazy looking tramp with overlong canines, a long shawl that looks like a cape, and a mask made out of soggy cardboard. A mask that looks an awful lot like Batman's.

SFX/TORCH - KLIK

SPEECH BUBBLE/THE BAT - GAH! WHARRAYA WAN'?!

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - Crazed son of a bitch. Years ago his family were shot down in this very alley. Since then he's been stuck in a deranged state of mind, refusing to leave this godforsaken little alley. Still, he hears things. And if there's one thing a P.I. needs in a city like this it's someone with good ears. Even if he is The Bat. That Bat for Bat$#!t, obviously.


5-- Renee has grabbed The Bat by his shawl and pinned him to wall, leaning in, yelling in his face. She's shouting so hard that spit is flying from her mouth at The Bat.

SPEECH BUBBLE/RENEE MONTOYA - LISTEN! I want to know about some strange men. A group of them. Carouse with a Woman In White, a fake-tanned sort. Beasts, I'm told. DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING?!


6-- The Bat is now responding, horrible green clouds of rotten breath spewing forth from his mouth. He has maybe two teeth in total left in his mouth. Renee is leaning back, cringing, screwing up her face in an attempt to hold her breath.

SPEECH BUBBLE/THE BAT - Ya, I know about the beasties. They a... Uh... 'ligious people. Mus' be. Tha's why they go to... Urp... The Dark Bible! Now LEMME GO!

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - There has to be a better way than talking to this schmoe, I swear.


7-- Renee throws The Bat back to the ground.

SFX - THUDD

SPEECH BUBBLE/RENEE MONTOYA - Urgh... That'll do Bat. You go back to protecting "your world".

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - Still, I have a lead. The Dark Bible. It's not a religious place at all, you see. The Bat's confused. It's the most high-class strip joint around here. And it adds a new level of fear to my job. I'd better head straight there...


8-- Renee is now at one end of the alley, with the reader viewing from the other end. The Bat has curled back up against the wall, and Renee's silhouette is being violently sick onto the floor.

SFX/RENEE MONTOYA - HURRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGLE!!

NARRATION/RENEE MONTOYA - Right after I've purged this whole experience from my body...



To be continued next week! Read More ..

MADMAN

TOTALLY DIDN'T FAIL TO THINK OF A PUNCHLINE FOR THIS POST BECAUSE HE'S BEEN SO BUSY LATELY.

No, That's me. Read More ..