Saturday, 5 September 2009

Flip The Page Review: Cable #18

Reviews massively cut down from 3 to 1 unless I make more time out of my arse. As such here's one with a warning:


Cable has been running for well over a year now and has proven a few things:

1. Duane Swierczynski isn't very good (Immortal Iron Fist also proves this)

2. Retcons make me MAD

3. Time improves everything. A bit. Not much.

As such we reach issue 18, also known as BALD PEOPLE IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE. What better than usual events lie inside? BALD ones.


Cable used to be in a great series once. We called it Cable & Deadpool and it brought out the best in both of the title characters. AND it starred some little-known greats like Agent X and Shen Kuei (The Cat). In fact volume 2 of the series was the first comic trade paperback I ever got. So HOW IN THE HELL DID IT ALL GO WRONG?!

I blame Swierczynski, who has made a habit of ruining good things (again, see Immortal Iron Fist) and angering me. It's not that he's a bad writer... Okay it is but I don't want to be jerk. I HATE YOU! STOP RAPING THINGS I LOOOOOOOVE!

*ahem* Perhaps I'm not the best choice to review this... Because I'm certainly the most spiteful person towards Duane on the internet. If I wasn't a scrawny fat guy (contradiction?) then I'd probably be far more aggressive than I am. Like I'd chase him down and yell at him... Okay, cry and beg but shut up I'm making a point here.

Actually I may be being too harsh. This issue sees Duane finally step up to the plate and TRY and write well and it comes off like he's certainly given a shit about the characters. If he keeps this up Cable could be redeemed in another year and a half of issues. MAYBE.

The art this issue is actually pretty bald.... er... good. Guzman is a very competent artist and someone I hope sticks around long enough to help fix this comic. You won't find a more bald... er... BOLD artist in the entire Cable run so far, which is a pretty unimpressive sentiment but It means a lot with how drab the series has been, even under Gulacy.


Holy shit I think some emotive storytelling just rammed itself down my throat. On the plus side it shows the solid stance of Cable nowadays and gives an inkling that Hope has developed into a real character. Both of these facts are almost pleasing.

Guzman pulls out some pretty spaceships and I go "OOOOH LOOK AT 'EM! POW POW SPACESHIPS WOOOOO!" or something. Kinda looks like they're humping though, which is the real reason this is a flippin' moment surely!

3. Bald Corps
Here come the balds! Good Bald Kid (I don't remember his name half the time) and Bishop both turn up to put the bald heat on Cable and Hope in the name of saving the world... Well I say Good Bald Kid wants to put the bald heat on Hope... I'm talking ANOTHER kind of heat than what Bishop has in mind. Kinky heat! BALD heat! Something she'll surely reciprocate and enj-

Oh. Man that boy is smooooooooooooooooth(headed) with the ladies.

4. Cable is STILL the man!

As much as I ride Swierczynskiskiskiskiskiski over ruining EVERYTHING I do have to sit back and admit that this is a cool moment. Can I pretend that all credit for how awesome it is goes to the artist? I CAN? AWESOME!


This moment made me go D'AWWWWWWWWWW... Then BALD! BALD! HE'S BALD!

.... Something might well be wrong with me.


... Sorry I'll stop. Good moment though I suppose. By Swierczynskittles standards.

7. OH SHI-

The Brood? As threats go this is the king enchilada and one I relish. This could go places beyond my imagination. Whether Duane'll take 'em there is unlikely but still I am slightly enthused!

So that's the issue. Is it good? No. Is it bad? No. This is a decidedly average comic, which is exactly why I'm in a good mood now. It could have been so much worse. And it wasn't. I salute you Guzman and Swervyskis for really pulling it off this month. I'm also telling you now this is the nicest I'll ever be to Duane. The twat.

... Not that he couldn't be perfectly nice outside of his appalling writing.



Next:.... WAIT POST 99 HOLY SHIT! Also all apologies to bald people, it's just this and Grant Morrison today have melted my brain.

No comments:

Post a Comment